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I was at conference over the weekend at Myrtle Beach and I was going thru the snack table and a lady ask me a question and I said No Ma'am and she took offense to it.
She proclaim hey I am not much older than you and I have not even look at her yet.
I do not say yes sir, no ma'am base on age but rather out of politeness no matter how much older or younger you are to me. I told her I am sorry it just my southern ways and left it at that. I am not changing the respectful way I was brought up because someone in insecure with their age.
I was at conference over the weekend at Myrtle Beach and I was going thru the snack table and a lady ask me a question and I said No Ma'am and she took offense to it.
She proclaim hey I am not much older than you and I have not even look at her yet.
I do not say yes sir, no ma'am base on age but rather out of politeness no matter how much older or younger you are to me. I told her I am sorry it just my southern ways and left it at that. I am not changing the respectful way I was brought up because someone in insecure with their age.
That's just amazing Sunny! What is the world is the matter with people???
How can respect be a bad thing? It is refreshing to say the least. Living in the north the past 7 months, I'm so tired of clerks hardly being able to get out the words "thank you" . Gosh to hear "have a nice day" again would be great.
I don't mind the Mr. John or Miss Jane but the yes sir and yes ma'am thing I don't like - I find it somewhat conscending and I didn't join the military however, I do understand that it is a custom for some people and no harm is meant when using it. What I don't like is that my kids have been chastised for not saying it to some teachers at school - I have no problem with them having to address their teachers with yes Mr. Jones or no Ms. Jones but the yes sir/ma'am thing sorry not for us
I was at conference over the weekend at Myrtle Beach and I was going thru the snack table and a lady ask me a question and I said No Ma'am and she took offense to it.
She proclaim hey I am not much older than you and I have not even look at her yet.
I do not say yes sir, no ma'am base on age but rather out of politeness no matter how much older or younger you are to me. I told her I am sorry it just my southern ways and left it at that. I am not changing the respectful way I was brought up because someone in insecure with their age.
It could have been your tone of voice, or the woman is *_very_* sensitive about her age and assuming you viewed her as older than she is (or is pretending to be). Sounds like *_her_* problem
It could have been your tone of voice, or the woman is *_very_* sensitive about her age and assuming you viewed her as older than she is (or is pretending to be). Sounds like *_her_* problem
ditto.
I use it always out of respect and politeness. That is what my family taught me.
And nope, it does not matter what age ya be. Ya gonna hear it.
It is meant as an address of respect, but you need to be mindful that some people do not like your using it. It is indeed strange, to me too, that someone might be offended by good manners, or by being treated with respect, but some do object to the use of 'yes, ma'am' and the like.
I often use it, like you, Sunny Kayak, when I am responding to or addressing people -- especially if I don't know them. It is how we are taught in the South. It does sound like you did the right thing, and the woman to whom you spoke, could/should have been more gracious in letting you know it wasn't necessary to address her with ma'am. I just have little tolerance of rude people, and that was just plain rude. You can always find a way to express yourself without being ugly, I think.
As for the teachers insisting children address them with 'yes ma'am,' and the like, I understand completely -- especially if the person is unworthy of the respect. Not all people merit respect but sometimes, I'm sorry, a position does. Addressing the teacher with a complete response should be acceptable. Yes, Mr. Jones. Thank you, Mr. Jones. No, Mr. Jones. etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. . . Children do need to be corrected when they lapse into that yeah and huh and nah stuff, or by shrugging their shoulders, and the like.
I think 'yes/no ma'am' and 'yes/no sir' are not intended to be condescending, unless the speaker's tone denotes such, and I have not only heard it from others, but out of frustration or anger, or an intended disrespect, have used it that way myself, unfortunately.
My Father would have back-handed me had he heard it.
I usually hear "yes sir" from a child, a sales clerk (or any employee whose job is customer service), or someone at my job who gets assigned work by me. I take it as politeness, but it can be overdone. In a social setting, I might enthusiastically greet someone about my age with, "How are you, sir?" or something like that, but I would never say "yes sir" or "no sir" to a peer or friend. If someone older than me said "yes sir" or "no sir" not in the context of doing his or her, I would suspect sarcasm. Some people do associate those phrases with things that children are taught to say to adults and therefore might take it the wrong way.
I was at conference over the weekend at Myrtle Beach and I was going thru the snack table and a lady ask me a question and I said No Ma'am and she took offense to it.
She proclaim hey I am not much older than you and I have not even look at her yet.
I do not say yes sir, no ma'am base on age but rather out of politeness no matter how much older or younger you are to me. I told her I am sorry it just my southern ways and left it at that. I am not changing the respectful way I was brought up because someone in insecure with their age.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
If someone wants to be in Myrtle Beach, SC, and complain when someone calls them "sir" or "ma'am", then that is their problem! I wouldn't think twice about it.
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