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Can't rep you again, but I totally agree. Regardless of the adoptive parents' motivations, the fact remains that in some cases -- such as the ones you've listed here -- the kids really are being saved by being adopted. And with the negativity that sometimes clouds this subject, it's refreshing to hear some of the success stories.
There are indeed success stories. Many, many success stories.
There are also thousands of children right here in the US who need to be rescued from: "a life of crime, danger, prostitution and drugs" as well as homelessness and poverty. What of them?
If you do not know about the horror stories surrounding adoption, about kidnapped babies, about the abuse that happens to adopted kids because they are treated as "less than" by their new families, and about the kids right here in this country who age out of foster care and end up on the street because nobody wanted to "build a family" with them, then it is your own denial and ignorance.
I do know those stories. I also know the stories of the many many children who were willingly given up by their birthmothers, who were able to spend time in a good foster home, and who ended up being adopted by loving families. These children lost their native culture and country, but they gained much in exchange.
I also hear the stories about the children whose countries gave in to pressure to shut down international adoptions, and how these children end up in orphanages and other institutions. Once they reach a certain age they end up on the streets anyway.
Yes there were and still are many things wrong with international adoption programs. And nothing can justify human trafficking, abuse, and the other crimes committed against children. But those crimes will go on regardless. Rather than try to fix the problems the governments just shut everything down. It's easier, cheaper, and (sarcasm) who cares about a bunch of unwanted children anyway.
There are also thousands of children right here in the US who need to be rescued from: "a life of crime, danger, prostitution and drugs" as well as homelessness and poverty. What of them?
Yes, what of them?
As we have seen in this thread, it seems that the adoption bureaucracy in the US has made it very difficult for people who really want to help them. It's no wonder that many potential parents just give up.
Well since you have me on ignore you might never see this, but I am responding for anyone else who might care.
I am not anti-adoption. I am anti adoptionindustry. I am against children being used and treated as commodities. I am against the lies that children, birth parents, and adoptive parents are told by the adoption industry. I am against child trafficking, and that is very much what some countries are doing with their "orphans." I am against the lies that adoptive parents tell their children, and tell themselves about their children. And yes, I am against wealthy Americans and Europeans swooping in and taking children out of countries that will never, ever do anything to improve their country's policy on care for orphaned and abandoned children because they know the money will keep coming as long as they keep providing children. No, I don't believe that *I* will fix it - I believe international awareness and pressure on these countries should be used to force them to change. Human Rights law applies to kids too, not just adults.
If you do not know about the horror stories surrounding adoption, about kidnapped babies, about the abuse that happens to adopted kids because they are treated as "less than" by their new families, and about the kids right here in this country who age out of foster care and end up on the street because nobody wanted to "build a family" with them, then it is your own denial and ignorance.
I'm not going to silence myself because people want to live in a little bubble where adoption is always perfect and saves children when that is not always the case.
As we have seen in this thread, it seems that the adoption bureaucracy in the US has made it very difficult for people who really want to help them. It's no wonder that many potential parents just give up.
Yep, we tried twice to go domestic but the system is so hard to navigate.....you must agree to open situations, you have to be "picked" by a usually mixed up teen under tremendous stress, and many times, the teen required money and other bribes to pick you....oh, and shady attorneys are rampant if you read the adoption rating sites.
Moonbeam should write to Congress people to get the domestic system fixed first
None. There is no motivation. These are poor countries with out the resources to do these things. Your abject hatred of adoption colors your ability to see that we can not handle the problems in third world countries. Nor can we change the culture of foreign countries that pre-existed our own. Orphans are looked down upon in these countries. And you, single handedly expect to change that? Are you a social engineer with a specialty in third world countries? Hey I have news for you - these countries are not looking for your advice. Many like adoption because it relieves them of a social problem, brings revenue into the country, and helps their fragile economies.
People move from one country to another all the time. My family came from Russia, Poland, Belarus and Ukraine. That was over 100 years ago.
People move from one country to another and adjust. Did you read Sheena's account of orphans who found loving homes and positive lives? Or are you just obsessed with making adoption impossible and keeping children without parents in countries that don't care because you have a "thing" against adoption.
They can go to school and learn a trade more easily here, than there. Parent-less young adults do not just need job training. They need families who love them.
International Adoption also helps childless couples to build families. That's the part that you really hate, isn't it. Signing off and using the ignore feature. Tired of this anti-adoption clap trap.
Great post!
Way too much blathering on here from people who know nothing about International Adoption.
Our two Russian pricesses are also success stories in the making....how many Eastern Eurpopean orphans in their home countries can have realistic opportunities to go to med school? Ours does
I do know those stories. I also know the stories of the many many children who were willingly given up by their birthmothers, who were able to spend time in a good foster home, and who ended up being adopted by loving families. These children lost their native culture and country, but they gained much in exchange.
I also hear the stories about the children whose countries gave in to pressure to shut down international adoptions, and how these children end up in orphanages and other institutions. Once they reach a certain age they end up on the streets anyway.
Yes there were and still are many things wrong with international adoption programs. And nothing can justify human trafficking, abuse, and the other crimes committed against children. But those crimes will go on regardless. Rather than try to fix the problems the governments just shut everything down. It's easier, cheaper, and (sarcasm) who cares about a bunch of unwanted children anyway.
Very true Bill, a shame that Putin & Obama turned Russian adoptions into a political football and shut the whole program down.....alot of sweet children have missed out on the only chance for a family they will ever have.
This is something that I just plain don't understand. Never mind the emotional or moral reasons in favor of allowing international adoption. Consider, for the sending country, a much more pressing motivator: COLD. HARD. CASH. Warehousing their orphans costs them money, both in the actual costs of the orphanages and the social costs wreaked by mal-adjusted orphans when they're kicked out of the system and land on the street. But adopting them out to "wealthy" Americans earns them money. It just seems like a no-brainer to me.
First of all in many countries, some of the orphanages have been opened by the adoption agencies.
Also, international adoption can "enable" bad behaviour by countries. As you note, there is no incentive for them to do anything because the countries like the easy fix provided by IA.
Btw some countries are trying to change. Romania has closed down most of their orphanages (read Home and Hope's website (they are a UK charity who have been working with the Romanian government)). Uganda is also trying to change things so that there is a process to be followed before IA is necessary.
This is what some of us are trying to say. I am not against adoption but there is a process that must be followed. Adoptions should happen when necessary - they need to be childcentred, not parent centred.
I note some of you talk in extremes, i.e. that just because others of us feel that Family Preservation and Adoption must work together (because when they do, then adoption has the best outcomes), some of you feel that they must oppose each other.
Some of us are trying to talk in "greys", yet all some of you can see is the "black" in our grey. Try to actually HEAR what we are trying to say.
As for the article I posted, I did so because the attitudes that h e is referring to in his paper are very prevalent on this site. I am not saying that all on here are guilty of it. I also acknowledge that many are moving forward in their ways of thinking. I for one don't want to attack anyone for their past actions, I think the most important thing is how we go forwards from here. I know many APs on other sites who do have that openhearted attitude (and there are some on this site too).
Well since you have me on ignore you might never see this, but I am responding for anyone else who might care.
I am not anti-adoption. I am anti adoptionindustry. I am against children being used and treated as commodities. I am against the lies that children, birth parents, and adoptive parents are told by the adoption industry. I am against child trafficking, and that is very much what some countries are doing with their "orphans." I am against the lies that adoptive parents tell their children, and tell themselves about their children. And yes, I am against wealthy Americans and Europeans swooping in and taking children out of countries that will never, ever do anything to improve their country's policy on care for orphaned and abandoned children because they know the money will keep coming as long as they keep providing children. No, I don't believe that *I* will fix it - I believe international awareness and pressure on these countries should be used to force them to change. Human Rights law applies to kids too, not just adults.
If you do not know about the horror stories surrounding adoption, about kidnapped babies, about the abuse that happens to adopted kids because they are treated as "less than" by their new families, and about the kids right here in this country who age out of foster care and end up on the street because nobody wanted to "build a family" with them, then it is your own denial and ignorance.
I'm not going to silence myself because people want to live in a little bubble where adoption is always perfect and saves children when that is not always the case.
Thats where you have a disconnect...very few adoptive parents actually feel that way. I like a lot of your points...I am sad for you that you are locked up in so much anger that you are having trouble balancing your view.
P.S. You first pointed out hating the industry but then showed your hatred of adoptive parents. But...I am sorry you were hurt.
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Are you a social engineer with a specialty in third world countries? Hey I have news for you - these countries are not looking for your advice. Many like adoption because it relieves them of a social problem, brings revenue into the country, and helps their fragile economies.
