Unable to handle a two year old. (parents, kids, child)
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Am I the only grandparent that sees the younger generation unable to cope with their children? I raised two sons. I was a stay at home mom, but I did all the things the working moms could not. My husband and I coached soccer, ran the cub scouts, volunteered at the school....we did it all.
Now I see my kids unable to do everyday tasks because of the kids. My son does put in a full week, with much stress. DIL works but is home early on some days. Today I am asked to come over and watch GS for a few minutes while mom has to pick out paint color for their house. I will gladly do it, but come on. You can't handle a toddler for five minutes to say "OK, that color".
She probably just want a moment to think straight without a toddler present. If you're in close proximity she probably figures that you don't mind. Since you do mind then it's up to you to put a stop to it.
No, I would not say that your own grown children are an accurate reflection of all parents today at all.
Based on your description of their upbringing, perhaps it would have been better had mommy & daddy not done so much for them their entire lives, as is it seems now that is what they just expect.
The vast majority of posters will not agree with you. But in truth, I do. People have an OVER blown opinion of little kid's needs and an UNDER blown understanding of their capability. If baby cries, then they freak. We all do it with our first newborn. But the idea that eventually Mom and Dad realize that they have been a bit freaky has gone by the by. The idea that a child of 2 needs constant affirmation from someone is nuts.
Yes to posts 2 and 3. That's exactly what she needs. Clear headed decision making without interruptions every five seconds, the kid getting into everything. I have four small kids and I HATE taking them shopping. Slows me down. Sure, if I had one, I could teach them simple things like comparison shopping (looking for lowest price per ounce, or buying larger sizes for economy of scale) if I am on a mission, then having a attention demanding two year old around is a huge challenge.
Yes to posts 2 and 3. That's exactly what she needs. Clear headed decision making without interruptions every five seconds, the kid getting into everything.
That is the point, I guess. As one establishes the family, as the parent who is responsible for setting expectations, interruptions every five seconds is not necessary. "Mommy is busy right now". And if kid persists, leave. But many parents these days think that baby NEEDS Mamma's attention every time they pester or the kid is going to break.
My wife and I do a great job raising our three kids, including the youngest with special needs. (pats self on back, lol) However, we do rely a lot upon the fact that we have two sets of active and engaged grandparents. There are times my wife and I will call her mom (who lives close to us) to come over and sit with the kids so we can go grocery shopping. Can we take the kids shopping with us? Absolutely, we do it all the time. I've taken all three, my wife has taken all three. Could we just take some of them? Sure, do that all the time too.
So, why do we ask her mom to sit for something so mundane? Well, with three kids to raise and shuttle between school and activities and me working fulltime (my wife is a SAHM), we don't get much downtime. Money isn't exactly abundant either, so we don't really go out much. As lame as it sounds, going grocery shopping without the kids is a break and kind of a "date" for us.
I would assume that it's not a situation where your DIL is incapable of taking care of her child while picking out a paint color, but that she maybe just needs a little break.
Am I the only grandparent that sees the younger generation unable to cope with their children? I raised two sons. I was a stay at home mom, but I did all the things the working moms could not. My husband and I coached soccer, ran the cub scouts, volunteered at the school....we did it all.
Now I see my kids unable to do everyday tasks because of the kids. My son does put in a full week, with much stress. DIL works but is home early on some days. Today I am asked to come over and watch GS for a few minutes while mom has to pick out paint color for their house. I will gladly do it, but come on. You can't handle a toddler for five minutes to say "OK, that color".
I agree with you. Many parents don't want to cope...they can't be bothered. They would rather be texting their friends, talking on the phone, etc. It's pathetic.
They will quickly stop having to ask grandparents to help out here and there for the little things if grandparents said "no".
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