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He's lost some teeth already. And I think one broke off, though I am not sure how that happened. Decay, I suppose.
There is no convincing him to get this taken care of. Denial is powerful.
A different approach might be worth a try. "Remind" him that periodontal disease/infections don't just stay in his mouth. Bacterial infections can transmit to the bloodstream and lead to sepsis. Dental disease can lead to heart disease, stroke, complications from diabetes, not to mention ongoing, more and more resistant respiratory infections. If he has concerns about those other potentially serious life altering conditions it might make a dent. If he ends up with any of those it will be a lot harder to blow off. Maybe you need to display more disgust over avoiding physical contact, what's got to be bad breath, etc.
Last edited by Parnassia; 05-22-2022 at 12:51 PM..
He's lost some teeth already. And I think one broke off, though I am not sure how that happened. Decay, I suppose.
There is no convincing him to get this taken care of. Denial is powerful.
Then it sounds like dentures may be his last/only option. Sorry you have to go through this with your spouse. Poor dental health causes many other problems and the fact that you think he gave you an infection simply by kissing you is just awful.
I hope this all works out. Does he have anyone else close to him who might help convince him?
Fluffy, does he also have bad breath? I feel so bad for you.
He probably does but I try to avoid putting myself in the path of it.
One of our neighbors owns a dental practice with her father. I want to get in as a new patient so I don't have to drive 800 miles to see our family dentist. I doubt the spouse will follow suit.
If he's unwilling to brush (which is ridiculous), I would suggest things he might be willing to do. Rinsing out his mouth with peroxide solution would be one. I would suggest and electric toothbrush, which makes brushing go much faster and gets teeth cleaner than a manual. If he's squeamish, at least it could be over in a minute.
I would be blunt and tell him not taking care of his teeth doesn't lead anywhere good. Eventually his teeth will decay and fall out. Or the infection will affect his heart. Or he'll get sepsis. Good dental health affects your entire body.
I would tell him in no uncertain terms that kissing is out until he fixes this. You should not be forced to get infections due to his refusal to practice basic hygiene. Yuck.
I washed and flossed daily, but by age 72 the cost of expensive dental care in the $ 3-5 K range, per year, made me pull the few teeth remaining and go with full dentures. It was $ 12,000. No mote flossing, and I clean my teeth with my underwear once a week on laundry day. Just kidding. I rinse at night and soak the set in a special solution, time spent is 45-60 seconds.
When the oral surgeon pulled all my teeth all at once they put me under. The new set was waiting, ready to go in. I woke up maybe 90 minutes later and he put a mirror in my hand so I could see my new teeth. It was already in and I felt no pain. That doctor is my hero. They gave me 2 different kind of painkillers to take 3-4 times a day. There was no pain and after the second day I cut the medications in half and a few days later I stopped taking any.
The downside is that I can't eat a steak unless it comes from a grinder. No apples. I am able to eat hamburgers, pork, chicken, hot dogs and beef stew. Baked potato, rice is fine. Cheesecake is good - I was living on that and coffee during the first days of recovery.
The other downside is that I don't enjoy food as much as before. I sense the flavor, but the texture of food is different. My sense of smell didn't change. The way I speak has changed a bit when I listen to my own voice on a recording.
I lost some, gained some. I won't have another toothache, not ever, and my dental expenses are $ 30 a year for the Efferdent brand cleaning tablets. I wasn't overweight before, and now I lost some weight simply because I only eat for nourishment, not for stuffing myself full at the all you can eat buffet in Chico.
The last advice I offer, always cover your mouth before you sneeze. Don't ask me how I found out. Dentures on the floor are a great YouTube event. Comes Halloween, I can scare the children without a costume.
Last edited by mgforshort; 05-22-2022 at 04:07 PM..
There is nothing worse then seeing someone smile or talk with rotted or broken teeth. I am so sorry for you. I would not kiss him either. How old is your husband? If I were him I'd be embarrassed to speak to anyone in public if my teeth were like his. He must have very bad breath too.
A different approach might be worth a try. "Remind" him that periodontal disease/infections don't just stay in his mouth. Bacterial infections can transmit to the bloodstream and lead to sepsis. Dental disease can lead to heart disease, stroke, complications from diabetes, not to mention ongoing, more and more resistant respiratory infections. If he has concerns about those other potentially serious life altering conditions it might make a dent. If he ends up with any of those it will be a lot harder to blow off.
This is a very valid point and good advice! In January 2021, I got very sick and ultimately ended up at the ER. I was expecting a COVID diagnosis, but it was actually sepsis from a tooth infection!
I'm 47 and I've a lot of dental work over the years. I've spent over $25k in the last five years on root canals, crowns, an implant and several other treatments. My dentist is a great guy and always stays positive and encouraging even when he can tell that I'm frustrated and depressed over the "2 steps forward, 2 steps back" progress of my treatment plan.
If I have dental pain or even a slight hint that something is awry, I visit him as quickly as I can. So this wasn't a case of delaying treatment. I had no pain in my mouth, but there was an infection in one my back teeth that had a lot of bonding work.
I spent three days in ICU and a total of six days in the hospital. It took Vancomycin (most commonly associated with MRSA) and Rocephin with a host of other drugs to get it under control. Even several months later, I still wasn't feeling very good. And 18 months later, I'm still not my former self.
There is nothing worse then seeing someone smile or talk with rotted or broken teeth. I am so sorry for you. I would not kiss him either. How old is your husband? If I were him I'd be embarrassed to speak to anyone in public if my teeth were like his. He must have very bad breath too.
He's lost some teeth already. And I think one broke off, though I am not sure how that happened. Decay, I suppose.
There is no convincing him to get this taken care of. Denial is powerful.
You don't know how many teeth he has left and if he has cavities?
What is the reason to extract all of his teeth to do dentures?
He may only need a bridge or two to fill gaps.
If he does have all his teeth pulled, he doesn't have to have dentures. I know men who decided not to do them because of the expense.
I have gum disease that led to my teeth breaking at the gums. Even my capped teeth. Eventually I only have a few teeth left to chew food.
Before my mouth got this bad a dentist was going to make me two bridges, then I went to Philadelphia to see what they said, then COVID happened. Thankful we needed masks.
I've had my left side taken out a few weeks ago, my right will follow next month with the front going in December, then dentures for the new year.
If he can't brush then he should at least use some sort of mouthwash for germs.
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