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I'm not sure if anyone can help, but my husband an I desperately want to adopt. I feel called to do this- in my soul.
I contacted an international adoption agency (not against domestic, just seemed like international might be easier, cheaper). I feel a little bit like kids in the USA have a fighting chance. We have enough government programs that they at least have a chance. In other countries, like sub-Saharan Africa, Syria, etc, that is not the case. This is part of what drew me to international adoption.
We already have 2 small children, so I am uncomfortable adopting a teenager from the foster system. I don't want to do anything that would potentially endanger them.
My husband and I are both active duty military, so we don't want to adopt anyone older than 2 or 3 that doesn't speak English. We'll have to put them into daycare after about 6 weeks off work, so I can't imagine doing that with a kid that couldn't speak English. I feel like this would be OK for an infant, since their language skills are not going to be too developed anyway. I'm not in a position that will ever deploy, so that's not a worry, however, I feel like adoption agencies may hold our dual military status against us. We have plenty of living grandparents and aunts and uncles that could support our family if we were to both deploy at the same time (no chance of that actually happening). We can both retire at age 38, and we're currently 34, so this isn't a long term issue.
We make plenty of money, about $140K a year, so we have no issues with income qualifications.
We have each been divorced (2x for hubby), and we're told this disqualifies us from adopting from almost all Hague countries and would be a factor domestically.
We do not practice religion, so that disqualifies us from adopting from Poland, other Catholic Countries, all Muslim countries, and may be a factor domestically.
We are financially stable, we are loving, our two kids are very smart and well adjusted, and we have a great home with a lot of love to give. But, with everything working against us, I can't seem to find any feasible solution.
We were told by the agency we checked with that Honduras was possibly an option, but there is a 4 year waiting list... I guess that's where all the "rejects" like us line up to adopt from.
I don't really know what I'm asking... I'm just frustrated because there are so many kids that need homes... and we're willing to open ours... but apparently we aren't good enough.
The agency I spoke with (can't remember which one right now) basically felt that they didn't want to work with us because no one would match to us with the divorces and military service. Maybe I'll have to speak with some more agencies. We were also discouraged by the monetary cost. I know I stated we make a good deal of money, but we still don't have $40K or $50K available.
Contact EVERY international agency.....sure someone will accept you for some country. You may have to accept up to 5 years though. Your other kids would help the new child's development.
International adoption was a great fit for us versus the carnival dog and pony show that is the domestic adoption system these days. No way would a stressed out 17 year old "pick" us due to our age and weight, regardless of the income or the Lamborghini in the garage.
We'll have to put them into daycare after about 6 weeks off work, so I can't imagine doing that with a kid that couldn't speak English. Lots of immigrants do exactly that - come with kids without English and put them in daycares and schools. The kids up to 12 pick up language in daycares/schools faster. For teenagers, could depend on their motivation.
We'll have to put them into daycare after about 6 weeks off work, so I can't imagine doing that with a kid that couldn't speak English. Lots of immigrants do exactly that - come with kids without English and put them in daycares and schools. The kids up to 12 pick up language in daycares/schools faster. For teenagers, could depend on their motivation.
True, but I feel like leaving your country and everything you've ever known, a new family, new food, and then not being able to communicate to ask questions, say you need to use the restroom, or to understand what is going on is just cruel. It's so much for a child all at once. But, I suppose they would adjust.
They would adjust - they're like sponges - and I believe in some countries, you can hire an English tutor in the child's native country before the child is actually adopted and that would help a lot too - something to check out.
I don't really know what I'm asking... I'm just frustrated because there are so many kids that need homes... and we're willing to open ours... but apparently we aren't good enough.
You are not frustrated "because there are so many kids that need homes" - you are frustrated because you want someone to hand you a healthy infant without having to do any work or waiting. Adoption is not like having a child by birth - the rules are there for a reason.
You need to ask yourself why you think it is acceptable to take a child - of any age - from their culture, language, religion, tribe, extended family members, etc. if you are going to adopt internationally. You need to ask yourself why you want to adopt a child and then immediately turn around and put him/her in daycare. You need to ask yourself why if there are "so many kids available" you are only interested in very, very specific criteria that will get you a baby right now.
And quite frankly, you need to ask yourself why you want to adopt a child when you already have two children - what purpose will that child serve? What hole is that child supposed to fill? If you are doing it for the children then you need to realize that adoption is supposed to be about the child, not you and your needs and desires.
Yes, I am adopted. Yes, my opinions are viewed unfavorably by a lot of adoptive parents on here. But I will continue to put them out there in hopes of educating some adoptive and potential adoptive parents.
You are not frustrated "because there are so many kids that need homes" - you are frustrated because you want someone to hand you a healthy infant without having to do any work or waiting. Adoption is not like having a child by birth - the rules are there for a reason.
You need to ask yourself why you think it is acceptable to take a child - of any age - from their culture, language, religion, tribe, extended family members, etc. if you are going to adopt internationally. You need to ask yourself why you want to adopt a child and then immediately turn around and put him/her in daycare. You need to ask yourself why if there are "so many kids available" you are only interested in very, very specific criteria that will get you a baby right now.
And quite frankly, you need to ask yourself why you want to adopt a child when you already have two children - what purpose will that child serve? What hole is that child supposed to fill? If you are doing it for the children then you need to realize that adoption is supposed to be about the child, not you and your needs and desires.
Yes, I am adopted. Yes, my opinions are viewed unfavorably by a lot of adoptive parents on here. But I will continue to put them out there in hopes of educating some adoptive and potential adoptive parents.
True, but I feel like leaving your country and everything you've ever known, a new family, new food, and then not being able to communicate to ask questions, say you need to use the restroom, or to understand what is going on is just cruel. It's so much for a child all at once. But, I suppose they would adjust.
"Good morning", a boy says, in a confident French. "My name is George, I am seven years old and I speak French, Arabic and English. And I just came from Syria. "
George came to Canada only two months ago and already speaks French almost without an accent.
"Do you have any brothers or sisters, George? " -asks the teacher of this welcome class which includes 11 small Syrians of six and seven.
"I am seven years old," replies the boy automatically. His accent is fine, but his understanding of spoken French is still lagging. Ms. Bissonnette assures that within three months, most of her students will speak and understand French without problems.
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