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Years ago there was a story about New York triplets who were separated and adopted by 3 different families. They started a restaurant together but I never heard anything else about them.
To separate twins-even 25 years ago is very unusual. A lot of people would jump at the chance to adopt twins. I hope these young women get the answers they seek.
Years ago there was a story about New York triplets who were separated and adopted by 3 different families. They started a restaurant together but I never heard anything else about them.
To separate twins-even 25 years ago is very unusual. A lot of people would jump at the chance to adopt twins. I hope these young women get the answers they seek.
I watched a documentary about twins the other day and it showed two little identical twin girls from China who were adopted by different families - one in the US and one in rural Norway. The families apparently didn't know the girls they were adopting had a twin but when they went to pick them up the families realized that their babies looked a lot alike so after they brought them home they had DNA testing done which confirmed they were twins. The girls met for the first time at age six and hit it off right away despite the fact that they spoke different languages. Both were crushed when the Norwegian family were going back home after a couple of week long visit.
I don't know what I think about it. Isn't cruel to keep the girls apart? But how should the two families have handled it? It's a tough one. What I don't get is why the people in China didn't keep them together in the first place.
I remember the story about the 3 NY boys b/c we were living in the general area at the time, I think they went on to open a restaurant in NYC, they had different lives and were raised differently (obviously) but had very similar outgoing personalities, I think there was a thought there might have been a 4th but it was just the 3. Hadnt heard about the possible twin girls, sad they grew up so far away but neat that they eventually found each other, looking forward to an update in the summer after they reunite, how exciting!
Hadn't seen or heard about the 2 younger twins - understandably the girls were very disappointed but they'll always have that special connection and hopefully will be able to visit often (easy to say, I know), Im sure their families will make that effort. HOpefully the policies of the orphanage/s will change, I think every effort s/b made to keep twins (as well as siblings) together.
PS I found the video(s) of the 2 little girls, unfort. I dont have the link handy but you can just google 'chinese twins adopted separate families norway' (or something similar), so happy for them but they know it will be a long time before they see each other again, it was really bittersweet, the Amn mother said she and the Norwegian mother w/h happily adopted both girls but they werent told they were twins (had accidently met on the trip), very cute girls and so happy to be together in spite of the language barrier (I was wishing I understood Norwegian as it was being narrated in Nor. but it was short and easy to follow), I guess technically they do try to keep twins together but apparently it doesnt happen often at all, maybe it has something to do w/ the DNA costs, also in another case the twins were relinguished at different times, several weeks apart, and in another case they didnt look too similar as infants (they may have been fraternal girl twins, I'm not sure).
Last edited by Honeycrisp; 04-03-2013 at 10:40 PM..
Reason: adding ps
Heartbreaking. Don't know why siblings are separated...let alone twins!! I cannot even imagine how it would feel to learn later in life that I had a twin! Don't you think when the adopting parents found out one couple should have agreed to take them both? Is this wishful thinking?
One thing my DH and I discussed when we decided we'd adopt through the state was that we would NEVER accept a placement where there were siblings and we couldn't adopt all of them. I couldn't live with myself and neither could he. We actually are open to siblings if an infant/baby was part of the group because they are harder to place.
I hope Korea changes its laws about separating twins. Anyone know of any other countries that allow this practice? I know in the US, or maybe it's just my state, it is highly frowned upon and they try to avoid it at all costs. But then you all have already discussed a case in NY that is similar.
In one case, the babies came each w/ a helper from China but it was obvious when they got out of the vehicle, 2 of the babies looked very very similar - fortunately both were going to the same area of the same country (Canada) - apparently there's a lot of red tape involved and the babies c/h gone into a 'pool' and ended up in another country - Im sure both sets of parents did what they thought best at the time - the article said it was almost like the agency thought they were twins but just werent sure (I dont know the details) but both sets of parents lived very close to each other and the girls saw each other daily, if I remember right - in another case, while the visitation/reunion went fine, one family stopped all contact which had to have been very difficult on everyone, there was nothing the other family could do (other than hope for another get together eventually, they really had no idea) - and sometimes w/ siblings, one baby is born and a few years later, its sibling is born but circumstances may have changed and if contacted, the first family can't take the sibling (however, it's nice to have that option). Personally I know of a case where a half-sibling was born and the family who adopted the baby, also took the new baby (there was about 2-3 years between babies) and it worked out well (the family who adopted the earlier baby had no other children and were more than happy to take the 2nd one but it doesnt always work out that way).
sometimes w/ siblings, one baby is born and a few years later, its sibling is born but circumstances may have changed
Good point. In some cases it is unavoidable. Also some people parent one child and not another, for various reasons. So, yes, it can't always be avoided, but it is still sad.
Heartbreaking. Don't know why siblings are separated...let alone twins!! I cannot even imagine how it would feel to learn later in life that I had a twin! Don't you think when the adopting parents found out one couple should have agreed to take them both? Is this wishful thinking?
One thing my DH and I discussed when we decided we'd adopt through the state was that we would NEVER accept a placement where there were siblings and we couldn't adopt all of them. I couldn't live with myself and neither could he. We actually are open to siblings if an infant/baby was part of the group because they are harder to place.
I hope Korea changes its laws about separating twins. Anyone know of any other countries that allow this practice? I know in the US, or maybe it's just my state, it is highly frowned upon and they try to avoid it at all costs. But then you all have already discussed a case in NY that is similar.
The US still separates twins - with the exception of New York I believe because of the Louise Wise scandal where they deliberately separated twins to study them. The parents didn't know they just signed up for/agreed to a benign sounding study.
Heartbreaking. Don't know why siblings are separated...let alone twins!! I cannot even imagine how it would feel to learn later in life that I had a twin!
Yes. It is cruel to separate families, period (unless of course there is a safety issue). But especially siblings who had no say in the matter. Think about how many twins have been separated for twin studies.
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Don't you think when the adopting parents found out one couple should have agreed to take them both? Is this wishful thinking?
Many APs wouldn't return a baby back to their biological parents even if that is what was best for them. Who would agree to give them to another AP & how would they decide who took them?
I imagine that would be a fight to the death. & losing their APs at that point would be one more trauma anyway.
Quote:
One thing my DH and I discussed when we decided we'd adopt through the state was that we would NEVER accept a placement where there were siblings and we couldn't adopt all of them. I couldn't live with myself and neither could he. We actually are open to siblings if an infant/baby was part of the group because they are harder to place.
You have to consider that when you adopt there is always a chance they will have younger siblings. That's what happened to me. My parents wanted to adopt my sister along with me, but the family ended up raising her instead. Then a few years later my baby brother was born & adopted to another family. Sis spent her whole life looking for me & to this day we are still trying to find our brother.
Last edited by thethreefoldme; 04-04-2013 at 07:53 AM..
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I cannot even imagine how it would feel to learn later in life that I had a twin! Don't you think when the adopting parents found out one couple should have agreed to take them both? 
Is this wishful thinking? 
