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Old 03-06-2023, 05:01 PM
 
11,276 posts, read 19,556,099 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwatted Wabbit View Post
I doubt there are legal restrictions but a phone call or email should confirm that.

I'd have preserved Molly because she was my closest nearest and dearest companion. She took to my lap years ago, and has been with me faithfully ever since.

Looking back, I think she was showing signs of her imminent departure some months back, maybe as much as six months before she died. She moved from cuddling next to me at night to sleeping on my wife's side of the bed. She didn't always come to my lap when I was on the recliner. That was new. She was ALWAYS there.

A distancing. Almost signs or messages that she would be departing, and joining my wife, and I'm just letting you know poppy. Just so you know.

To me, it would have been a great comfort to see her curled up asleep. I could rub her little head or scratch her chin or cheeks, it's a comforting feeling. Not for everyone, but that's how I'm wired.
But that was not to be. As it is, I can place my hand on her little box as I pass by, as I go through our bedroom door.

I have witnessed this behavior in cats twice. In my experiences though, the cat getting ready to leave us was distancing herself from another cat who was deeply bonded to her. I think it helped them, the ones left behind I mean. They didn't grieve less, but they didn't call and search for them, something I have also experienced from a bereft cat. And man does that rip your heart out.

I hope, if you are open to it, Molly pays you some nice visits, either in dreams, or in your presence (getting a glimpse out of the corner of your eye for instance) or in your mind, or all three.
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Old 03-06-2023, 05:15 PM
 
Location: Midwest
9,398 posts, read 11,147,212 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by catsmom21 View Post
I have witnessed this behavior in cats twice. In my experiences though, the cat getting ready to leave us was distancing herself from another cat who was deeply bonded to her. I think it helped them, the ones left behind I mean. They didn't grieve less, but they didn't call and search for them, something I have also experienced from a bereft cat. And man does that rip your heart out.

I hope, if you are open to it, Molly pays you some nice visits, either in dreams, or in your presence (getting a glimpse out of the corner of your eye for instance) or in your mind, or all three.
Of the three other insiders, Molly was close to Inky. We brought Inky inside when she was a kid, even though spayed she was still being relentlessly pursued by the two male outsiders. All, of course, were eventually trapped and neutered. Molly adopted Inky as her baby, they hung out together they slept together touching. But I think I was her #1 bud of all the living things in the house. And for that I am grateful. It was agonizing as she got sicker and sicker.

I would love to have a Molly dream. Or a dream involving my wife, for that matter. I talk to Molly every day, as I talk to my wife every day.

It's a separate thread I'm considering, involving cats who have been in my life, who I've known and loved and who knew and loved me. From the first big grey kitty we had when we lived in the country, long ago, who I'm sure snuggled with me at night, who I snuggled with at night, where I suspect I might have gotten my great fondness for and closeness to kitties.

I say goodnight to each of them every night, and thank you, before dropping off. And of course to my wife and parents. But so far no Molly dreams I remember.
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Old 03-09-2023, 09:41 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,361 posts, read 14,636,289 times
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My Nimbus is a beautiful boy. His floofs are silky and luxurious. And in the abstract, I don't object to having ~animal~ pelts around (I have a few lamb skins and rabbit skins) and I've used ~animal~ skulls in crafts before, and I've seen the skeletal displays done by certain taxidermists and even a particular "rogue taxidermy" artist is out there whose work I admire...

(Rogue taxidermy is when they are doing somewhat more creative things, like the monkey holding a martini or green Franken-squirrels or my favorite, the Capricorn which is a baby goat and a fish tail... https://www.sarina-brewer.com/introduction.html )

But I'm just way too emotionally close to my cat. It isn't a rational thing, it isn't about social taboos, I couldn't care less about society's taboos in a lot of other instances... Just the thought of having any part of his body kept intact as though he's a mere animal when he lived his life as my friend and companion, I can't. I can't do it. Like in the abstract, the idea of people having the skeletons or skulls or even preserved tattooed skin or whatever of other humans for whatever reason, does not bother me...but I wouldn't want anything like that from anybody that I actually KNEW. It would be a constant reminder that the personality that used to animate and dwell within this body is now departed. I feel like it would keep me anchored to grief.

So gorgeous silky silver floofs and all, I will end up having my cat cremated when the time comes, as our other dead have been and as I intend to be. I actually intend to get a room at a resort somewhere in Estes Park, CO (no, not the specific hotel from The Shining, thanks, but more of a relaxing and luxurious sort of place)...and we will go to a particular site in a park where the State allows people to scatter ashes. It's a very nice meadow and I think that the excursion will do us good.

Because right now, in my father in law's house, there are the ashes of a couple of grandmothers, my husband's Mom, and at least two cats (if not more)...and we will eventually have my father in law's ashes as well. I'm not very keen to hoard the cremated remains of deceased people and creatures.
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Old 03-09-2023, 11:42 AM
 
11,276 posts, read 19,556,099 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
<snip>
But I'm just way too emotionally close to my cat. It isn't a rational thing, it isn't about social taboos, I couldn't care less about society's taboos in a lot of other instances... Just the thought of having any part of his body kept intact as though he's a mere animal when he lived his life as my friend and companion, I can't. I can't do it. Like in the abstract, the idea of people having the skeletons or skulls or even preserved tattooed skin or whatever of other humans for whatever reason, does not bother me...but I wouldn't want anything like that from anybody that I actually KNEW. It would be a constant reminder that the personality that used to animate and dwell within this body is now departed. I feel like it would keep me anchored to grief.

So gorgeous silky silver floofs and all, I will end up having my cat cremated when the time comes, as our other dead have been and as I intend to be. I actually intend to get a room at a resort somewhere in Estes Park, CO (no, not the specific hotel from The Shining, thanks, but more of a relaxing and luxurious sort of place)...and we will go to a particular site in a park where the State allows people to scatter ashes. It's a very nice meadow and I think that the excursion will do us good.

Because right now, in my father in law's house, there are the ashes of a couple of grandmothers, my husband's Mom, and at least two cats (if not more)...and we will eventually have my father in law's ashes as well. I'm not very keen to hoard the cremated remains of deceased people and creatures.

I feel the same. I have lots of fur from combings, combed off them when they were alive. I have whiskers, lost when they were alive, and even a couple of lost baby teeth. But I don't want anything that came from their bodies after they are dead, including the ashes. I sign them off to be cremated and buried in a cemetery, of the company my vet uses for this purpose.

Three of my departed cats are buried on land I will never step foot on again. My (exhusband) wouldn't "allow" me to spend the money to have them cremated. But I have the heavy naturally cat shaped stone from that spot, and that gives me comfort. Their souls aren't in that ground anyway. Their souls are with me still, forever.
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Old 03-09-2023, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Ruston, Louisiana
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenworthy53 View Post
The vet put my sick kitty to sleep and put him in a shoe box wrapped in blue twine with a red flower on top. After giving him an online memorial service, I buried him in my backyard.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0orO9TCXSw
That was a very sweet service for your cat child! My Essie is a black cat too. I hope you can find solace in knowing that you gave your cat the best life it could have asked for. What a wonderful gift. Far too often I see stray cats behind restaurants and buildings looking for food and shelter and feel so bad for them. But to take a cat and give it a family and love and attention and all the food it wants is such a blessing. What a wonderful life your baby had. Huggz
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Old 03-09-2023, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Ruston, Louisiana
2,071 posts, read 1,038,203 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwatted Wabbit View Post
Our sweet baby Molly got her assist from sickness and pain last Friday. I got the number of a pet crematory, that's what we've done with all out other deceased pets. Made a 10am Saturday appointment. Saturday it dawned on me, perhaps Molly was messaging me but I've never had this thought before, that how about taxidermy?

So I called and cancelled the Saturday crematory appointment, tomorrow I'm going to go by a couple of taxidermists. I read up on the procedure, they also freeze dry.

Thoughts?
I was talking about that to my friend the other day. What seems comforting now could become very sad in the long run and actually prolong our healing. We are supposed to accept death and heal from it, not try to hang on by keeping what "looks like them" around us so it will feel as if they are still there. I've thought a lot about this and I think either cremation or burying them in your yard and getting a pretty customized stone would be better than the constant reminder that their soul is gone and so are they. I doubt it would be comforting as time goes on.
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Old 03-10-2023, 10:06 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,361 posts, read 14,636,289 times
Reputation: 39396
You know, I saw this website where they encapsulate a bit of ashes from a cremated loved one (human or pet) in a pretty glass object. Most of them look like orbs or paperweights, they also do jewelry. The ashes are swirled into the interior of the glass with colors and sparkles. And I thought, "what a lovely idea!" and I was intrigued about it.

Then I spoke with my Mom, who is very into thrifting and she said, "Yeah I have seen countless of those things in thrift stores." And I imagined...yeah...you know...once I pass on and one of my kids is going through all of my stuff, it would look like just some glass paperweight, unless they knew or I had it engraved or marked or something. But still, eventually somebody will come into ownership of it and think, "This is just junk I don't want." And off to the thrift store it goes.

So yeah, second thoughts about that. Probably better to spend the money on a nice stay somewhere relaxing and go out into a beautiful spot to scatter the ashes.
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