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And I forgot to mention.
There is a special town in Maryland that was built specifically for interracial couples, probably in mid 1960s.
Kind of communist way. I don't remember the name of the place, maybe Lovetown or something like that.
I remember when I browsed one dating website a while ago, I saw many mixed girls living in that particular town.
That means the old communist concept still works there. This will be probably the only place for you to go, if you had troubles even in Houston and San Diego.
...Oh I think the name of the place is Columbia MD, not Lovetown
my husband and I can't stop laughing at/with this! A whole town built for people who don't mind ethnic differences when it comes to love? No way! Thanks for the tip!
My husband and I trade and invest, so we make most of our "monthly income" from dividends. Since we work from home, we've had the freedom to move quite a bit.
Our main concern is about safety in Wilmington DE, then again, that's been an issue for us here as well. We spent our first month in Fourth Ward and that was such a nightmare, we now live in "hipster" Montrose and it STILL isn't safe here-gun shots, roaches and rats every where, drunk fights almost every weekend etc.
Saza Korse,
Fantastic!! I am working my tail of now to get to that position, namely to develop a passive income that can realistically be done on my own terms. So, kudos to you!!!!
The thing that scares me about Wilmington versus the absolute worst places in Boston is that I know Boston, but don't know the neighborhoods in Wilmington.
People who I know, who either grew up in Wilmington or were lifelong residents in unincorporated areas around the Wilmington municipality itself, will tell me things like "ohhh" go to south Market street but not
north Market street, or go to Trinity Vicinity but not past so and so street.
For me, it takes too much mental accounting as I am not really familiar with the neighborhoods. Certainly someone who is more familiar would be more comfortable and easily navigate. But, I know what I know and I know what I don't know.
Once I went to try out a restaurant, Mikimotos, one night. I took a wrong turn and headed in a direction I thought would bring me back to either RTE 13 or RTE 95. I couldn't have driven more than 5-10 blocks and wound up squarely in the middle of one of those "holy crap" situations- so many people hanging out on the street, obvious drug deals, etc. So unfortunately, my sentiment was never again. I'll go to Harry's and the Riverfront, Specific places in Trolley Square, and just about anywhere in Greenville/Centreville etc, but the aforementioned experience was enough for me.
I have been in all sorts of areas, but for me, there is a difference between knowing a neighborhood and being an outsider.
Saza - I am going to take you at your word that you are in your mid-20s, that you and our spouse have already lived in a full dozen different cities, and that you have encountered overt and hateful racism in each one. With that being true, I conclude that no matter where you live, you are more likely than not to encounter the same. If, therefore, you will not find a completely bias-free home, the only variable you can change is you. There are two suggestions I can offer in doing so:
1) As hard as it may seem, you will have to develop some inner armor. By that, I mean you will have to know with your very being that epithets expressed by others have no power. They say more about the person expressing them than they do about you. I know this is tough challenge for a person in their 20s, but over time, you will grow in confidence and spirit. It's more than unfair. It's reprehensible that you are a target of prejudice and racism, but the only avenue for you is to render it of powerless.
2) To support you on this journey, cultivate friends who are not prejudiced and build your social life around them. For example, if you are religious, you are likely to find friendly company with the UUs, the Quakers and with black Baptist congregations (I'm sure there are many others). Cultivate true friends though work, social groups, volunteering, neighbors, etc.
1) As hard as it may seem, you will have to develop some inner armor. By that, I mean you will have to know with your very being that epithets expressed by others have no power. They say more about the person expressing them than they do about you. I know this is tough challenge for a person in their 20s, but over time, you will grow in confidence and spirit. It's more than unfair. It's reprehensible that you are a target of prejudice and racism, but the only avenue for you is to render it of powerless.
2) To support you on this journey, cultivate friends who are not prejudiced and build your social life around them. For example, if you are religious, you are likely to find friendly company with the UUs, the Quakers and with black Baptist congregations (I'm sure there are many others). Cultivate true friends though work, social groups, volunteering, neighbors, etc.
I wish you the very best on this journey.
Thanks so much for the tip! I grew up in small-mid sized towns in West Africa and Northern Cali; both places are diverse AND friendly. I was very spoiled and used to the amazing quality of life and general friendliness of people in both locations. On the other hand, they are small towns and everyone knew my business. I moved away to go to college in the bay area-where I met my husband. Ever since my husband and I got married and started living in different places, I guess I never took the time to consider how my upbringing may have affected my sensitivity to other people's hatred.
We are not religious but we do like to volunteer with agricultural events, theater, and music festivals.
Thanks again for the tip, I'm glad I started this thread.
My husband and I are an interracial couple whose moved around the country quite a bit. I was born in Ghana and raised in West Africa and California. My husband is a white American who was born and raised in California. We've lived among so called liberals and progressives who did stupid things like call us "race traitors", "sell out b*tch" "N*gger Lover" etc.. We've lived in the following places so far and they've all proven to be hateful towards Black/White interracial couples: 1) CA-Sacramento,Davis, Fresno, San Diego 2) NY-Albany, Rochester, Troy 3) MA- Boston, Worcester 4) PA- Philadelphia, Princeton 5) TX- Austin, and we currently live in Houston.
I know there isn't a place so perfect where only open minded and tolerant people live but we're still hopeful in finding a place that's somewhat peaceful. We were thinking of Minneapolis but decided against it because of it's horrible educational and wealth gap among Whites and people of color there. (also because of their unbearable winters)
We haven't tried Delaware but I lived in Maryland with relatives and loved that side of the east coast. We don't like it here in Texas but don't want to go back to the West Coast either, and everything else on the east coast was so unbearably expensive, so that leaves Delaware. Are there many IR couples in Delaware?
We are more concerned about a relatively low cost of living (rent, food, gas), close proximity to city life and nature, and general courtesy in public. We're in our mid twenties, college educated, and we don't have kids or pets. After a little research, we have a tie between Dover and Wilmington, the two biggest cities in DE. If there are any black/white interracial couples on this forum, we need your help!
What are some of the pros and cons of each city in terms of quality of life for a young interracial couple? We're planning on buying a house in the next 3 years so safety is also important to us.
Thanks for your help!
There is no city that can guarantee you won't hear any racist remarks. Look at it this way, for the few people who acted racist towards you, look at all the people who didn't act racist towards you. One person calls you the N word or treats u in a disresprctful way in Sacremento, there was nearly a million who didnt call you the N word or treat you in a
disrespectful way.
When you call out those towns as being racist, it kinda leaves a stain that does accurately reflect that city's character.
Once I went to try out a restaurant, Mikimotos, one night. I took a wrong turn and headed in a direction I thought would bring me back to either RTE 13 or RTE 95. I couldn't have driven more than 5-10 blocks and wound up squarely in the middle of one of those "holy crap" situations- so many people hanging out on the street, obvious drug deals, etc. So unfortunately, my sentiment was never again.
Really, dude? Mikimotos is literally off one of the main thoroughfares in the city. If you got lost coming home from overpriced sushi times, maybe look at a map. It's not that hard to navigate, and it's in a totally safe part of the city that, yes, is a few blocks from unsafe parts, just like many safe parts of other cities.
Jeez, the scaremongers on this site. "Never again" to Mikimotos. SMH
To the OP: I have a really hard time believing you met actual liberal progressives in Philly who called your husband n**ger-lover. Delaware is moderate liberal, but nowhere near as liberal as Philly. If Philly wasn't liberal enough for you, you're not going to find better in Delaware.
Try West Philly. You will be welcomed with open arms. Celebrated, even.
Really, dude? Mikimotos is literally off one of the main thoroughfares in the city. If you got lost coming home from overpriced sushi times, maybe look at a map. It's not that hard to navigate, and it's in a totally safe part of the city that, yes, is a few blocks from unsafe parts, just like many safe parts of other cities.
Jeez, the scaremongers on this site. "Never again" to Mikimotos. SMH
Beginning your reply with "Ready dude" is not the most impactful way to issue a point.
By your own words "yes, is a few blocks from unsafe parts."
If you actually read what I have written more carefully, the post was not about Mikimotos or
an evaluation of it nor was it a misrepresentation of that area of Wilmington.
Mentioning Mikimotos was purposed with establishing the context as to where I was in Wilmington.
Please read more carefully what I had written.
I took a wrong turn and headed in the direction which I thought would bring me to RTE 95 or RTE 13.
My concern was that merely a few blocks away, the area got dangerous quickly.
Moreover, my post discussed the fact that, since I am not from the area and don't know the
neighborhood, I cannot do the mental accounting of the sort "drive down here but not past
so and so street."
So, please stop with the fake outrage and tired attempt at being insulting such as "from overpriced sushi times,
maybe look at a map" and please try to have a thoughtful discussion.
My experience actually happened, and it happened at night, and yes I choose not to place myself in
that situation again.
Since many coming to the forum are "newcomers" to DE, the experiences of a relative newcomer are
certainly apropos.
Last edited by newmassphd; 09-25-2015 at 08:47 AM..
To the OP: I have a really hard time believing you met actual liberal progressives in Philly who called your husband n**ger-lover. Delaware is moderate liberal, but nowhere near as liberal as Philly. If Philly wasn't liberal enough for you, you're not going to find better in Delaware.
Try West Philly. You will be welcomed with open arms. Celebrated, even.
Liberal progressives CAN be racist, for instance Abraham Lincoln was against slavery(for the most part) but he still believed that Blacks are not fully human. Following and/or practicing whatever political agenda you subscribe to does not mean you'll automatically refrain from problematic behaviors or beliefs at all times. People can be complex in their beliefs and behaviors. And location has little to do with that; example: I've met seeral hillbilly religious nuts in California and liberal progressives (also atheist) here in Houston, but they all disregard racial issues or sexist issues that their POC friends face.
I recently moved to Stamford, CT from Chicago after living in Chicago for 40 years and growing up in Brooklyn.
Chicago is pretty much like any big city with more than its share of fabulous bigotry as well as political corruption. But, truly, where I lived in Chicago, in the neighborhood of Lakeview and Lincoln Park (neighborhoods that stretch about 4 miles along the lake), I never felt any racial bigotry ((I am Jewish and my wife is Chinese). It is a virtual mecca for tolerance including the second largest gay community in the U.S. Very dense and everything I needed within a square mile radius.
Here in Stamford I was quickly reminded of suble bigotry that I had long forgotten. People are people and I miss that part of Lakeview (not the corruption). I know how you feel and what you are looking for. On the eastcoast, of the places I've visited (we are looking for a permanent place to live), the best I've found is probably Silver Spring, MD but I don't know to much about it and housing is as expensive as it is here in the Metro NY area.
Another really beautiful place I can throw out to you is Madison WI. Too cold for our retirement but another very comfortable place to live.
Good luck!
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