very confused (Las Vegas: home, neighborhood, middle school)

misshome · 11-14-2006, 08:03 PM

I could really use some help in making a decision.We moved to las vegas 16months ago.We have 3 children,all in school here. It really takes alot to get used to. I'm from a small town in Ohio. So this is very scary here. The crazy drivers here are unbeliveable. But i'm getting used to it.My children really want to move back home. We miss the snow, the fall, and the small town feel.But my husband has a better job here. To be honest the people we have met here are all really great. People here seem to be more friendly and outgoing. I hear you should give it at least 2 years until it starts to feel like home. Is this about right? Or if i'm not used to it by now maybe it just isn't for us?

olecapt · 11-14-2006, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misshome

I could really use some help in making a decision.We moved to las vegas 16months ago.We have 3 children,all in school here. It really takes alot to get used to. I'm from a small town in Ohio. So this is very scary here. The crazy drivers here are unbeliveable. But i'm getting used to it.My children really want to move back home. We miss the snow, the fall, and the small town feel.But my husband has a better job here. To be honest the people we have met here are all really great. People here seem to be more friendly and outgoing. I hear you should give it at least 2 years until it starts to feel like home. Is this about right? Or if i'm not used to it by now maybe it just isn't for us?

A tale that might apply...might not but Vegas needs to keep all its nice folk.

When we moved to California from Rochester NY we had two children who had lived in CA before and one who had no real memories of it. She was a fourth grader when we went to CA. She had been a very happy child in Rocherster but refused to adjust to CA. Pined to go home to Rochester. After a year we sent her. She went back to stay a month with a friend whose parents were good friends of ours. Came back after a month and never again mentioned going back to Rochester.

Her experience was you really can't go back. It is not the same. You change, they change, the places change and your views change.

On the other hand if Vegas does not begin to feel like home ...Leave. Life is to short to suffer for the hell of it. There is enough pain. Don't volunteer.

Do the right thing.

RedWingsFan · 11-15-2006, 09:51 AM

I agree with Olecapt. You have to agree to giving it a certain amount of time to see if it's going to work out. You have to really look at the reasons why you moved there and what you left behind. Make a list of the pros/cons of each place. Your kids will become more comfortable WHEN YOU do! If they see their parents not settling in and feeling at home and embracing the city, then nor will they. If they see you making it home and not talking about moving back then they will follow in line with that.

I would say to give it until the two year mark, but really stop talking about "back home"... if you are doing that then you aren't giving your new place a fair chance. Then re-evaluate at the two year mark and see if you all still feel the same way and go from there with your decision.

But you have to stop talking about "back home" so much. That keeps the kids focused on it and the possibility/hope/chance of going back. Start putting your focus and attention on where you are and building a life there. Try that for six months and see how their attitude (and yours) changes. You might end up liking it.

On a side note... I just moved away from Vegas after living there for over 9 years. I never got used to living there and never grew to love it. It's a city where many people come and go from, very transient. People that move there often times don't stay. For whatever that's worth. :-)

misshome · 11-15-2006, 11:33 AM

thank you for your advice. i did send my oldest daughter home for the summer and it only made her want to move back even more. i was hoping that when she went back things would look different and she would like las vegas better, but it back fired.she actually has some really nice friends that she has met here. better than the ones from home, i just hope in time she'll feel differently.she tells me the more i keep her here the more she hates it. she really hates the middle school she attends. it is way bigger and full of bad kids. she's not use to that,since we lived in a small town.

RedWingsFan · 11-15-2006, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misshome

thank you for your advice. i did send my oldest daughter home for the summer and it only made her want to move back even more. i was hoping that when she went back things would look different and she would like las vegas better, but it back fired.she actually has some really nice friends that she has met here. better than the ones from home, i just hope in time she'll feel differently.she tells me the more i keep her here the more she hates it. she really hates the middle school she attends. it is way bigger and full of bad kids. she's not use to that,since we lived in a small town.

Yes, sending her home turned out to not be so good. Why not tell them that you guys are giving it a 2 or 3 year committment, no matter what and that if at the end of it they don't like it you all can talk about moving. But they would know that the discussion is not open ended and you won't change your mind before that time frame.

By the way, I spent two years substituting in all the middle and high schools in the valley, what middle school is it that she goes to?

misshome · 11-20-2006, 06:23 PM

RedWingsFan- we live in the so called new southwest part of town in a gated community.I read another one of your posts that stated your husband liked vegas better than you did. That is my situation also. Where did you move to?Are you happy now that you're out of crazy Las Vegas?

RedWingsFan · 11-20-2006, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misshome

RedWingsFan- we live in the so called new southwest part of town in a gated community.I read another one of your posts that stated your husband liked vegas better than you did. That is my situation also. Where did you move to?Are you happy now that you're out of crazy Las Vegas?

We moved to Florida and we like it here so far. For me I never cared for Vegas right from the start. My husband always liked it. If it weren't him not thinking it was a good place to raise kids he probably would have convinced me to stay a while longer. Some people really like it, people all have different tastes.

I like the SW area of town, you are probably in a pretty nice area. I like the area of Southern Highlands and we almost bought a tri-level home there back a few years ago.

Don't get too caught up on the whole gated neighborhood thing. They just provide a false sense of security. Everyone can still get in (just follow in cars, walk in, etc.), besides the criminal might live in that community! :-) Seriously though, I used to work for a homebuilder there in Vegas and they used make jokes about people thinking it provides them security. It really doesn't provide any security.

Where did you guys move to Vegas from? Why did you move there? That might make a big difference. We moved there from Michigan and only did so for an adventure/change. While young and single it was fine, we had fun. Although we both knew that once we had kids we wouldn't be staying.

misshome · 11-20-2006, 10:39 PM

Wow, Florida must be a big change. We moved from Ohio, for jobs. My husband is in the food service industry and vegas has plenty of jobs for that. Me i'm just a stay at home mom for right now. I totally agree with you about the gated community.Even though i do feel safer, i know it could just as easily be someone living right next to us. Sometimes i think it's not so bad here,and other times i hate it and just wish i could snap my fingers and be back home in Ohio. I do know one thing for sure and i will not stay here forever. I just can't see myself still here when i'm alot older.

cleosmom · 11-21-2006, 08:22 AM

misshome-

I couldn't help but reply after reading your post. What stuck out is that your husband's job is so much better in NV than back home. My husband and I both moved away from better paying jobs in CA several years ago and don't regret it one bit.

Some times, it's not about the better job, but the better life.

RedWingsFan · 11-21-2006, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misshome

I do know one thing for sure and i will not stay here forever. I just can't see myself still here when i'm alot older.

I was the same exact way. Even though we lived there for a while I always thought of it as something temporary. I couldn't see myself living there for the rest of my life. It was as if I were always waiting until the right time to move away. That just so happened to be two months after giving birth to my second child. Good luck with whatever decision you decide. You have been there over a year and still haven't adjusted. Maybe your heart is back in Ohio and you should follow it.