Funny Police Reports in Montana papers (Bozeman, Belgrade: construction, high school, fence)

[happiness is]

Last Saturday night was way too rowdy in Bozeman.

Police Reports for Bozeman, Saturday:

Loud parties were reported at 12:20 a.m. on 22nd Avenue and at 2:20 a.m. and 3:30 a.m. on Beall Street.

At 1:15 a.m. several intoxicated males were in front of a stranger’s house on Willson Avenue making “a lot of noise.” The men were warned to leave by police and were picked up by a friend.

Just before 2 a.m., a 25-year-old woman called to report that she was the passenger in an accident in which the driver left the scene on Frontage Road. Upon further investigation it was determined that the woman was in fact the driver and that she had been drinking. She was arrested for her second offense of driving under the influence.

Three intoxicated men damaged a street sign at the corner of 13th Avenue and Dickerson Street at 2:20 a.m. while attempting to pull it out of the ground.

Someone took a woman’s Lhasa Apso from her car while she was shopping in Costco.

A caller who was “busted for cocaine 26 years ago” called police wondering if they could get a passport to go to central Asia.

A 52-year-old man was arrested for driving under the influence at 6:15 p.m. after he was seen “ramming another truck almost into the lake” in the Macy’s parking lot.

[KrazeeKrewe]

Originally Posted by happiness is

Last Saturday night was way too rowdy in Bozeman.

Police Reports for Bozeman, Saturday:

At 1:15 a.m. several intoxicated males were in front of a stranger’s house on Willson Avenue making “a lot of noise.” The men were warned to leave by police and were picked up by a friend.

Christmas Carolers?

[ElkHunter]

Originally Posted by happiness is

Last Saturday night was way too rowdy in Bozeman.

Police Reports for Bozeman, Saturday:

- Snip -

Someone took a woman’s Lhasa Apso from her car while she was shopping in Costco.

- snip -

That was a blessing, not a crime. Have you ever had one of these punt puppys?

They are like that wind up toy. Bark Bark Bark Bark, jump, Bark Bark Bark Bark, Jump, ...

[happiness is]

Originally Posted by KrazeeKrewe

Christmas Carolers?

Yeah, maybe the old English Wassailing tradition?? Getting more and more drunk as the singing progresses to each house...

The Wassailing Song

Wassail, wassail all over the town
Our toast it is white and our ale it is brown
Our bowl it is made of the white maple tree
With the wassailing bowl, we'll drink to thee

So here is to Cherry and to his right cheek
Pray God send our master a good piece of beef
And a good piece of beef that may we all see
With the wassailing bowl, we'll drink to thee

And here is to Dobbin and to his right eye
Pray God send our master a good Christmas pie
A good Christmas pie that may we all see
With the wassailing bowl, we'll drink to thee

So here is to Broad Mary and to her broad horn
May God send our master a good crop of corn
And a good crop of corn that may we all see
With the wassailing bowl, we'll drink to thee

And here is to Fillpail and to her left ear
Pray God send our master a happy New Year
And a happy New Year as e'er he did see
With the wassailing bowl, we'll drink to thee

And here is to Colly and to her long tail
Pray God send our master he never may fail
A bowl of strong beer! I pray you draw near
And our jolly wassail it's then you shall hear

Come butler, come fill us a bowl of the best
Then we hope that your soul in heaven may rest
But if you do draw us a bowl of the small
Then down shall go butler, bowl and all

Then here's to the maid in the lily white smock
Who tripped to the door and slipped back the lock
Who tripped to the door and pulled back the pin
For to let these jolly wassailers in.

Wassail, wassail all over the town
Our toast it is white and our ale it is brown
Our bowl it is made of the white maple tree
With the wassailing bowl, we'll drink to thee

[Timberwolf232]

I read one in the Bozeman Comical a few years back that said. "A man called police to report a burgler hiding in his closet, when the police came to investigate, they cited the man for an illegal marijuana grow in the same closet. No intruders were found."

[ElkHunter]

A few years back I was working in Texas and there was one that made national news. Not sure if it was in Texas or just where it was. But:

A guy called the police department and explained that he had been arrested for growing marijuana. When he went to court, he was aquitted and charges were dropped. He called and said, "Because I was aquitted, can I have my plants back?"

[happiness is]

More from Bozeman Police report, Sunday included the following:

Police were unable to locate a caller who made several calls to 911 and then hung up. The man sounded extremely intoxicated and was “talking gibberish.” He wouldn’t answer a dispatcher’s questions and was talking about wishing his mother a "happy birthday".

A man carrying a white bucket in a South 23rd Avenue parking lot shoved a lobster into a taxi driver’s face around 3 p.m.

Around 7 p.m., a West College Street apartment dweller reported water running down the walls and hearing the neighbors’ bathtub running above, but the neighbors did not answer the door.

A man seen walking down the middle of North Fifth Avenue around 7:15 p.m. was avoiding an ice patch on the sidewalk.

From the Sheriff's report:

At 12:20 a.m., residents on Wrangler Drive who were shooting off fireworks at a family bonfire “graciously agreed to cease further pyrotechnic activity in consideration of the late hour and the neighbor’s desire for peaceful slumber.”

(love that official verbiage)

[happiness is]

This was in the Butte Montana Standard, not the police reports, but it surely fits in this thread.

Butte woman arrested in N. California

A Butte woman is in custody in Northern California for allegedly trying to sell marijuana after posting signs that read, "Marijuana for sale, with free samples".

[happiness is]

Well, here is a Christmas Eve gift... a whole passel of Bozeman Police and Sheriff reports I saved from around Christmas time 2009.

************

A driver was stopped for trailing an extension cord plugged into the engine block heater behind the vehicle, creating a potential hazard.

A man who had been pulled over by officers several days ago said that his machete was missing after officers searched his car.

A driver was stopped after chasing a herd of elk from the roadway into a field. In addition to DUI, the man was cited for "Harassing Big Game Animals with a Vehicle."

A dispatcher heard people speaking about making peanut butter balls during a 9-1-1 hang up call.

A "convention" of dozens of snowmobiles were parked on "everyone's property" near Mule Deer Road around 4:30 p.m.

A deputy checked on a man "wandering in the meadow drunk" around midnight.

Teenage siblings who were fighting with each other were separated.

An officer spoke with a driver who had stopped at a nativity scene on North 19th Avenue at 11:23 p.m. and was blocking a lane of traffic.

A man complained that fireworks going off somewhere downtown were bothering his dog.

A 17-year-old girl was reported to be throwing plates at her father after he tried to take away her computer.

A dispatcher heard "the Peanuts Theme" in the background during a 911 hang up call.

No one was seriously injured when a driver rear-ended a police officer while the officer was waiting to make a left turn at North Church Avenue and East Main Street.

Police warned two people after they were reported "arguing, pushing and flipping each other off."

Four teen boys were skiing on church steps and the railing around 10 p.m.

[happiness is]

Bozeman Police Reports from Tuesday:

Police spoke with a drunken man walking between the Molly Brown and the Haufbrau House at 2:18 a.m. He said "there were freaky people trying to hit him with a bar," emphasizing that there were "a lot of weird people out."

Someone was reportedly playing music that "messes with your heart beat" in the trailer park east of Firestone Tires at 3:24 a.m.

A 20-year-old man on anesthesia was running around out of control near Lindley Park around 10 a.m. He was found at the cross-country ski area north of the hospital.

Sheriff's report from Tuesday:

A barefoot man was out in the snow in shorts and a hoodie at 6:22 a.m. west of Backyard Storage. Officers learned he was an enthusiastic jogger.