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I can't believe that I looked at flights for this week, last week and it would have cost me $1000 round trip just for me! Thanks to all your encouragement, I found flights within the next two months that are less than $300!!! I just called my sister and she was less than excited for some reason. Then I called my Dad and he was just thinking about me not wanting to depress me by being around them at this time. I told my Dad there is no reason to wait. Things aren't going to be any different months from now so although he will be happy to see me, he also doesn't want to bring me down. I'm going to wait till the first week of December most likely to give him time to heal after his fall...his request.
I've been amazed at how cheap the flights are lately. Flights from my city to almost anywhere in the country for around $150 round trip these days.
I'm glad to hear that you're planning to go visit soon.
I'm glad you're going to visit them. Wow, that's impressive that your parents are 90!!!Hope everything works out for you. Good Luck.
Long livers on my Dad's side of the family. Unfortunetly my grandparent's on my Mom's side both died from illness before I was 16. My Dad's Dad passed away at 105 and his uncle at 95 and same with his older brother. My Dad hopes for my sake I don't have to live that long and suffer.
bbekity, I'm so sorry you're going through this and so sad for your parents as well. It IS so depressing for our elders to get to the stage in their lives where they can't, don't want, or simply get too tired, to do the things they once did. As for your mom's pride....yes, LOL, it can get in the way, but it's probably what's keeping her going.
It is terribly sad to be unable to get your parents out to socialize. For so many of them, they see others as old, but not themselves. You know, I think a lot of us are like that. Our kids are getting older, our grandkids are growing up and getting older, but somehow, with the exception of our bodies "betraying" us, we don't feel any older....does that make sense? I can't tell you how many people I run into, that I went to school with, that I find myself thinking, "Wow! They're really looking OLD!" Ummm newsflash Mel, you must be looking/getting old, too!
At 90, your parents probably don't want to look in "the mirror" of other people's faces and have to deal with just how old they're getting. Please don't try to push them into going into assisted living. Trust me, it would cost a heck of a lot more than their caregiver costs and there is NO guarantee that they won't fall or otherwise be injured there. Most of those places are so damned understaffed, it's not funny! If your parents have a one-on-one caregiver for 5 1/2 hrs per day, trust me, they're getting a heck of a lot more "caregiving" at home than they could get in assisted living.
If your parents have ever visited someone in an ALF, you can be sure it steeled their resolve to stay at home. If they go into AL, they will have to leave nearly all of their prized possessions behind, lose their home, lose their privacy and lose their dignity.
I am so glad that you're making plans to go and see them. See what you can do about getting them some "senior companions" to come and visit...preferably someone younger than them. I wish you luck and your parents, continued health and safety. Bless you for caring so much! (((((HUGS))))))
Really appreciate the empathy my CD friends. My Dad just couldn't imagine giving up the home they have lived in for 50 years and move into a 350 square foot place with no kitchen plus being seperated from my Mom who would need medical care in a different part of the development. I wish they could afford 24 hour care as my Dad did fall once and he is practicily deaf so if something should happen to my Mom like a fall or worse, he probably wouldn't hear here or be able to lift her up. Back ten years ago I was visiting with my sister when my Dad called to tell her that our Mom fell and he couldn't lift her up and she hurt her arm. Did he call 911 first? No. He calls a family member who is not trained in these situations whether to lift or not to lift. My sister couldn't lift her or myself so we called 911. It took two guys with my Mom screaming in pain to take her to the ER. I wish my Dad would get Life Alert. If we did, he wouldn't use it most likely. He doesn't know where his hearing aid is most of the time. Oh, that reminds me...having to hear the tv turned way up in volume so he can hear it all day. Reminder to bring earplugs.
Really appreciate the empathy my CD friends. My Dad just couldn't imagine giving up the home they have lived in for 50 years and move into a 350 square foot place with no kitchen plus being seperated from my Mom who would need medical care in a different part of the development. I wish they could afford 24 hour care as my Dad did fall once and he is practicily deaf so if something should happen to my Mom like a fall or worse, he probably wouldn't hear here or be able to lift her up. Back ten years ago I was visiting with my sister when my Dad called to tell her that our Mom fell and he couldn't lift her up and she hurt her arm. Did he call 911 first? No. He calls a family member who is not trained in these situations whether to lift or not to lift. My sister couldn't lift her or myself so we called 911. It took two guys with my Mom screaming in pain to take her to the ER. I wish my Dad would get Life Alert. If we did, he wouldn't use it most likely. He doesn't know where his hearing aid is most of the time. Oh, that reminds me...having to hear the tv turned way up in volume so he can hear it all day. Reminder to bring earplugs.
Do you have neighbors nearby that are aware of their situation and do they have an emergency contact number for you or your sister just in case such an incident like that occurs? Sometimes neighbors can be a great help even if they just check in to see if all is ok every day for a few minutes or every other day.
Do you have neighbors nearby that are aware of their situation and do they have an emergency contact number for you or your sister just in case such an incident like that occurs? Sometimes neighbors can be a great help even if they just check in to see if all is ok every day for a few minutes or every other day.
Honestly, I think every person out there with older relatives should enroll in a CNA class and purchase a "gait belt". My hubby's aunt called our home one day, a couple of years ago and told me that her friend had fallen, at her house. The friend was just fine....nothing wrong, no pain, nothing....just fell and couldn't get up. Hubby's aunt is a very small woman and her friend was so very not. LOL
I grabbed a gait belt that I had handy, from my old CNA days and headed over there. True to Auntie's word, her friend was just fine, just couldn't get up. I instructed hubby as to how we were going to lift this large person to her feet and 1-2-3, voila! On her feet and to a chair she went. No pain, no injuries, zipless and flawless. CPR and lifting are important skills to have. If one doesn't want to actually take a class, there are many places online where you can get instruction on these skills. Please, you never know when you're going to need them and they are simple skills to learn....skills which may not only save someone else, but save yourself from injury as well.
Honestly, I think every person out there with older relatives should enroll in a CNA class and purchase a "gait belt". My hubby's aunt called our home one day, a couple of years ago and told me that her friend had fallen, at her house. The friend was just fine....nothing wrong, no pain, nothing....just fell and couldn't get up. Hubby's aunt is a very small woman and her friend was so very not. LOL
I grabbed a gait belt that I had handy, from my old CNA days and headed over there. True to Auntie's word, her friend was just fine, just couldn't get up. I instructed hubby as to how we were going to lift this large person to her feet and 1-2-3, voila! On her feet and to a chair she went. No pain, no injuries, zipless and flawless. CPR and lifting are important skills to have. If one doesn't want to actually take a class, there are many places online where you can get instruction on these skills. Please, you never know when you're going to need them and they are simple skills to learn....skills which may not only save someone else, but save yourself from injury as well.
I am so glad to hear this!! Gosh, wouldn't it be nice if everyone learned these things? What if your neighbor, your friend, your child, your parent or sibling were in dire need of help and you were unable to help them, when the skills are incredibly simple. What if you tried to help someone else and you ended up on the floor alongside them?....and there had to be 2 ambulances called? It is so easy to hurt yourself when helping someone else up. I have singlehandedly 'lifted' several very large people from the floor....well over 300 lbs, with simple skills, a 3" wide canvas belt and proper body mechanics, with no injury to either person.
Really appreciate the empathy my CD friends. My Dad just couldn't imagine giving up the home they have lived in for 50 years and move into a 350 square foot place with no kitchen plus being seperated from my Mom who would need medical care in a different part of the development. I wish they could afford 24 hour care as my Dad did fall once and he is practicily deaf so if something should happen to my Mom like a fall or worse, he probably wouldn't hear here or be able to lift her up. Back ten years ago I was visiting with my sister when my Dad called to tell her that our Mom fell and he couldn't lift her up and she hurt her arm. Did he call 911 first? No. He calls a family member who is not trained in these situations whether to lift or not to lift. My sister couldn't lift her or myself so we called 911. It took two guys with my Mom screaming in pain to take her to the ER. I wish my Dad would get Life Alert. If we did, he wouldn't use it most likely. He doesn't know where his hearing aid is most of the time. Oh, that reminds me...having to hear the tv turned way up in volume so he can hear it all day. Reminder to bring earplugs.
Those Life Alert devices are a great idea. My mother wears hers 24/7. BUT, the one time she really needed to use it, after a fall, she didn't. She knew her doors were locked, and she didn't want them breaking a door down. So, now we have installed a keypad for the garage door, and given the code to Life Alert, the local PD, and her closest neighbor.
It is very difficult dealing with elderly parents long distance. I am the closest, and still have a 4 hour drive. I try to visit every 6 weeks, and my siblings fly in at least 2 x's a year.
My mother was very depressed when my father was so ill with cancer. We visited more for her sake than his. Fortunately, she seems to have weathered it all well, and has become more socially active since she doesn't have to worry about leaving him home alone.
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I can't tell you how many people I run into, that I went to school with, that I find myself thinking, "Wow! They're really looking OLD!" Ummm newsflash Mel, you must be looking/getting old, too! 
So, now we have installed a keypad for the garage door, and given the code to Life Alert, the local PD, and her closest neighbor.
