‘I feel un-American. My appliances are 20 years old. I shop in thrift stores’: My wife wants a nicer place to live.

[GoodHombre]

The problem isn't the debt thing, the problem is the guy doesn't make much money.

[selhars]

Originally Posted by petch751

My uncle had this fear and saved every penny he could. He also did this and his house is a disgrace. The conditions are deplorable. Never eat out of his fridge, you don't know how old the food is. The stove, ugh! He never married because he said women like to spend money. We say God wouldn't do that to a woman.

He worried that people were trying to steal from him. He is 90 years old now, he is very depressed and miserable, and says he should have lived a better life. But hey, he has his money!

Think about somebody else, not just about your money.

Most of those things are not frugality issues....
Do you mean the stove and house are old?...or filthy? If they're old an still work and are not in such disrepair to be dangerous or a hazard, who cares?
If they're in decent condition, but just filthy...THAT is not a frugality issue.

If family members know to double check the food dates because he keeps things that expire, then just don't eat at house when you visit. (or check the dates before hand) Again, him keeping expired food may or may not be a frugality or economic/money issue for him.

Why is he depressed and miserable?...is it because looking back he realizes he didn't enjoy life as much as he could have? Well, family members can visit him and try to cheer his spirits and make him see he has lived the life he wanted, he is loved, and and those were decisions he made then, so dwelling on them now is pointless. Go forward and spend the money now.... Hey if you can't spend more money when you're 90...when will you?

[oceangaia]

Originally Posted by MinivanDriver

There's a difference between being frugal and being a cheap bastard who is afraid of his own fiscal shadow.

My wife and I are frugal. We have saved beyond the seven digit mark in retirement savings, downsized into a 1,400 sf condo, and drive base model cars.

Same here. I will try to stretch a dollar but I'm not seeing the point of going through life living like a pauper so that, I don't know, so you don't have to live like a pauper? I guess life won't get more miserable if you're alreasy as miserable as can be.

I'm a lot less frugal than I used to be. When younger, I would see co-workers buying new trucks and eating out for lunch everyday while I drove an old car and brought sandwiches from home. I used to think "oh they're spending over their means and have a mountain of debt and will regret it one day". Well from my view they never regretted it. They may have had the debt but somehow they dealt with it. Sink or swim can be a great motivator to swim. Sometimes the best solution to budget issues is to bring in more money not spend less.

Ultimately, we have one life to live and the goal - in my opinion - is to enjoy it as much as possible. Life is uncertain. You could lose your job next month. Or get hit by a bus. Do make some basic contingency plans but don't expect an ironclad guarantee of security. We all draw the line in a different place but if you're having marital issues over it then you've drawn it in the wrong place.