Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Anyone that is a parent or grandparents - This is a chance to 'air' your views, a chance to speak up and say what you always wanted to but never did. I think of the many times I had to bite my tongue and ignore what I wanted to say. . . So. Feel free to say, "I'm never raising my kid as my parents did." Or "I'll never be that grandmother." Or it can morph into "I won't tolerate that behavior" or "I taught my kids better!"
I learned something from this forum. I never knew food issues were so important.
Anyway, my main complaint is why doesn't this generation ever say thank you? Why do they have to be prompted? When my kids were little we got out the crayons and wrote out a note and added pictures. I can't tell you how happy those made my mom, my kid's grandmother. And the situation is so bad now we don't even know if the gifts arrived. Or if they arrived on time. 'Did you get the gift?' 'Yeah.' . . . Well good. And on to the discussion and . . . No 'Thank You'! Or better yet, I ask the recipient and they are vague like they don't know what I'm talking about.
If your kids aren't saying "thank you" for gifts that would seem to be an issue with your particular kids and nothing to do with whatever "generation" they are part of.
It is pretty trivial to snap a pic or two and drop grandma an email or text with the kids playing with the new toy and a short, kind message.
If your kids aren't saying "thank you" for gifts that would seem to be an issue with your particular kids and nothing to do with whatever "generation" they are part of.
It is pretty trivial to snap a pic or two and drop grandma an email or text with the kids playing with the new toy and a short, kind message.
My adult daughter still sends written Thank You notes (usually on hand made cards). Our grandchildren normally open all of their presents while we are watching over Skype. That way we can be "part of the action" during their birthday celebration or on Christmas morning (as they live 2,000 miles away).
Most of my friends who are grandparents also either see the presents being opened (in person or via Skype or Facetime) & have verbal Thank Yous and/or get Thank You notes (sometimes written but often a photograph posted to social media with a comment about thanks).
Never getting a thank you is one topic I brought up. I blame the grandkids parents and yes, I taught my son better. Thank you isn't in my grand kids vocabulary. I don't get it, either.
I started this thread open ended so any topic can be brought up.
Another I had was when I was a young mother and my mom pushed cloth diapers on me. She got me a diaper service for my first born - Which was wonderful - And it lasted for a month or so. But after that my mom pushed that cloth diapers are better than disposable on me every chance she got. It was worse in person. Her views were so strong I caved and went cloth. At least the first year of our son's life.
It wasn't until we had some of her friends over at my parents and I was changing my sons diaper every half hour and those friends commenting on it that my mom finally got it. They made comments about how often I had to change his diaper (diaper rash is no joke) and somehow I learned to stand up to her. I had bit my lip enough and finally talked it over with her. Times have changed since the late 50's when she had me in diapers. Sure it's an expense to have disposable. But for me, at that time in my life, and with my other kids, disposable were the way to go. The best thing about this whole situation was I paved the way for my brothers and their wives so my mom wouldn't latch into them and not using cloth diapers. This was HUGE for her.
And this was before all the controversy over landfills and disposable diapers.
Another topic was dealing with in-laws. Whenever we got together with our in-laws they monopolized their son, my husband. They talked about their family, their friends, their news which only he could relate to and I was left sitting there without contributing to the conversation. It got bad enough I'd just disappear and go read in the bedroom.
I realize they're happy to see their son and catch him up on all the family and neighbor news. But I don't know those people. His parents had lived in the same house, he was born there. It's a small farming community. Of course everyone knows everyone's business. My husband said he really didn't care about what everyone else is doing and he knew how ostracized I felt.
This was one case of 'I'd never do that'. And I haven't. I know how hurtful it is. It got so bad with my husbands sisters and their talking over me about topics I can't contribute to that . . . . My husband told me if I don't want to see his sisters or visit them with him that I don't have to. He saw exactly how I was treated after I did tell him but he didn't believe me. Well, proof was there and he supported me in whatever I decided. And that was fine with me.
since any topic can be brought up in this thread, just wanted to mention something grandparent-related which the thread title reminds me of...
The other day, I found out through social media that my daughter's paternal grandmother (I'll call this woman "Laura") has been diagnosed with lung cancer. (don't know any details right now)
I'm not sure whether or not say anything to my daughter about this, because "Laura" has never really been a grandmother to her, and they're pretty much strangers......I think my daughter's been around maybe five times at the most.
since any topic can be brought up in this thread, just wanted to mention something grandparent-related which the thread title reminds me of...
The other day, I found out through social media that my daughter's paternal grandmother (I'll call this woman "Laura") has been diagnosed with lung cancer. (don't know any details right now)
I'm not sure whether or not say anything to my daughter about this, because "Laura" has never really been a grandmother to her, and they're pretty much strangers......I think my daughter's been around maybe five times at the most.
I'm sorry to hear about "Laura" and her diagnosis. I probably would tell your daughter and just let her decide what to do.
On the topic of things that irritated me was the women who tried to make me feel like a crappy mother because I didn't breastfeed. I had postpartum depression to begin with and even the nurses and medical assistants at my doctor's office are telling me that I should be breastfeeding because it is much better for the baby and I'll regret it.
I'm really lucky. My kids' grandparents are the best ever. We had some differences around meals and car seats when my first born was small. But they very gracefully accepted my approach. Breastfeeding was one of the issues, actually. They did not like it because they did not do it. Ah well.
In general, my big thing is to respect our rules. That includes food, car safety, what they watch on TV, etc.
The other thing is when grandparents say to the grandchildren, "You can/are going to stay with us this Summer," or something similar. Or, "Grammy and Grandpa are going to take you to XYZ this summer." You get the picture. That is NOT a child's decision to make. Unless you have made these arrangements with the parents, you are basically using the children to undermine the parents. It's manipulative and a good way to ensure that you don't see them as often as you'd like.
They are NOT your kids.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
