Realism (Westborough: lease, insurance, loan)

[bigfatdude]

The only way you can live by yourself on less than $60k around here is if your housing is dirt-cheap (we're talking under $1200/month total, with all utilities included) and you don't have car payments or any other major debt. Throw in $500+/month car, car insurance and/or student loans, and you'll be eating ramen and living paycheck to paycheck.

[miu]

To the OP, what is happening to her grandmother's house? Did the state take it or was she able to sell it and keep the proceeds? Or if it stays a family house, can she return to it if the Boston experiment doesn't work out?

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by bigfatdude

The only way you can live by yourself on less than $60k around here is if your housing is dirt-cheap (we're talking under $1200/month total, with all utilities included) and you don't have car payments or any other major debt. Throw in $500+/month car, car insurance and/or student loans, and you'll be eating ramen and living paycheck to paycheck.

I dunno. I can't really agree with that. I save $800-1000k a month (in addition to retirement contribution) and pay more than that in rent and early around that.

Originally Posted by charolastra00

I suppose there might be a handful of apartments for $800 in Winthrop, but those are the exception, not the rule. Most apartments also do not have heat and hot water included. I live with other New Englanders and kept my heat at 62 when we were home and 58 when we weren't or at night all winter and our oil cost was over $1000. Electricity is sky high here - in the last few months, we've spent over $200 a month (though, granted, I live with 2 roommates and we all are in techy careers that require work from home).

For a financial picture - I'm a 27 year old professional whose only current debt is a car payment (though I have higher than average medical bills) and I live with roommates despite making almost 60K a year. I wouldn't feel comfortable with the dramatically reduced cushion I'd have living alone - and I'm single! What about saving for retirement, emergencies, her son's college? All are MUCH more expensive to achieve here.

People certainly do live here on a lot less, but often with family or with roommates.

Exactly! What you describe is kind of what I have been thinking would need to be in place in order to get by. However that is not the case.

Originally Posted by miu

To the OP, what is happening to her grandmother's house? Did the state take it or was she able to sell it and keep the proceeds? Or if it stays a family house, can she return to it if the Boston experiment doesn't work out?

Her grandmothers house is being sold to pay for assisted living care home, to replace my friend who has been caregiving for her, due to the move. I was hoping she would have to fall back on because I do not get the feeling this is going to work out for them.

[charolastra00]

Originally Posted by timberline742

I dunno. I can't really agree with that. I save $800-1000k a month (in addition to retirement contribution) and pay more than that in rent and early around that.

But if I remember correctly, you don't have a car, right? Cars eat up a ton of one's income in this area between taxes, gas, maintenance, and insurance (which is much higher than most other parts of the country), plus car payments if you have them. I need the car due to working in the suburbs with some physical mobility issues, but I could live quite comfortably on my own if I wasn't basically throwing $600 out the window every month. Wish I didn't need it! Many people have car expenses AND college loan expenses to top it off, which is tricky.

If the OP's friend was willing to go without a car, they would do better but would still struggle to support a family of 3 on very little skills in a much higher cost of living area than they're used to. I'm not familiar enough with Winthrop to know how easy it would be to get around without a car (I'm sure people do it) but it would be a huge transition for someone from Southern California. Especially in the winter!

Another thought for the OP - I doubt your friend and her family have appropriate winter clothes. When I moved from Georgia to Boston, that was one of my biggest expenses. I was able to get a lot of stuff off season at the LLBean outlet and Goodwill, but things like winter boots can be pricy. I had some winter stuff because it does get chilly in Georgia, but would assume that someone from Palm Springs where the average high is in the 70s even through the winter would need to buy a full winter wardrobe. For reference, our average temperature in January is 29 degrees, and this year we didn't go above freezing for 2 months. I have a student worker from LA who is STILL wearing her full winter parka and was walking around in the midst of winter with 2 coats and a sweater on.

[miu]

Originally Posted by capitalkid_1

Her grandmothers house is being sold to pay for assisted living care home, to replace my friend who has been caregiving for her, due to the move. I was hoping she would have to fall back on because I do not get the feeling this is going to work out for them.

So is it that the grandmother is going into assisted living care because your friend is tired of the arrangement or because it's now more care that she is skilled for?

I guess that I would recommend that your friend stick it out caring for her grandmother until the end, so that she can inherit the house to sell as starter money for a money elsewhere... if that is an option for her.

BTW what is the grandmother's house is worth?

Originally Posted by miu

So is it that the grandmother is going into assisted living care because your friend is tired of the arrangement or because it's now more care that she is skilled for?

I guess that I would recommend that your friend stick it out caring for her grandmother until the end, so that she can inherit the house to sell as starter money for a money elsewhere... if that is an option for her.

BTW what is the grandmother's house is worth?

Grandma is at that point, actually she was at that point long ago but my friend is so dedicated she decided to hang on a bit longer to providing care. Grandma needs in facility care now, with dedicated nursing that sort of thing. Not assisted living but nursing home facility a place with medical services on tap. My friend has been providing in home care for grandma for going on 12 years now.

Grandma has some kind of neurological condition. Whatever it is she doesn't know anyone anymore, hasn't for some years now. And her systems are compromised now, I think she has dialysis once a week but I do not know what organ it is in relation to. But the family just did not want to put her into care until it was absolutely necessary.

The house my friend lives in was her great grandmothers mothers house, which was passed down to her grandmother in the 1990's when *Great* died. So grandma had her own house at that time and then acquired her mothers house, so grandma has two properties tied to her.

The property grandma lives in and the one my friend lives in down the road. So, as grandma is close to ready for long term care, my friend decided she would make the move to Boston and my friends mother and brother decided since my friend is ready to leave they will sell both the properties for money for long term care in town for grandma.

They do three shifts between the three of them. Thats how its been going for years now. My friend, her mother, and her uncle each take a shift. Sometimes it runs over due to someone being late off their job to come home and start their shift at grandmas. But without the third shift filled they cant keep it up with just her mother and her uncle. Also, its about at that stage now anyway.

These properties are in no way showy type places. They are basic houses , bought in the 1960's-1970's for less than 20K each, each land alotment is 5 acers. I dont know what they will sell for, the area is rural, only small sections of town even have access to cable. It wont be a fortune tho'.

my friends grandmothers house on zillow estimate tool says 88K.
I think the idea of her staying put is way more practical, and doable. I dont know if she would inherit I think it would pass to her mother at that point. BUt i dont know what the finall arrangments are so I cant say.

we are meeting at my dads next month to visit so maybe I can throw some ideas her way when I see her, of course she will be well on her way to leaving by then but nothing is final until she leaves.

Thank you for the ideas.

Originally Posted by charolastra00

But if I remember correctly, you don't have a car, right? Cars eat up a ton of one's income in this area between taxes, gas, maintenance, and insurance (which is much higher than most other parts of the country), plus car payments if you have them. I need the car due to working in the suburbs with some physical mobility issues, but I could live quite comfortably on my own if I wasn't basically throwing $600 out the window every month. Wish I didn't need it! Many people have car expenses AND college loan expenses to top it off, which is tricky.

If the OP's friend was willing to go without a car, they would do better but would still struggle to support a family of 3 on very little skills in a much higher cost of living area than they're used to. I'm not familiar enough with Winthrop to know how easy it would be to get around without a car (I'm sure people do it) but it would be a huge transition for someone from Southern California. Especially in the winter!

Another thought for the OP - I doubt your friend and her family have appropriate winter clothes. When I moved from Georgia to Boston, that was one of my biggest expenses. I was able to get a lot of stuff off season at the LLBean outlet and Goodwill, but things like winter boots can be pricy. I had some winter stuff because it does get chilly in Georgia, but would assume that someone from Palm Springs where the average high is in the 70s even through the winter would need to buy a full winter wardrobe. For reference, our average temperature in January is 29 degrees, and this year we didn't go above freezing for 2 months. I have a student worker from LA who is STILL wearing her full winter parka and was walking around in the midst of winter with 2 coats and a sweater on.

Man o man they have no gear. That was one of the very first things I thought of. How will they get their gear in order so as to not freeze?

People in the desert dont have ANY idea what gear is save for a snowboard pair of pants for big bear mountain.
My Uncle lives in Palm Springs-and has NEVER owned a coat-of any kind. Really its unthinkable in most of the country.

Such a good point. And there is no second hand picking here for gear-or really anything substanitially warmth keeping. people dont buy it.

I have a feeling they could keep it up a bit longer though even with all the care grandma needs/future needs. Alot of people hire a visiting nurse/cna at this stage and get home machines for medical needs.

Some years ago I asked her if she ever had the title of the house transferred into her name. I asked because she has been making the mortgage payments all this time. She had said she had not gotten around to getting the paperwork done. I asked if at was in her moms name then, she said no it was still in grandmas name.

I told her man , she needed to get that done. Well she is a procrastinater. So it isnt done now. So, if grandma goes into care facility now she has to sell all of her properties for long term care because the state wont pick up where the money leaves off unless grandma is destitute. Also there are laws about transferring title to property inside of two year before admittance to long term care if the state has to pick up any charges at all.

So that might also play a role in the decision to sell the house if LTC is the way they are going.

Long term CF charges can be 100K a year . My grandma was admitted to one on her last two months and it was 12K a month not including doctor visits dental or any extras. And this was an everyday 3 star facility we arent talking high quality care. So if grandmas house sells for 90K and my friends house for 88K, its about 180K. Thats 1 year 9 months give or take, so at some point yes the state will need to take over after that.

I dont know. She would do better to stick it out.