Why are people so shady here? (Des Moines, Brooklyn: houses, neighborhood, school)

[smpliving]

Originally Posted by Meemur

There's a strong work ethic in our culture. I remember going around to farms in NW Ohio gathering hay for Iowa farmers during one of the droughts, and I remember crying tears of joy when I spotted one of the big conveys of trucks from Iowa rolling into the staging area, carrying hay to our farmers during one of the droughts.

When Iowa City was flooding, people were descending on the city to help fill sand bags and pass out water and sandwiches, not to cause trouble. I was one of the coordinators getting vans and gas to get Ohio volunteers out there.

It takes awhile to build friendships in the Midwest, but once they are forged, they are strong. These are the people you can depend on to care for your family while you're in the hospital, and you'll gladly do the same.

Work is one of the elements that binds us.

I'm not articulating this well, but it's one of the reasons I stay in the Midwest.

Originally Posted by atler8

Memur,
You made your point well enough so no apologies are necessary.

Originally Posted by Tek_Freek

I've lived here my entire life. I've never met a stranger. I don't care what you look like or how you talk. If you're a nice person we're going to have a conversation. It's rare that I ever meet anyone that won't talk to me.

And I meet people like me constantly. At the bar, in an elevator, waiting to walk at a red light, standing in line at a checkout in the store. I've had people tell me, "I see you've never met a stranger, either." We are everywhere.

Where, exactly are these unfriendly people? I'm 65 and I have no problems talking with people of any age.

I am always surprised when I read these types of posts - about any location. I'm the same way when we travel and I always meet great people simply because I take the time to talk to them. A smile and, "Hello" is all it takes.

All very excellent posts and very true. Work ethic ... amazing here. Friendliness ... when I first moved here from California, I was blown away by the friendly people here ... not too over friendly, but polite and easy to make conversation. Being from California, at first I thought they had an alternative motive. Once you make friends here, these people are there for you in hard times. I know that from personal experience when I became a single divorced mother with 2 middle school-aged kids. They may be a little reserve at first, but man, they are true friends when hard times hit. They dont just talk, but walk the talk.

I take a van pool to work daily. We have a woman from Ethopia who fled her country, 2 from India, and another from somewhere in the Mideast. They wear apparel from their native countries ... no one gives a second thought to it.

[camille563]

Experiences are different for everyone but for me people don't get me. I'm hispanic and come from a different way of life, and from personal experiences people are very judgmental of my opinions and way of life. The midwest isn't cut out for everyone.

[Tek_Freek]

Originally Posted by camille563

Experiences are different for everyone but for me people don't get me. I'm hispanic and come from a different way of life, and from personal experiences people are very judgmental of my opinions and way of life. The midwest isn't cut out for everyone.

I wouldn't be. I'd rather learn about your culture and the differences between us. I always find that even though peoples backgrounds are different most want the same things out of life. Of course, if your in my face about it, I'll back off. That's not being "shady", that's not appreciating aggressiveness.

[Dport7674]

Iowa is different from Miami?

[Tek_Freek]

Where's the sarcasm font?

[Henry10]

I think the only one judgmental here is the OP. People are people. As long as they don't have any horns, so show respect, some common courtesy, and you'll get along fine. They only bad Iowans are the Illinois cops. Why do they pull you over at 2 am coming off the bar? What's their point?

[camille563]

Originally Posted by Dport7674

Iowa is different from Miami?

Yes it's very different!

[camille563]

Originally Posted by Tek_Freek

I wouldn't be. I'd rather learn about your culture and the differences between us. I always find that even though peoples backgrounds are different most want the same things out of life. Of course, if your in my face about it, I'll back off. That's not being "shady", that's not appreciating aggressiveness.

That's very nice I wish more people had that same mentality!

[camille563]

Originally Posted by Henry10

I think the only one judgmental here is the OP. People are people. As long as they don't have any horns, so show respect, some common courtesy, and you'll get along fine. They only bad Iowans are the Illinois cops. Why do they pull you over at 2 am coming off the bar? What's their point?

I beg to differ! I've never been disrespectful to anyone and people still say ignorant comments

[RC01]

Just because people disagree with you does not mean that they are ignorant. The Midwest, in particular Iowa and Minnesota, have a very reserved culture that always seems to get hated on for being "fake" and "passive aggressive." People always think that people in Iowa and Minnesota are friendly meaning that they will go out of their way to make friends with strangers. This is not true. People are very nice and polite to strangers and may enjoy some small talk, but that's all it is: talk. A lot of outsiders confuse this polite conversation with wanting to be friends which really isn't what the other person has in mind. They are being polite like they were raised. After all, it is Minnesota Nice, not Minnesota Friends.

I love the culture here, and definitely notice it in myself. It's funny when people will apologize to you when you were in the wrong like the other day at the grocery store I had to walk in front of this lady, and we both apologized as I walked in front even though I was clearly the only one who needed to. As far as making friends go, you need to get involved and establish a personal connection with them. You most likely won't become friends with someone you randomly meet out on the street becasue as I've said, that is usually just politeness. You need to do activities like volunteering or joining various groups around your area. Like others have said, once you work on something with a midwesterner for a while, you'll probably be friends for life. I don't make friends often, but like others have said, when I do, we are usually best friends for life. I know my friends would do anything for me and I would do anything for them.

I just don't see why it is always us Midwesterners with the problem. Uff da I'm done

And just to add: Even though I'm referencing Minnesota a lot, I'm pretty sure the same holds true for Iowa.