what to do once an estranged parent dies to attend funeral or not?

[Keokischula]

My Mom died on June 28th of this year. She had been living with me and my husband for a year and a half before we found out that she had two major heart problems. On top of this, she was a diabetic, had high blood pressure, arthritis, a narcissist, and she was in the middle stages of Alzheimer's, I believe. Now, my Mom was 80 years old and liked to drink practically every day. When we found out that she had these heart problems, my husband told her he wasn't going to buy her any more beer. Of course, she got angry and called my baby sister. She came to the house, left, and came back with a six-pack of beer. When my husband told my baby sister about my mom's heart problems, she was surprised because my mom hadn't told her about her heart problems, but, she still left the beer! It wasn't long before my Mom took me off of her contact list and replaced me with my nephew, gave me the evilest smile I have ever seen because she knew she had upset me, called me an ugly name, which I will refrain from elaborating and we began to be threatened with APS or Adult Protective Services. After everything, we did for her from taking her to appointments, taking her to therapy for her shoulder because she broke it prior to moving in with us, being there for her when she had surgery, taking her to run her errands, taking her to dental appointments, taking care of her at our home after surgery and I did some things I would have rather not do, if you know what I mean, etc. We felt very unappreciated, manipulated, angry, and sad that she had chosen to repay us in this manner. We had no choice but to tell her that she was going to have to move somewhere else. She was leaving the water running, she couldn't determine day from night, so, this concerned us. We don't believe that she was ever diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Well, she moved out in Jan. 2017 and 5 months passed when I found out that she had been living in a senior apartment living establishment all alone! I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters, all younger than me and not one of them took her in! Plus, not even the nephew that she replaced me with took her in! Needless to say, I didn't go to my Mom's funeral, but, not because I wanted revenge in any way, shape, or form like my siblings think. I asked myself, "What good is going to do you? What good is it going to do her?" We knew my siblings were going to put on a show for everyone else to see. Besides, you can always grieve the way you want to without prying eyes staring at you. We don't regret not attending and we, certainly, don't feel guilty as my siblings think we should. My Mom hated me for telling her doctor about her drinking, so much so, that I believe she got me sick from beyond the grave. I would spend 3 days in the hospital for chest pains, which, thank God turned out to be a bad case of depression and anxiety.My youngest daughter told us that she died due to her blood pressure, suddenly, taking a nose dive, but, I don't believe this is the truth.None of my siblings called me to tell me she was in the hospital. We had to hear the news of her death from my youngest and it wasn't her burden to bear. My belief is that she had a heart attack. You can guess as to why my siblings would tell my daughter a lie about how her grandmother died. My advice to you is just this. Do what you feel is right for you and no one else. Don't let anyone try to coerce you into attending or not. Thank you for reading.