Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Every Friday night in shul, my Rav gives a 10-15 interactive halacha shiur (class) between Kabbalah Shabbos and Maariv. He generally ties it into the weekly parsha, but this class is built around real shailos (halachic questions) that were posed, answered and recorded - in most cases during our lifetimes.
Here was this past week's:
A non religious Jewish man is sitting with his father on his father's death bed. His father's dying request of his son is that he say Kaddish every day for a year, in shul in a minyan, when he passes away. The father then passes away.
So the son finds an Orthodox shul, meets the rabbi and then begins attending minyan, morning and night. A few weeks into this journey of saying Kaddish for his father, the Rav notices that each day, the man is only showing up to shul for the final 5 minutes of davening, saying Kaddish for his father, and then heading out to work. So the Rav very nicely confronts the man and asks what gives.
The man responds that he only obligated himself to say Kaddish for his father, and not to lay tefillin. The Rabbi politely reminds him that he has a Torah obligation to put on his tefillin each morning and to say Shema. The man replies to the Rav, that "I only have 5-10 minutes to devote to minyan. I can either fulfill my pledge to my father, or lay tefillin, but not both. What would you have me do?"
So what do you think the answer to the shaila was? What should it have been?
So what do you think the answer to the shaila was? What should it have been?
Tefillin and Shema, as it's a D'eoraisah. Also, the will of Hashem triumphs over his father's will. Then, his father in shamayim, who now experiences the truth, realizes that Tefillin is more valuable than Kaddish.
Last edited by iwishiwerethin; 02-02-2014 at 05:06 PM..
Tefillin and Shema, as it's a D'eoraisah. Also, the will of Hashem triumphs over his father's will. Then, his father in shamayim, who now experiences the truth, realizes that Tefillin is more valuable than Kaddish.
Good answer. And all correct. But could there be more to it?
Good answer. And all correct. But could there be more to it?
More, in what sense?
Tefillin-D'eoraisah
Shema-D'eoraisah
Kibbud Av V'eim-D'eoraisah (father's wish)
Kaddish-D'rabonon
Tefillin and Shema trump the will of the father who is asking his son for a D'rabonon. If the father were alive, he must choose Tefillin and Shema over Kaddish.
You're totally correct, Iwish. At least if you asked a Rosh Yeshiva the question, that's surely the answer you'd get. But the question was asked of a posek, not a Rosh Yeshiva. A posek generally will be a shul rabbi who deals with Jews of all levels of observance. Perhaps that's a clue?
BTW, where are all our illustrious Jewish companions tonight. Surely they are not watching the Super Bowl? Let's learn.
The pledge you made to your father was made under duress and, in my opinion, is not binding.
The question is, how do you want to live the rest of your life? You are a Jew, and I hope you want to practice your faith in the manner that is suitable for you.
If you want to be an Orthodox Jew, I can help you learn what you need to do. If not, you may want to join one of the other branches of Judaism.
All branches of our faith teach us to be good people and to do good deeds. If you follow those teachings and pass them along to your children, then you will be the kind of man any father would be proud of.
Mainstream Orthodox rabbis do not view the other branches of Judaism as valid forms of Judaism. To Orthodox Jews, Reform and Conservative Judaism might as well be Islam or Zoroastrianism. Orthodox Judaism believes that all Jews (i.e. those born to a Jewish mother or who had an Orthodox conversion) are obligated to follow the 613 mitzvot (commandments) as understood by Orthodox Jewish tradition, whether or not they personally believe in Orthodox Judaism or not. An Orthodox rabbi would never tell a secular or atheist Jew to do something against the Orthodox understanding of halacha, therefore it makes sense that the Orthodox rabbi would tell the Jewish man that if he had to choose, it is better to put on the tefillin and say the shema than to honor his father by saying the kaddish.
Okay. The posek would advise the son to put on tefillin and say Shema, and he would recite the Kaddish (or get someebody else to) instead of the son who had no time.
This is not the final answer. I'll give that tomorrow. But the posek maybe should have refused to answer the shaila. It is not a posek's obligation to take on gehinnom for the Jew who says he only has five minutes a day for shul. Did that Jew really mean to say he only has five minutes a day for Hashem, and that his work, his morning coffee, his "fill in the blank" is really more important than his relationship with Hashem?
There's a kiruv element that the posek considered here when he gave his psak.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
