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So I went out on a date with this girl and something just seems off with her. Something just doesn't feel right, but maybe I'm wrong.
1) She has the written communication of a 6th grader, but is supposedly in college. She uses wrong and misspelled common words. Yet when talking with her in person she seemed normal.
2) I just get odd texts from her that don't quite make sense. She said she "heard it was going to storm" Friday, so she might not be able to see me. We were planning to meet for dinner. That makes no sense and why not check the weather apps? No storms were in the forecast. And its an odd excuse even if she didn't want to meet.
3) When we met she was late because she got "lost" and thought the next door building was the bar, yet no other buildings were open there and there were no other bars.
4) She randomly changed her phone number because she said "someone was calling her saying weird stuff." I asked her why didn't she block it, but she said they call from another number to get her upset.
5) She asks random questions in a row. Like "what's your favorite color." Then followed by "what are you looking for in someone."
6) She asked me where I worked to make sure we didn't' work for the same company. This was after I told her I worked for a construction management company and she works in a cell phone companies retail office. These have nothing to do with each other and are totally different industries.
&) I asked her what side of town she lived on and she wasn't sure. But she had lived there for over a year and eventually figured it out.
I wouldn't pigeonhole anyone based on your list. Some of those lapses suggest more of an intellectual or developmental disability, not mental illness. They aren't the same. Some reading might help:
So I went out on a date with this girl and something just seems off with her. Something just doesn't feel right, but maybe I'm wrong.
1) She has the written communication of a 6th grader, but is supposedly in college. She uses wrong and misspelled common words. Yet when talking with her in person she seemed normal.
2) I just get odd texts from her that don't quite make sense. She said she "heard it was going to storm" Friday, so she might not be able to see me. We were planning to meet for dinner. That makes no sense and why not check the weather apps? No storms were in the forecast. And its an odd excuse even if she didn't want to meet.
3) When we met she was late because she got "lost" and thought the next door building was the bar, yet no other buildings were open there and there were no other bars.
4) She randomly changed her phone number because she said "someone was calling her saying weird stuff." I asked her why didn't she block it, but she said they call from another number to get her upset.
5) She asks random questions in a row. Like "what's your favorite color." Then followed by "what are you looking for in someone."
6) She asked me where I worked to make sure we didn't' work for the same company. This was after I told her I worked for a construction management company and she works in a cell phone companies retail office. These have nothing to do with each other and are totally different industries.
&) I asked her what side of town she lived on and she wasn't sure. But she had lived there for over a year and eventually figured it out.
This made me think she might have a form of dyslexia.
The other stuff kind of reminds me of one of my sisters-in-law. Well...she reminds me a LOT like my SIL. I don't claim to know the science behind the behaviors, but with my SIL...she's a very very nervous person...has been her whole life. She exasperates the family around her, which then gets her more nervous, erractic and 'goofy' for lack of a better word.
My SIL backs out of plans all the time. Often at the last minute. But when she DOES commit, and she's not around other family members, and she has a chance to relax (she doesn't relax around most family) she's 'normal'. Most of the family does not see that side of her. But that said...her siblings are often short and grouchy with her...so it kind of comes down to a chicken or egg kind of thing.
She's actually very very intelligent...but she has this nervous energy...it's like her nervousness overides clear thinking sometimes.
It seems like a combination of a learning disability (dyslexia), some degree of mental illness, ADHD and/or anxiety. I say "some" because it may not be very much. There's also the possibility that she doesn't want to end things directly, but force you into doing it. I don't really think that's the reason, though.
Still further, there's a little bit of paranoia or perhaps simple fear (imagining people calling her, strange explanations). Changing plans suddenly can possibly indicate ADHD or an anxiety disorder.
This is a complex situation and my take is that you should not pursue it. This is a situation for her to figure out via a professional. You don't need to feel guilty for moving on. There is too much going on, it's early and you already have some serious questions and considerations.
I wouldn't pigeonhole anyone based on your list. Some of those lapses suggest more of an intellectual or developmental disability, not mental illness. They aren't the same. Some reading might help:
But it doesn't really matter if we can diagnose her or not. She would make me uncomfortable. If she makes you uncomfortable, don't go out with her. It's really quite simple. You don't need a hard and fast reason.
I'd also day end it now.
There are people who talk normally but make spelling errors. She might have some sort of disability. I second the opinion to end it now if you are bothered by the items you enumerated.
If she's making you uncomfortable then end it now and just tell you don't think things are working out between the two of you.
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