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Old 11-07-2022, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Oak Park, IL
247 posts, read 235,711 times
Reputation: 809

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Wild how babies and children, actual whole humans, are being discussed like property, like commodities, like blank slates that just can be swapped out from one family to another… Nope, this isn’t anything like child trafficking at all…
Signed, a domestic infant adoptee from 1982
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Old 11-07-2022, 05:50 PM
 
Location: Kansas
25,940 posts, read 22,089,429 times
Reputation: 26667
Quote:
Originally Posted by OPRFmama View Post
Wild how babies and children, actual whole humans, are being discussed like property, like commodities, like blank slates that just can be swapped out from one family to another… Nope, this isn’t anything like child trafficking at all…
Signed, a domestic infant adoptee from 1982
No one is discussing babies and children like they are property, commodities or blank slates that can be swapped. And, it is not anything like child trafficking, and that is something you might want to study on before making that claim again.

We adopted our son, a 4 week old infant with Down syndrome 36 years ago, born to a 17 year old mother, who had made an adoption plan before knowing her baby would have DS. I have great respect for her choice to continue the pregnancy and give her baby life. Through the agency, she got updates and photos when requested. We would have been open to her meeting this baby that she gave life, but she never requested that.

I have known some people who were hostile that they were placed for adoption. Some were relinquished, and some were removed by the state. I have a friend that relinquished her first son over 40 years ago, and they are friends now, and have contact and meetings with both of their families. She said they did a great job raising him. She put a lot of thought into doing this and choosing an agency.

As far as blank slates, it is my experience that "nature" far outweighs "nurture", so even an infant does not come as a blank slate.

I am sorry you aren't happy with the situation created by your being an adoptee, but no one here is talking about kidnapping or stealing anyone's child.
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Old 11-12-2022, 07:45 AM
 
Location: Oak Park, IL
247 posts, read 235,711 times
Reputation: 809
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse View Post
No one is discussing babies and children like they are property, commodities or blank slates that can be swapped. And, it is not anything like child trafficking, and that is something you might want to study on before making that claim again.

We adopted our son, a 4 week old infant with Down syndrome 36 years ago, born to a 17 year old mother, who had made an adoption plan before knowing her baby would have DS. I have great respect for her choice to continue the pregnancy and give her baby life. Through the agency, she got updates and photos when requested. We would have been open to her meeting this baby that she gave life, but she never requested that.

I have known some people who were hostile that they were placed for adoption. Some were relinquished, and some were removed by the state. I have a friend that relinquished her first son over 40 years ago, and they are friends now, and have contact and meetings with both of their families. She said they did a great job raising him. She put a lot of thought into doing this and choosing an agency.

As far as blank slates, it is my experience that "nature" far outweighs "nurture", so even an infant does not come as a blank slate.

I am sorry you aren't happy with the situation created by your being an adoptee, but no one here is talking about kidnapping or stealing anyone's child.
It’s just interesting that the voices of actual adopted people get silenced by the “not all adopters”.
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Old 11-18-2022, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
16,555 posts, read 10,607,780 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OPRFmama View Post
It’s just interesting that the voices of actual adopted people get silenced by the “not all adopters”.
Your views are valuable in a discussion about adoption. I just hope you can accept that not everyone's experiences were the same as yours.
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Old 11-23-2022, 08:06 AM
 
828 posts, read 771,926 times
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Originally Posted by bus man View Post
Your views are valuable in a discussion about adoption. I just hope you can accept that not everyone's experiences were the same as yours.
This is an important point…..
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Old 11-26-2022, 03:26 PM
 
Location: In the elevator!
835 posts, read 474,708 times
Reputation: 1421
There’s no shortage of adoptable infants / children, the real shortage is of infants and children that people want to adopt. Generally, there’s reason that these children are up for adoption.

Example: I recently saw an in person adoption advert, and 18 of the 20 foster children were black male kids of various ages, and 1 was a black female teenager that was close (within 2-3 years) to aging out of the system. The very last one, a tween white male child, was wheelchair bound, and suffered from many debilitating blood disabilities which meant that, according to his adoption biography, he would need extremely expensive 24/7 care and monitoring for the rest of his life.

It’s not racism, it’s just a fact of life. Nobody has to agree with me.

Last edited by StarryKnight1; 11-26-2022 at 03:35 PM..
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Old 11-26-2022, 04:35 PM
 
18,547 posts, read 15,572,959 times
Reputation: 16225
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
The fact that birth parents prevail is disgusting. Wrongheaded. Misdirected charity towards children who do need help. but NOT help to be a parent. They are NOT parents. They are kids who had sex and one got pregnant.

Any help given to them should be in the form of education or vocational training. If the child who becomes pregnant underage, should not be rewarded. They also should not be vilified.

Girls get pregnant purposely to get out of their houses with their parents. Must stupid thing liberals have ever done, and I am an independent progressive. Daniel Patrick Moynahan (D) NY, warned of this.

Today, it isn't minorities who are getting pregnant and keeping their babies as much as working-class whilt girls who want to escape their families, get funded for a new apartment, and a place to entertain teenage boys.

There is so much wrong with this whole scenario.

Adoption overseas is all but over in most countries. That was popular in the 90s and early 2000s.
Tearing families apart or coercing an adoption is not the answer, and is probably unconstitutional.

More sensible is to address the socio-economic factors that lead to high rates of out-of-wedlock or teen pregnancy.
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Old 11-26-2022, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Honolulu/DMV Area/NYC
30,612 posts, read 18,192,641 times
Reputation: 34464
Quote:
Originally Posted by Middletwin View Post
Too many are shopping for wet born infants, waiting for the tragedy of an infant losing their family. They shouldn't be parents anyway with such an attitude. Instead, they should rejoice that there are less infants to adopt. Then go help a child in need...cause that's the CORRECT purpose of fostering or adopting.
I see your point and would agree in theory. In reality, though, we know that there are and will continue to be a certain number of unwanted newborns every year. And I can't fault parents for wanting to adopt such individuals over older children, if only because many older children can be difficult based on their previous lived experiences that led to them being placed into foster care to begin with. I do applaud those who adopt older children as well, of course. But refusal to do so is not something that I think we should shame anyone over. Just my two cents
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Old 12-07-2022, 03:58 PM
 
217 posts, read 148,686 times
Reputation: 480
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterRice View Post
There’s no shortage of adoptable infants / children, the real shortage is of infants and children that people want to adopt. Generally, there’s reason that these children are up for adoption.

Example: I recently saw an in person adoption advert, and 18 of the 20 foster children were black male kids of various ages, and 1 was a black female teenager that was close (within 2-3 years) to aging out of the system. The very last one, a tween white male child, was wheelchair bound, and suffered from many debilitating blood disabilities which meant that, according to his adoption biography, he would need extremely expensive 24/7 care and monitoring for the rest of his life.

It’s not racism, it’s just a fact of life. Nobody has to agree with me.
On the surface it may appear that way. The fact is many waiting children have significant developmental, medical and emotional problems. The “systems” in place typically cuts government resources to an adoptee once a formal adoption is complete. Hence, these children are often keep in the foster system in order to hold on to government benefits. Many foster parents would formally adopt the child if the benefits for the child continued.

You’re correct, it’s not racism, it’s money.
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Old 02-03-2023, 09:52 PM
 
31,897 posts, read 26,926,466 times
Reputation: 24789
Don't have time to wade through previous posts so will just jump in.

Primary market for adoptions going back decades was for white healthy infants or young children.

Arrival of safe and effective birth control cut down on white females of all demographics having unwanted children. Arrival of legal abortion cut those numbers down even more.

On other side of things; demand, well in past few decades there has been a huge boom in surrogacy. Two reliable groups who previously sought children via adoption, whites both straight and gay, increasingly turned or are turning to surrogacy.

Paris Hilton just had an infant by surrogate joining a not small list of famous and or well off women doing so. In previous decades middle class to well off white women or couples who wanted a child often turned to buying infants via sketchy "baby brokers" who either worked on t their own (Jessica Tann: https://nypost.com/2017/06/17/this-w...e-to-the-rich/) or were part of institutional organizations such as various orphanages/homes for unwed mothers run by Catholics or otherwise religiously affiliated.

Rest of it is pretty much as others have stated; less stigma attached to unwed mothers along with vast social programs meant to provide for such "single mothers" means young or other mothers aren't pressured to give up their children and have means to provide for them.
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