Funny Police Reports in Montana papers (Missoula, Bozeman: for sale, coop, felony)

[happiness is]

Last Wednesday Bozeman Police Report:

Two women were warned for threatening each other through text messages and Facebook.

A young man ran away from home after his mother confronted him about taking a drug test.

An 18-year-old man was busted for using a fake ID on West College Street at 5:37 p.m.

Gallatin County Sheriff report:
Someone threw children’s scooters all over a Camp Creek Road parking lot.

[happiness is]

From the police reports:

A man came back to his apartment late at night and found a boxer puppy that was not his waiting for him.

[happiness is]

Sunday Police Reports:

An officer removed a refrigerator blocking traffic on South 11th Avenue around 12:30 a.m.

Around 4 a.m., police “helped an extremely upset and intoxicated female get home” after she inadvertently left her purse and keys in a bar after closing.

A man, who called police because he needed gas money, later told them “a good Samaritan gave him enough to get to Great Falls.”

[happiness is]

Police report from Monday:

A man on West Main Street flagged down an officer to show off his new puppy.

County Sheriff's report:

Someone went through a Churchill Road car and threw the owner’s paperwork around.

A possible buffalo was sighted “lumbering along slowly” north in the southbound lane of Gallatin Road.

[ElkHunter]

I am really enjoying these police reports. But a slight deviation. How about laws that are still on the books, but no longer enforced?

For instance. When I was in High School, our History class went to the court house and our assignment was to look up laws that were no longer enforced. One of the laws we found said, "When coming into town with a horselss carraige, you have have a flagman running 50 ft ahead, waving a flag, letting people know that there is a Horseless Carriage coming."

Yeah, right. Could you imagine that today? How would those police reports read? hahahahaha But that law is still on the books.

[happiness is]

The internet has a lot of lists of outdated laws, and one that I've often seen, which the city of Bozeman has de-bunked apparently as an urban myth, has to do with having sex on a front lawn.

... anyway, there are other online lists of old laws in Montana which state:

In Helena, it is against the law to throw any item across a street.

In Helena, a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon unless she is wearing at least three pounds two ounces of clothing.

[happiness is]

Last year a local Irish newspaper had a featured article headlined 'Last Chance to Enter Miss Leitrim'.

[happiness is]

from older Bozeman reports:

- A 911 call from a home on Eustis Road at 6:31 p.m. was made by a 6-year-old girl, who told deputies she was "just practicing."

- Just after midnight, multiple people came very close to fighting over multiple things on Highland Boulevard.

And a call from around Christmas time last year:

- A caller on North Fourth Avenue complained that a car was parked in front of her home for 45 minutes with its lights on. The couple inside were exchanging gifts in the car because the woman was allergic to the man's house cat.

- A resident of Finnegan Lane reported that his neighbor's dog was chasing his llamas.

- A man entered a bank on North 19th Avenue at 10:12 a.m. and asked to see money. He looked at the bills, holding them up to the light and then left.

[happiness is]

From Tuesday's Bozeman Police Reports:

A person on South Rouse Avenue told dispatch the captain at the Salvation Army was “rude and vulgar and not being nice to people.”

From Tuesday's Gallatin County Sheriff Reports:

A Windmill Drive woman believed there was a man in her yard at 6:54 p.m. She thought he stole something before driving off in a “rattle trap.”

[Cindiana]

My hometown newspaper once had a report of a "suspicious squirrel."