Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I grew up with a bipolar mother and a depressed father (caused by my mother). It was a mind numbing experience that still haunts me today. Mostly from the isolation in childhood and lack of atypical childhood experiences due erratic nature of BP of my mother. Sadly the mental health industry seems to have virtually ignored the children of the mentally ill. Fortunately, I don’t have BP but struggle with depression at times due having grown up in such a depressing situation. It was difficult growing up and seeing how my friends families loved each other and had positive supportive relationships.
I grew up with a bipolar mother and a depressed father (caused by my mother). It was a mind numbing experience that still haunts me today. Mostly from the isolation in childhood and lack of atypical childhood experiences due erratic nature of BP of my mother. Sadly the mental health industry seems to have virtually ignored the children of the mentally ill. Fortunately, I don’t have BP but struggle with depression at times due having grown up in such a depressing situation. It was difficult growing up and seeing how my friends families loved each other and had positive supportive relationships.
Why are you ashamed? Shame is something we put onto ourselves. You were not responsible for your parents' mental difficulties or the life all of that created for you. Shame can be dealt with. While you cannot change the past, with help you can learn how to put it where it belongs.
I grew up with a bipolar mother and a depressed father (caused by my mother). It was a mind numbing experience that still haunts me today. Mostly from the isolation in childhood and lack of atypical childhood experiences due erratic nature of BP of my mother. Sadly the mental health industry seems to have virtually ignored the children of the mentally ill. Fortunately, I don’t have BP but struggle with depression at times due having grown up in such a depressing situation. It was difficult growing up and seeing how my friends families loved each other and had positive supportive relationships.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia
Why are you ashamed? Shame is something we put onto ourselves. You were not responsible for your parents' mental difficulties or the life all of that created for you. Shame can be dealt with. While you cannot change the past, with help you can learn how to put it where it belongs.
The bolded is true and should be remembered in really bad times which, as we all know, fluctuates.
The "mind-numbing" you mention is one example of brain dysregulation. Many children of mentally ill parents experience a lifetime of unresolved trauma. Fortunately, thre is a plethora of information now, about how to deal with it.
Have you ever seen The Crappy Childhood Fairy on YouTube? She is very good at helping people get over CPTSD, often caused by abuse, neglect, parental dysfunction, etc. I've been watching her off and on for a couple of year. I find her very helpful, having gown up with an emotionally ill abusive mother and cowed father. By cowed I mean, he tried to stay out of the way of her nitpicking and tirades. It caused him to withdraw and turn inward until he finally left after 30 years. I think you will understand her terms like "brain dysregulation."
Another good one is Patrick Teahan. He is very soothing and insightful. Neither of them take sponsors because they don't want the distraction for their viewers. Still another is Therapy in a Nutshell (Emma Adams). All of them understand CPTSD very well and have practical insightful methods. They sometimes do joint videos, and live Q&A.
Online forums can be a bit of a support system one has to be careful for various reasons. All of these creators (plus more) have safe places to share with others going through the same things, get ideas and methods, and experience healing.
I grew up with a bipolar mother and a depressed father (caused by my mother). It was a mind numbing experience that still haunts me today. Mostly from the isolation in childhood and lack of atypical childhood experiences due erratic nature of BP of my mother. Sadly the mental health industry seems to have virtually ignored the children of the mentally ill. Fortunately, I don’t have BP but struggle with depression at times due having grown up in such a depressing situation. It was difficult growing up and seeing how my friends families loved each other and had positive supportive relationships.
I think you suffer from self pity rather than shame. Shame is when you feel guilty about something you did or manifested. You seem full aware to place blame on a society which hasn't helped you.
In any case, they are both low states of consciousness, so almost anything you do going forward can move you up and out of that, so that' something to look forward to.
Neutrality and detachment are concepts I would aim for if I was in your shoes. Hope you can find the tools of "strength, courage, and wisdom" or some other set of tools to not only get this behind you, but to also be able to look back to your past in a constructive and encouraging way.
My past is my foundation upon which I'm proud. You don't want to stare at your past, but it's ok to glance once in a while if your experiences can help others.
So that's probably the key for me; when I get caught up to my own problems, I look ahead to someone I can help and the stuff just disappears.
Edit: Oh shucks. I just now see this thread was bumped up from months ago.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,595,111 times
Reputation: 7618
Quote:
Originally Posted by Muffinpuncher
I grew up with a bipolar mother and a depressed father (caused by my mother). It was a mind numbing experience that still haunts me today. Mostly from the isolation in childhood and lack of atypical childhood experiences due erratic nature of BP of my mother. Sadly the mental health industry seems to have virtually ignored the children of the mentally ill. Fortunately, I don’t have BP but struggle with depression at times due having grown up in such a depressing situation. It was difficult growing up and seeing how my friends families loved each other and had positive supportive relationships.
Mental illness runs in families & bipolar is commonly passed down genetically. What medication was your mother on? With proper treatment & medication, ppl with bipolar & other mental illness can function “normally”. So, IMO…your depression is probably clinical, not situational….especially since it has been “up & down” since your childhood, and your history. You’re an adult. Muffinpuncher, (why do you have a screen name like that, it sounds like anger is a problem too), take the information you have & do something positive for yourself with it. ITA with McDowdog & self pity. Do something to improve your mental health. You’re lucky you know what you know.
Oh, and…it is super common for ppl with bipolar & other mental health problems to self medicate with drugs & alcohol. It can cause or worsen psychosis & anger.
edit:
Quote:
Originally Posted by pathrunner
The "mind-numbing" you mention is one example of brain dysregulation. Many children of mentally ill parents experience a lifetime of unresolved trauma. Fortunately, thre is a plethora of information now, about how to deal with it.
Many children of mentally ill parents are ill themselves. They can also be drawn to alcohol or drug abuse AND other self medication…like ppl online. It only makes their problems worse. So could reinforcing the idea they have been traumatized because we really don’t know the mental state of somebody online…especially with a screen name like muffinpuncher. You could be reinforcing rage or psychosis.
Last edited by TashaPosh; 04-25-2023 at 10:22 AM..
I will admit that the first time I saw the screen name I was displeased. I thought it was kind/of sort of related to "muff" puncher, which would be misogynistic if true.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,595,111 times
Reputation: 7618
Quote:
Originally Posted by pathrunner
I will admit that the first time I saw the screen name I was displeased.
The thing is…we have no way of knowing the O.P.’s mental state. Their screen name makes me question it more, especially because of their post & history. IMO, it has nothing to do with being displeased. It’s not about us. Aren’t we here to help the O.P. or encourage them to get help in response to their thread? It’s a mental health forum. We don’t have to be “pleased” & we sure shouldn’t reinforce their negativity, self pity or anger while pretending to help.
edit: IMO, your post does that.
Last edited by TashaPosh; 04-25-2023 at 10:49 AM..
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,595,111 times
Reputation: 7618
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkyLark2019
You're not alone.
Feel free to message me here.
The victims of sociopaths and Narcissists tend to suffer in silence.
Tho the O.P. said bipolar. It’s different than ASPD or NPD. The O.P. knows their mom’s diagnosis & is an adult. That’s not suffering in silence. They need to take that information & do something constructive with it for their own mental health. Wallowing reinforces & excuses negative behavior.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
