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RE: the Civil War stuff
In the NY metro are4a, in my experience, you have alot of people whose families immigrated AFTER that war. Add to that, that the subject is taught with a heavy emphasis on the abolitionist movement, and the states rights aspect is merely touched upon. So, if you learn it that way, if the textbooks talk about the bad plantaiton owners, & gloss over the majority of average people who suffered through the war (as they seem to in all wars!!), perhaps you can see the knee jerk reaction of many Northerners.
I am scared to think that I would be moving amonst people who want to trasnform NC because I am seeking the slower pace I grew up with in NY. Not all northerners are rude & arrogant & ignorant. And we have our fiar share of crazy senior citizen drivers, slow salesclerks, and regional idiocyncracies.
Informer,
Thank you for well, informing me. It does dampen my spirits about my upcoming move, though.
I just hope the area I'm moving to is a little more accepting. I would hate to think my children are being alienated for the state they are from. We read quite a lot about how Northerners should act accordingly to receive Southern hospitality but so far the angriest and most offensive posts have come from native NCians. No one from NY/NJ has really said anything negative about the state or the people.
Most of the transplants I talk to have no complaints. Maybe it depends on the area?
"We read quite a lot about how Northerners should act accordingly to receive Southern hospitality"
Why?
Why should I have to conform to someones idealism's to be treated a certain way? What are we - a bunch of school children?
Southern hospitality? Where? One of the truly great urban legends.
Oh I see - If you act according to *our* standards you will be treated as one of us. No thankyou - I know how to use my brain.
Well said. I guess the mentality is so foreign to me because I come from a place that has people from all walks of life.
I'm in a part of Jersey that was quite rural 15 years ago and the faces of the towns here have changed dramatically since New Yorkers and North Jerseyans have moved in. I can understand all the issues-overcrowded schools, traffic, subdivisions going up one after another, etc. There is always some resentment with change. But as far as treating newcomers like they are invading our territory, calling them names, generalizing them all as rude and obnoxious people-that seems to be more of a Southern thing. Sorry, everyone. But really, how many times can we be referred to as rude Yankees and not feel outraged? There are quite a few of us who are pretty darn nice-and polite.
A word of warning from the moderators of this forum:
"From now on all posts about corporal punishment will be considered off topic for this forum and deleted". "Please do not re-open this topic anywhere else here".
After reading this thread and others about the conditions of the schools in the south --re: subpar with those in other regions of this great country. It might interest you to know that US News - Newsweek - has a ranking for highschools just as it does colleges published every year. As it stands now southern schools take 11 positions of the top 15 highschools.
Now. These schools are considered to be the best at preparing their students for college. I have children who were students at one of these schools and nephews now attending another. I couldn't have asked for a better education for any of them. My two children attended one of the most elite public universities in the country and had no problems with their college career.
I am aware that not all southern schools are as good as the ones listed here but neither are all northern schools as good as those considered the best of their region. It is very important no matter where one lives to be diligent in their school search. Involvement from parents in their child's education makes a tremendous difference in what type education they recieve.
As for southerner's being welcoming to "yankees". I have seen it stated very eloquently here by others and have to agree. Those that move here and embrace our culture instead of being condecending and doing everything in their misery to make us comform to their customs will meet resistance. I know many "yankee transplants" that love it here and love the slower pace and the hospitality. I also know transplants that complain to anyone who will listen how much they hate it here and how backwards we are...and how stupid and uneducated we are.
I am a native from another southern state. I also went through culture shock when I moved here 10 years ago. It took me two years to feel comfortable, so culture shock isn't only for the northerners or other regions. It takes effort to fit in. I was used to doing things differently too, but I held my tongue and learned the local ways, got used to a southern accent that was quite different from my own. Slang words and phrases not to mention extra words in sentences, threw me for a loop, and I moved from the deep south...go figure.
I guess what I'm getting at is to say, slow down when you get here, observe and be open minded. It's going to be a lot different no matter where you move from or to. Don't tell us how much better it was where you came from. In a lot of cases I had the same thoughts but came to realize it was just different, not neccessarily better.
I love it here and I love my home state. It's a big country and diversity is spice of life. The south was mostly untouched in a way of life until the last 25 years or so. So yes, you will run into pockets of nothing but natives and southerners in general here. It takes a lot of getting used to on our part as well. Our best kept secret...weather, natural beauty, low housing cost and low taxes have been found out so we are having growing pangs all the way around.
Just stop and think how you might feel if you had a huge influx of southerners moving to say, New England which is steeped in tradition, and those southerners then went about changing and demanding that New England change to reflect the southern culture so that said southerners would feel at home. I'm not sure that would go over very well there either.
<<Just stop and think how you might feel if you had a huge influx of southerners moving to say, New England which is steeped in tradition, and those southerners then went about changing and demanding that New England change to reflect the southern culture so that said southerners would feel at home. I'm not sure that would go over very well there either.>>
Ha Ha Ha
that is exactly what has happened. Except the southerners are from way south... try Mexico & South America, plus China, Africa, Israel...
Years ago newcomers tried to conform. Now our area is bi & tri lingual, & more, flags of other countries fly above the American flag on businesses & home flagpoles, stores have signage in foreign languages... the newcomers take over areas & make no attempt to fit in, & it is **not going over well**
We too have small towns, less educated people, salt of the earth types, plus cities with sophisticates & everything in between. We have a rich history too and it is a slap in the face to see our architectural forms paved over by anonymous malls
But, this is happening all over our country, the regional differences are lessening, to all our losses.
So, all the transplants who aren't being transferred against their will know, more than you know, what it is like to deal with arrogant newcomers. I guess it is human nature to seek the familiar, it just depends on how you go about it.
North Carolina has one of, if not the fastest growing hispanic population in the country. I know all about that. We have a very, very large hispanic population here. To a lesser extent we also have people moving in from other countries as well. Those are other topics.
"So, all the transplants who aren't being transferred against their will know, more than you know, what it is like to deal with arrogant newcomers. I guess it is human nature to seek the familiar, it just depends on how you go about it."
Then you should have empathy for how southerners feel when the same is inflicted upon them. I will reiterate, not all "yankee's" are "arrogant", but anyone that moves into a new area and tries to change it for their benefit or their perceived betterment of the area, will be greeted with resistance.
We've seen the same thing in Mass. in smaller towns as the "metropolitan" types moved in, then brought all their expensive "needs" with them.
Please, all of you who have to change where you move, stay where you are! A lot of small New England towns DID get messed up by these types. I'm fleeing one of those towns now and heading to NC. I love the climate and the folks. Yeah, sure, there are bad apples everywhere. That's life.
BTW, I have seen plenty of "rednecks" up here in the "cosmopolitan" North. They are Northerners, too. It is a state of mind and not necessarily a function of geography.
90% of the transplants I have spoken with would never go back.
I don't think I could live anywhere else but where I do. I have lived in 7 out of the 100 counties of North Carolina and the first chance I got, I came running home. So if I can't take other places of North Carolina, I doubt that I could take somewhere that I know nothing about. And the irony of it all is the one thing that I "hate" about Greene County, is the one thing that brought me back. And that is everyone knowing who you are. I felt lost when the locals came into a store and they were greeted by their name and when I went into the place, it was like, "What did you say your name was?" Around here when I walk into say the pharmacy, they don't even have to ask my name. By the time I hit the door, the cashier has my prescription on the counter when I get there to pay for it. Weird how that is.
And the irony of it all is the one thing that I "hate" about Greene County, is the one thing that brought me back. And that is everyone knowing who you are. I felt lost when the locals came into a store and they were greeted by their name and when I went into the place, it was like, "What did you say your name was?" Around here when I walk into say the pharmacy, they don't even have to ask my name. By the time I hit the door, the cashier has my prescription on the counter when I get there to pay for it. Weird how that is.
I can totally relate & have had the exact same experience! I echo your thoughts.
I'll add, when we decided to raise a family, we "came back home". Suddenly knowing everybody's business became of paramount importance to us both. I wanted to "know" the people my kids would be spending time with, sleepover at, etc. I used to be the very thing that I despised, especially as a teenager. Wisdom with age I guess.... Maybe just becoming a mom... I don't know. Way back when, I would have never, ever believed I would have chosen to return.
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jerseymom...
Changing the face of New England & New York
Ha Ha Ha 
