Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Every time I go to a Southern State I am impressed with how friendly most of the people are. When I go back home and tell people about it, the common statement is that the friendliness down South is not real. I am told the friendliness is actually a form of passive aggressive behavior and instead the people really do not like me but were told by their parents to act polite and friendly to everyone. In reality, they are talking nasty about me behind my back as soon as I leave.
No way!!! how can it possibly be fake?! Waitresses that hug their customers occasionally, women that love company and are willing to flash themselves, people waving at me as they drive by, there is no way in the world that southern hospitality can possibly be fake!
Speaking from experience as a southerner, nope. It is too difficult to harbor that many grudges and much easier to be friendly until you actually do something to tick me off.
Since most people tend to think that everyone thinks the way they do, I would be more worried about the people giving me those warnings about fake friendliness than I would be about the southerners.
As I was taught, southern hospitality is only supposed to be skin-deep. It governs how you're supposed to treat acquaintances and strangers, not how you treat your friends. It comes in very handy in the business world, if you ask me.
There's definitely a stereotype that southern people like to gossip. It may be true, but it may just be a small town thing.
Quote:
I am told the friendliness is actually a form of passive aggressive behavior and instead the people really do not like me but were told by their parents to act polite and friendly to everyone.
If they didn't like you, yes that is probably how things would go. However, I don't think that southern hospitality would influence them to not like you.
I don't know. Do Virginians seem that way?
------------------------------
I notice that once you get to Richmond the Southern Feel starts. I live in Northern Va which as all the charm of New Jersey. Northern VA is not the South.
Since I've moved to the South, I've seen too many people getting trash-talked behind their backs to think that Southerners are more friendly or hospitable. I've come to the conclusion that Southern hospitality is more of a learned action than anything else. You know how when you say to someone, "Hi, how are you?" and they answer "Fine." But in actuality, you don't really care about their present state too much nor do you want them to go into great detail about how they are. It's just something that you say on auto-pilot to be genial? That's how I think of hospitality in the South. I wouldn't call it fake-friendly, it's just a different type of culture. Lots of time when people say "thank you" or "ma'am" or "sir," I think they are just on auto-pilot because that's what they've been saying their whole lives and that's what their parents have been saying their whole lives and etc. I don't think they necessarily feel such overwhelming respect for a person to call him/her sir/ma'am, they just say it because that's what they always say and that's what they're told they are supposed to do.
I don't know. Do Virginians seem that way?
------------------------------
I notice that once you get to Richmond the Southern Feel starts. I live in Northern Va which as all the charm of New Jersey. Northern VA is not the South.
You're from NoVa? I agree, most Northern Virginians are not Southerners.
As to your OP, I'm guessing that a lot of the "fake-friendliness" claims come from people who feel that the friendliness is mostly a means toward a end. Think of the employee who rushes over to "help" a suspicious-seeming customer or the cop who asks the idlers on the sidewalk how they are. A local who chats with a visitor might only be attempting to determine that person's intentions in their town/ state. And someone who drops in on a neighbor might be after a juicy item to share with the others.
I grew up in the south and lived in the midwest for years. If by friendly you mean extroverted and more open with others including strangers, then yeah southerners are definetly more friendly and it's not an act.
People down south are much more likely to strike up a conversation, give a greeting, or just smile than people up North and I don't think it's because they necessarily have some kind of alterior motive it just comes natural in most settings.
Does that mean southerners are incapable of being rude, gossipy, talk about someone behind their back etc. Ofcourse not.
Some southerners are even downright rude, but I find it's much easier to talk a rude southerner into showing some manners and even get an apology than to get that same result from a rude northerner.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
