Does this sound like mental illness?

[K12144]

Does it matter whether she has a mental illness? You went on one date with her; you're not married to her. If she's not your cup of tea, break it off. Nothing for you to worry about.


1. So do plenty of allegedly "normal" and reasonably-intelligent people. It may even be that she typos often. I even know of people who are pretty brilliant at, say, physics, but can't spell to save their lives.

2. Everybody's been talking about this giant storm that's coming across the country on Friday, for something like a week. It's all over the news, it's office discussion, offices are being closed. Why have you not heard of it?

3. So she's directionally-challenged. So are many people.

4. She could have a stalker. You have no idea what that's about. Yes, sometimes stalkers do call from other numbers, have friends or family call, etc.

5. Probably has read one of those "how to make conversation" articles. That makes her guilty of taking bad advice, not mental illness.

6. Maybe she forgot where you said you work. If she asked you this right after you told her where you work, then I might worry. Otherwise, maybe she simply doesn't remember the workplace of everyone she's met (or, possibly, every man she's dating; you're not necessarily the only one).

7. Again, maybe directionally-challenged.

[starlitwanderer]

You said she is in college, would it be right to assume she is young, like in 18-20 age range? What could definitely explain some of the awkward conversations and making mistakes getting around. Probably just lack of experience, but it could happen to the best of us.

I also don't see anything too off about canceling a date due to a mega blizzard/artic freeze coming through as many of us canceled plans. I personally stayed in the house for three days. Also changing numbers to distance yourself from a stalker is wise.

She may or may not have organizational problems or some ADHD or something but we couldn't tell this early. And whether or not that would be a deal breaker is another conversation. I don't see any of the things you mentioned as major red flags. But what is a red flag is that you are not comfortable around her, you feel something is off. And by the fact you did this post seems like you want out more than you are interested in sticking around to find out. So trust your heart. If you don't like her that much and are not comfortable with her, that's enough of a reason to stop.

[mstnghu2]

From my own personal experience, if something just feels "off" with somebody it's best to end things sooner than later and avoid potential hurt in both parties. Sometimes there are compatibility issues and sometimes there are full-blown red flags and toxic behaviors...but sometimes your gut just tells you that something isn't quite right with somebody.

It doesn't matter if they actually have some sort of mental illness or personality disorder at that point. I used to have a sort of mental checklist I was looking for in a partner. Now, if something just feels "off", I listen to my instincts and haven't been steered wrong.

[SnazzyB]

Originally Posted by SUPbud

well lets take a step back.
If you are motivated to post 7 things you dont like or dont understand about someone you took out for Froyo last Friday payday... dont ask her out again.
You should be giddy about 7 things you "do get" about each other.



but -
1. writing skills of a 6th grader: watch some old episodes of the TV show "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" There are some 6th graders who are demonstrably smarter and more coherent than Vice President Kamala Harris (or Joe Biden) (or Donald Trump) (or AOC) (or even this forum poster, me right here) take your pick.

Someone can be "functionally illiterate" (atrocious speller) and still be an "astounding success" in life and love and business and arts and sports and politics. Or a failure - depends on how you measure the value of other people.



- getting lost or late for a date: who hasnt done that?
- asking random questions: that's my specialty

- ask me what side of town I live on? I might be new in town and I dont know how YOU define "the sides"
I might say
'not sure; but def the wrong side of the tracks' or 'in a VAN down by the RIVER'


- changed her phone number because she said "someone was calling her saying weird stuff."
"Hello, trying to reach you about your expired auto warranty" = robospam - sounds reasonable to me.


you casually in conversation ask 'is this mental illness?'

number one, even if you are board-certified psychiatrist, I dont think you can diagnose mental illness from a couple of txts, reported 4th hand in a forum post.

None of what you posted sounds like mental illness. She may simply be sloppy or lazy, or an airhead with a double digit IQ. There are silly 16 year olds and weatherbeaten 86 year olds who talk exactly like her.


if you really want to see mental illness, and how the thought processes and gaps and inconsistencies in mood, memory and cognition look like,
I recommend Youtuber Mark Laita's channel "Soft White Underbelly". I've followed Mark's work since the pandemic, and he was just last week's guest on Joe Rogan.
TRIGGER WARNING though: Mark's content and subject matter is heart-and-gut wrenching true stories. After finishing some interviews, I say

"There but for the Grace of God, I go..."
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/there...ce_of_God_go_I

I've seen some of the Soft White Underbelly videos, and you're right..."There but for the grace of God is right. Some really sad and pitiful situations.

I have/used to have a friend who is suffering through severe, untreated mental illness. It breaks my heart. She used to be 'normal' and then she and I had a falling out, and several years went by...and then she was back in my life again, and she's all messed up.

She's convinced that her ex husband is using top secret super sonic sound waves to mess with her head, and she says that she gets raped nearly daily. She'll up and leave her location to try and hide from her ex, and wherever she lands, she says someone is still somehow raping her almost daily (but she doesn't remember being raped, she doesn't know who's doing it...just that she wakes up and knows she's been raped again.

Last I heard, she was living in a little town in Mexico. She posted a video of 'evidence' that someone has been installing cameras, and yes, she's getting raped again. I haven't heard from her in months. I kind of wonder if she's even still alive. It's awful.