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and then to cancel over a dog, that is where I am being critical.
This person is not a dog lover so there is no way he could ever understand a person who loves their dog.
I am just posting to say, when my dogs were dying? I was not in my right mind, totally devastated and brokenhearted. Wanting to be there with them constantly because I knew I was their COMFORT.
It is just a fact, a dog lover has such a heart towards their dog that it would take more than helping out with a new baby to make them leave their dying dog. The dog is in your heart and you are in the dog's heart, how could you just leave and let him die all alone without knowing you are there?
He will never be back again.
The grandchildren are very lucky to have a grandmother with such a big heart to put her life on hold, so her dog can die knowing she would never leave him.
I side with the original poster. Forgive me if I am ugly, but she "cries and cries" over a dog? As Jerry Clower once said of the response from a person who he had thought was crying over a dog: "man I ain't that crazy."
You obviously never had a pet that you adored. They are family. And yes, I cried over a pet I lost more than family members. The reason is, the pet is there with you all the time. It's a huge loss.
This person is not a dog lover so there is no way he could ever understand a person who loves their dog.
I am just posting to say, when my dogs were dying? I was not in my right mind, totally devastated and brokenhearted. Wanting to be there with them constantly because I knew I was their COMFORT.
It is just a fact, a dog lover has such a heart towards their dog that it would take more than helping out with a new baby to make them leave their dying dog. The dog is in your heart and you are in the dog's heart, how could you just leave and let him die all alone without knowing you are there?
He will never be back again.
The grandchildren are very lucky to have a grandmother with such a big heart to put her life on hold, so her dog can die knowing she would never leave him.
I have 4 grandchildren with one on the way. If one of my dogs were sick I would be with my dog. I love my dogs to the ends of the world and they are 100% dependent on me. My adult children are just that adults. Sometimes life is just hard and having small children is hard and tiring I understand that. Somehow you make it through those years with or without help.
I can empathize with your situation completely. My mother I law, I swear, got a dog simply to have an excuse never to leave the house again. I had my daughter 3 years ago, and my little boy is only 5 months old. Family is extremely important to me, so for years I fought with the in laws on proper interaction with grandchildren. They have seen my daughter once in her life, and there is no talk of seeing the boy anytime soon. The claim is that said dog whimpers whenever left alone, therefore they have resorted to supplying her with a dose of Prozac to ward off the depression. They have installed cameras to watch the dog if the situation ever calls for them to be out of the house together. The one time they left overnight (to attend my daughters christening), they enlisted reliable sources to live at their house and report on the moods of the dog. When my daughter was brought home from the hospital on a Saturday at night, they spent 3-4 minutes each holding her, and Sunday morning, did not hesitate to leave before the baby woke up, because the dog might face unspeakable emotional distress.
I've heard it all, and truthfully, I think picking your animal over your grandchildren is a sign of mental instability, so you are better off accepting the excuses and counting your losses. Make some new friends or find an older lady with an actual heart that lives close by to give your children the experience of grandma. It doesn't have to be family, and you should never beg for anyone to be in your kids life
I have a dog..I love my dog, she is part of our family.
I have children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. I love them even more than I love my dog and they will always come first.
Other people can take care of my sick dog if I have to be there for my children or grandchildren. I will worry about my dog while I am gone, but as I said..my real, human, flesh of my flesh family comes first.
I can empathize with your situation completely. My mother I law, I swear, got a dog simply to have an excuse never to leave the house again. I had my daughter 3 years ago, and my little boy is only 5 months old. Family is extremely important to me, so for years I fought with the in laws on proper interaction with grandchildren. They have seen my daughter once in her life, and there is no talk of seeing the boy anytime soon. The claim is that said dog whimpers whenever left alone, therefore they have resorted to supplying her with a dose of Prozac to ward off the depression. They have installed cameras to watch the dog if the situation ever calls for them to be out of the house together. The one time they left overnight (to attend my daughters christening), they enlisted reliable sources to live at their house and report on the moods of the dog. When my daughter was brought home from the hospital on a Saturday at night, they spent 3-4 minutes each holding her, and Sunday morning, did not hesitate to leave before the baby woke up, because the dog might face unspeakable emotional distress.
I've heard it all, and truthfully, I think picking your animal over your grandchildren is a sign of mental instability, so you are better off accepting the excuses and counting your losses. Make some new friends or find an older lady with an actual heart that lives close by to give your children the experience of grandma. It doesn't have to be family, and you should never beg for anyone to be in your kids life
Maybe they just don't like kids? Not everyone....even parents and grandparents do....and there is nothing that says they have to. and certainly not that they are mentally ill because they don't .
Yes ....it"s not the perfect family meme you expected and I get that most new parents can't imagine anything more perfect than their child and why someone wouldn't feel the same way that they do.........but if they aren't actually abusing you or your daughter....just chalk it up to them not being that interested and go on with your life..
{snip} I've heard it all, and truthfully, I think picking your animal over your grandchildren is a sign of mental instability, so you are better off accepting the excuses and counting your losses. Make some new friends or find an older lady with an actual heart that lives close by to give your children the experience of grandma. It doesn't have to be family, and you should never beg for anyone to be in your kids life
And:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Blue
I have a dog..I love my dog, she is part of our family.
I have children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. I love them even more than I love my dog and they will always come first.
Other people can take care of my sick dog if I have to be there for my children or grandchildren. I will worry about my dog while I am gone, but as I said..my real, human, flesh of my flesh family comes first.
Amen.
On one hand I say "I don't mean to be ugly" etc, but in a way, maybe I do, and maybe it's actually appropriate anyway.
It is SICK to equate your pet as being as important as the people in your life, especially the important ones. I get it that you feel a bond and such with your pet that you won't feel with strangers (although I still say all humans are more important than any animal regardless), I get it that pets never leave, I get it that pets don't judge, I get it that pets never ask anything of you, stay cute, on and on. There is a love for them that you feel. That's fine.
They still aren't people, and they sure as heck aren't as important as people.
We have 2 dogs, 4 cats, and we had 2 bunnies who died. My wife liked that 1 bunny especially and was sad to see it die. However, her reaction was NOTHING like the gut-wrenching heartache and agony that I'd seen had one of our CHILDREN been hurt, or even when she heard last year that her grandmother who lived over 1,500 miles from here had died. It's because animals aren't as important as people, to those with BRAINS anyway.
Now, that doesn't mean I always judge people harshly in situations like this. A couple of years ago a good friend of mine was supposed to join us on vacation but didn't because a dog of his became ill and he spent money for its care. It didn't offend me at all. It wasn't that he couldn't bare to leave it, it was a money issue--had he had enough money to have it treated AND go on our trip he'd done both. He didn't have enough to do both. I was totally understanding with him.
Still, in the overall sense, you're supposed to make the PEOPLE in your life first. Always. It doesn't mean you can't have both necessarily, but you still shouldn't make a human being in your life feel like they matter less than the dog.
My husband and I had our 2nd baby 3 weeks ago. He is the cutest! Anyway, my parents live an hour drive from us. My husband's parents are a 4 hr plane ride away. For our first baby, my mother drove to stay with us 3 nights every week for the first month after baby came. She would help with the baby, cook a couple meals, and so on.
Well, a few days after our 2nd was born, my mother found out her dog is sick and could have cancer. She panicked and canceled on us very last minute. The dog needs medicine and has to be taken care of. She did not seem sympathetic at all and will not allow anyone else to take care of the dog for a couple days. Not the veterinarian, hospital, my father, family, etc. She's been saying maybe next week will be better, but then cancels again. She emails me how awful the dog is doing, how she cries and cries.
My husband and I are stressed because we are doing this all on our own and we're so tired. Plus, I'm still recovering. We feel she chose her dog over her family in need. I don't know what to think. I told her how sorry are but is there anyone to take care of the dog part time, 2 or 3 days per week? She refuses to let anyone help and has come up with every excuse possible. She wants to do it.
Do people love their pets over family? Any grandparents out there that can give advice?
This thread is several months old, but...I would put my dog first for sure, if my daughter had her second child, had a husband there, and was mentally competent.
In fact, I would likely really pull back having contact with a grown child of sound mind who was that entitled. Get a grip. I feel for the grandkids, with those parents.
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Dog vs. kids
