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We adopted an infant with DS when he was 4 weeks old. It does say that we are his parents on the birth certificate. Should it say something else? That is a document that has to be produced several times and I can guarantee you that some school officials believe that kids that are adopted are trouble and it could lead to questions that would make the person who was adopted uncomfortable. I can certainly understand wanting to know who one's birthparents were. We know the names of our son's birthparents. The birth mother said that she might some day want to meet the child and the birth father said he was not sure he would ever want to meet the child (yeah, that impressed the heck out of me, not). The birth mother has had no contact with the agency in over 20 years showing any interest in the child that had been her son. I have heard of couples that adopt believing that it will be the "cure" for their infertility and I don't even have words to describe how horrible I think that is. Some people have a conscious and some don't.
Last edited by Green Irish Eyes; 10-24-2012 at 04:49 PM..
Reason: Split off from a thread with a different topic
It does say that we are his parents on the birth certificate. Should it say something else?
Well, birth certificates for all non-adopted citizens list the names of the people who created and gave birth to the person along with other accurate and factual information. Adoptees are the only class of people who are routinely issued falsified birth certificates and then legally denied access to the original, factual birth certificate. You did not create or give birth to your adopted son. So why should you be listed on the certificate of his *birth* ?
As I pointed out earlier, other countries use a guardianship model. The adoptive parents receive papers indicating that they are the legal guardians and the child's birth certificate remains factual and in tact. This empowers the adoptee to always have legal access to the truth about their origins without having to rely on others or state governments even after reaching adulthood.
It is my feeling that issuing fake birth certificates, covering up the truth and legally denying adoptees access to the facts is not exactly the most ethical of practices within the current adoption industry. The practice of falsifying birth certificates is certainly not necessary for people to raise a child not born of them. I would prefer to have truth and honesty for adoptees be the legal priority in adoption instead of sealed records and falsified birth certificates. Others might not take issue with this particular practice. But in addressing the original post, mothers who truly do not wish to parent their own children could just as easily give them to other people through an adoption system that does not falsify birth certificates (and empowers the child) than they can through one that does (and denies the child).
Perhaps it should be pointed out that the issue of birth certificates being altered to reflect the names of adoptive parents and perhaps a changed name of the child often occurs with international adoption as well as with domestic adoptions in the U.S.
In both cases, neither the biological parents nor the adoptive parents are given any choice in the matter: a child adopted internationally is likely to have a birth certificate which includes their actual date and actual place of birth, but which has been altered to reflect their new name and the names of their adoptive parents.
However, parents who adopt internationally frequently must travel to the child's place of birth and usually have an opportunity to see the child's original birth certificate, so their child's original name and the names of their birth parents become known to the adoptive parents - actually, this information is generally made available to them once they are in-country and are meeting with whatever agency or department handles adoptions in the child's country.
As this method of dealing with birth certificates has more to do with the laws of the child's birth country than with U.S. law, the difficulties involved in changing to a clearer way of listing the facts of the child's birth, biological and adoptive parentage, etc. are obvious.
I do feel that all of this information should be made available to the adoptive parents, and eventually to the child, once they are old enough to comprehend. Obviously, the "little-at-a-time" approach would be desirable, starting with the child's original given name, if that name is changed (a controversy I will not address here). Even a small child should know their country of birth, that they were adopted and are much loved, and that they once had a different last name (and they should know what that name was). The rest of the details can be filled in as the child's maturity and curiousity dictate.
Father's names are routinely not added to birth certificates. When I organized my son's peewee football association... there were many, many birth certificates that said "unknown" for the father. I do not know if it's because the mother choses to put that or really doesn't know, but not all birth certificates reflect the name of those who created the baby.
Post adoption birth certificates are issued with the child's new legal name. The old certificate is supposed to be destroyed. I do not believe this is falsified information, it is done so the child becomes part of a family.
Father's names are routinely not added to birth certificates. When I organized my son's peewee football association... there were many, many birth certificates that said "unknown" for the father. I do not know if it's because the mother choses to put that or really doesn't know, but not all birth certificates reflect the name of those who created the baby.
Post adoption birth certificates are issued with the child's new legal name. The old certificate is supposed to be destroyed. I do not believe this is falsified information, it is done so the child becomes part of a family.
It is falsified. I did not give birth to my daughter, and her modified BC will try to make it look as though I did. This was the entire purpose of this law- to allow people to adopt and act as though they gave birth to the child themselves. In the 50s and 60s, this was routine. Children were specifically matched with adoptive parents who they would hopefully resemble, and the BC was altered to make it seem that these people had actually given birth. The child was rarely told, and the secrets lasted into adulthood. Sometimes, adoptees discovered the truth by mistake. Rarely, they were told. But the falsified BC was meant to keep that adoptee forever in the dark about the truth of their heritage.
As an adoptive parent, I find this absolutely, 100% unacceptable. I am forced to lie on paper- I am made to put my name down as the mother of birth. That's a blatant lie, and I do not take that lightly.
A correct method would be to simply add my husband and I on as the adoptive parents. It would actually simplify matters a great deal. And it would still make us a family. This archaic method of trying to act as though the adoption never happened must change.
This is not true. The original birth certificates of adoptees are not supposed to be destroyed. And in fact, no state destroys the original birth certificates of adoptees. Our original, factual birth certificates are sealed away in a legal file by state governments. The falsified version then becomes our only legally recognized birth certificate. And there is no indication on our falsified birth certificates that an adoption even took place. So adoptees don't even have a legal right to know that they were adopted.
Again, this practice is certainly not required for a child to become part of a family into which he or she was not born. To wrap this back to the original post, mothers can give away their children without falsified birth certificates being involved. And wanting the practice of falsified birth certificates to stop does not make one anti-adoption.
Finally, a few words about the current system that makes birth records confidential. At the time those laws were enacted, they had a valid purpose. It was stigmatic during the 1950's and 1960's to give birth to a child out-of-wedlock. One can argue over whether there is ever a legitimate reason for the state to issue a fraudulent document all you want. However, there was a benign purpose to it at the time and that purpose was to try to protect children.
Not all adopted children were/are born out of wedlock.
I was born in the 1950's -- to married parents -- I know the names of both birth parents (and had a "casual relationship" with my birth mother for the last 20 or so years of her life), the address where they lived when I was born, and every other piece of information that's listed on my OBC. And yet, that original birth certificate remains locked away and unavailable to me.
Not all adopted children were/are born out of wedlock.
I was born in the 1950's -- to married parents -- I know the names of both birth parents (and had a "casual relationship" with my birth mother for the last 20 or so years of her life), the address where they lived when I was born, and every other piece of information that's listed on my OBC. And yet, that original birth certificate remains locked away and unavailable to me.
There's NO valid purpose for that. None.
I agree.
The following is a paper by Elizabeth Samuels (which others might have seen before as it has been posted elsewhere on this forum):
Abstract:
In the late 1940s and early 1950s, contemporary accounts reported that most states had sealed adoption court records completely but, typically, had sealed original birth certificates from all persons except adult adoptees. Through the 1950s influential experts recommended that original birth certificates remain available to adult adoptees, while birth and court records otherwise be closed to all persons except upon court order. In 1960 the laws in some 40 percent of the states still permitted adult adoptees to inspect them, but between 1960 and 1990 all but a handful of the rest of the states closed the birth records to adult adoptees. Since then a number of states have passed laws providing adult adoptees access to formerly sealed birth certificates. This article summarizes the authors research on and analysis of the complex history of the states sealing these records and now beginning to reopen them to the adult adoptees whose births they record.
(Correction and update: Delaware and Illinois provide a right of access to all adult adoptees, qualified by a possibility of a birth parent vetoe. At least eight states, including Nebraska, have recognized a right of access prospectively, which is also subject to birth parents vetoes. Since the publication of the article, New Hampshire, Maine, and Rhode Island have joined Alabama, Oregon, and Tennessee in restoring access to original birth certificates to adult adoptees.)
Presumably, the child would still be known by the last name of the birthparents.
Not sure why anyone would presume this. I married my husband and legally took his surname. And yet, I still use my (fake) birth certificate which does not have my husband's surname on it. This same process could work with the guardianship model as well.
Adoptive parents do not need a fake birth certificate claiming that they are the biological parents of a child they did not create or birth in order to parent that child. Or to have that child take their surname. Or to name the child whatever they want. Or to have the child call them "mom and dad."
Guardianship. Adoption. Call it whatever. There is absolutely no need for fake birth certificates to be involved no matter what it's called. And fake birth certificates are certainly not needed in order for a woman to give her child away.
Adoptive parents do not need a fake birth certificate claiming that they are the biological parents of a child they did not create or birth in order to parent that child. Or to have that child take their surname. Or to name the child whatever they want. Or to have the child call them "mom and dad."
Guardianship. Adoption. Call it whatever. There is absolutely no need for fake birth certificates to be involved no matter what it's called. And fake birth certificates are certainly not needed in order for a woman to give her child away.
Fake birth certificates of a child I didn't birth? How insulting but yet I giggle a bit. As much as you will hate me, I'm so glad that we got a new birth certificate issued for our children when they came into the US. Having a confusing Russian document would give your typical government worker a fit when doing things things like Passports or getting a driver's license. To make matters worse, we readopted in the US to have a birth certificate issued by the state to make it a bit easier for our kids down the road. They have a nice easy (insert state here) birth certificate. And sin upon sin, we Americanized our kids' names keeping Russian names as their middle names. Fortunately, we do have copies of the original birth certificates so at least they can trace down their parents if they feel the need at some later date. I guess that is one benefit to doing an international adoption. You do know the details. If they feel strongly enough about having a crappy life as an adopted child, they can always change their names back to their Russian ones. We will always be honest and open with them and share any information we have.
Again though, I will ask this question of you and that other poster who said something like we aren't the real parents of our adopted kids. If I'm not mom (or dad in my husband's case), what would you have my 10 year old son call me? Mrs. Smith? Hey You? Or is this whole debate just about fake birth certifiates?
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Issues surrounding adoptees' birth certificates
