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Old 09-24-2016, 04:46 PM
 
Location: In the house we finally own!
922 posts, read 794,150 times
Reputation: 4587

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OP, your story took me way, way back to when I was your age. I was invisible to boys, until I got older. Then it was ok to be with me for sex, but not for a relationship. I had guys who would dump me while on a date to go be with one of my friends. I was always the third wheel, the odd girl out. When I went somewhere with a friend, all the guys wanted to be with her, never me. I eventually met someone while doing something I loved. We got married, had a couple of kids, then he cheated on me with a woman from his job. I took the kids and left.

For many years I was alone. A single mom in a sea of couples. It was rough and it hurt. I could never understand why no one could see ME. I finally gave up and decided to just be happy with my life the way it was. That's when I met my 2nd husband, and we are perfect for each other. Neither of us is the prettiest face in the room, but we are to each other.

So here is what I have learned: girls (and guys) your age are shallow. It's not about having a relationship, it's about looking cool. Some people never outgrow this mentality, but a lot of them do. I know you hurt, I know you are lonely. But you are young, and you still have plenty of time. Find something you like to do and do it. Even if you don't meet someone you will still have fun. Don't give up on life, you have so much of it left to enjoy. I am 60 years old, and coming to the end of my years. I spent way too much of my youth looking for happiness outside of myself. Please don't make the same mistake.
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Old 09-24-2016, 05:11 PM
 
Location: Lake Grove
2,752 posts, read 2,764,780 times
Reputation: 4494
Join a martial arts class. Nothing feels better than achieving something positive.
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Old 09-24-2016, 05:15 PM
 
1,504 posts, read 853,120 times
Reputation: 1372
HEY - no matter what I am so thankful for this adventure being granted to me...this miracle called life...It has its ups and downs...its joy and misery...once you understand what it is - Life is a constant joy...It takes wisdom and understanding to enjoy your human existence.

It is wonderful....death is ugly....chose.
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Old 09-24-2016, 06:11 PM
 
Location: West Valley City, Salt Lake City, Utah
53 posts, read 55,052 times
Reputation: 70
I hope you are still around and paying attention, kid, to read these supportive words of advice.

Here's what i have for you, as a 20 year survivor of suicidal ideation, a lifetime of social awkwardness, and not having any self confidence until my late 20s.

Firstly, what you are feeling is very likely a symptom of mental illness. You should try to get some medical care and that will really help you feel better. If you have health insurance problems there are often clinics that can help you without it. Talk to someone and get some help.

Secondly, maximize what you do have and stop thinking about what you don't. Get a great hair cut. Start focusing on dressing well, standing up straight and keeping yourself nice and neat. These things make such a huge difference in appearance, much more so than having perfect features.

Concentrate on how you treat people in general and women in particular. Are you polite? Look women in the eye when speaking? Are you kind and attentive when having conversations? Sometimes being kind to others will help you learn how to be kind to yourself.

Lastly, you have to commit to living. Life is infinitely adjustable. If you hate something, change it. Death is final. There's no coming back from it.
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Old 09-25-2016, 01:55 AM
 
26,143 posts, read 19,872,031 times
Reputation: 17241
Quote:
Originally Posted by SillyWilly123
I hate life. I'm here talking because I don't know what else to do. Why not. I'm not a very good looking guy. I'm the only one I know that doesn't look normal in pictures because of it. But that's not why I'm depressed, no. I'm not a low self esteem dramatic invisul. It's a combination of lots of things, everything as a matter of fact. I can't get a girlfriend. I HATE IT! I can't get a girlfriend, girls do not notice me or pay any attention to me what so ever. I'm not the greatest looking. I have a nice body, toned muscles, but my face is decent if that. If they got to know me I'm a very sweet, caring, nice fun guy but they don't know that. They're too caught up in the world of "popularity" and caring what other people think. That posses me off. All I want is a girl to hold, a girl to be there for, to laugh with, to cuddle with, and share my life with but **** it that's not happening and I recognize that fact. There's much more I could go on about but don't feel like typing anymore. No one will even probably read this. I'm just typing for some reason. And now I'm done. I wish I had the strength to kill myself but not yet. Maybe sometime.
Im sorry you feel this way..... Alot of us dont like a thing of whats become of our world and we feel the same!!!!!!

The world died in the 80s... WE JUST DIDNT SEE IT AS IT WAS HAPPENING VERY SLOW.......
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Old 09-25-2016, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Southern California
29,266 posts, read 16,791,389 times
Reputation: 18910
I'm on this earth going on 8 decades and it's a lot of ups and downs FOR SURE. I don't like a lot of what is happening to society but I deal with what is. Work for the best I can achieve and work not to dwell on the ugly. There is too much good while we are "living". Death is forever.
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Old 09-25-2016, 01:18 PM
 
13,395 posts, read 13,526,989 times
Reputation: 35712
Dude, join meetup.com. Find some interests. You'll find women who share the same interests. Make a friend and see what comes of it.
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Old 09-30-2016, 12:39 AM
 
236 posts, read 259,994 times
Reputation: 293
Sometimes I watch this video to help me put things in perspective. It may be hard to believe, but there are much worse things than being average looking or not having a girlfriend. Also, when you go to college, it will be easier to meet less superficial women -- many of them will be unconcerned with popularity like high school girls are.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eyfa1yR8tx0
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Old 09-30-2016, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Europe
4,692 posts, read 1,169,820 times
Reputation: 924
You can escape from bad thoughts first. Turn to yoga or meditation for example.
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Old 10-01-2016, 12:48 PM
 
710 posts, read 585,605 times
Reputation: 855
I feel the same way. I couldn't attract girls and I was told I was ugly too back in school. It's so frustrating when you think you look nice, you go out smelling good and you also have nice clothes on, and girls STILL don't notice you. I tried OLD and I did get some attention from the women on there but nothing solid. My best advice is to just try your hardest not to care, worrying about it won't make your situation any better. Just try to be the best you that you can be.
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