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My husband grew up in North Dakota (Dickinson) and we lived in Fargo for the first two years of our marriage. His best friend from high school is gay and high-tailed it out of the state the first chance he got. That being said, there is a small gay scene in Fargo, which is not very visible unless you're specifically looking for it. We went to a gay bar once with my husband's friend when he came to visit and it was a blast.
I grew up in Iowa, which is similar in culture to North Dakota. I can tell you that, for the most part, if your child is a great athlete and/or a popular social butterfly, then he/she will not have much of a problem with the other children at school. That is the absolute key to the prevention of childhood harassment by one's peers here in the Midwest. It's how I grew up and it's part of the reason why we're leaving because my son is now experiencing the same thing.
I live and work in Fargo and have had a number of gay employees over the years. There are homophobes in every town, but although I haven't personally experienced it, it doesn't seem to be too overt here. In Fargo, I think that the neighborhoods nearer to downtown (Horace Mann, Historic Hawthorne) are more open to differences among residents than the new subdivisions in the SW area of town where some of the near "mega-churches" rule. I'm involved in some of the classical music offerings in town, and there the presence of gays is basically assumed and is welcomed.
if you are gay and you wanted to live in north dakota, you'd definitely be best off in fargo, but even so you'd have to be crazy to move here. i've lived in fargo 15 years and i'm continually amazed at how out of touch the majority of people are here. i'm not saying you wouldn't be just fine on a day-to-day basis, but if you walked down broadway holding hands with the same sex you'd certainly encounter at least moderate harassment. during the school year the town is crammed with obnoxious (usually drunken) college students, almost all of whom are from even smaller, more isolated towns than fargo. they will yell *** at you and throw garbage from their cars. this happens to me almost every time i ride bike in fargo, and it's not like i go biking in a clown suit or something, and i'm not gay. people here are just plain mean-spirited and miserable, young and old, and they want you to be as miserable as they are. and if the younger crowd doesn't give you enough hell, almost anyone over 40 will certainly have enough issues if they found out about your lifestyle (bibles outnumber brain cells here). oh by the way, hope you like trains! because if any part of your normal day involves a drive through downtown, you'll be spending much of your commute waiting 10+ minutes watching them inch through town, making you late for everything (unless you know the only 2 streets with underpasses, and the jackass fargo drivers around you let you out of the traffic jam). and this happens about every 15 minutes. fargo has a very small but tight-knit gay community, and i'm sure if you met them they would have much better advice than i do. they pretty much intermingle throughout the artist community here. also, fargo's convenient location between winnipeg and minneapolis brings lots of great indie bands to the aquarium (a music venue/bar here), if you were to attend any of these shows you'd certainly meet plenty of open minded people and make lots of friends. but i know that if i were gay, fargo would be the last place in america i'd choose to live. i apologize for how negative this post turned out, i just haven't seen anyone addressing what a gay couple from elsewhere would REALLY experience here. you won't get beat up or victimized, but most people certainly won't make you feel comfortable. fargo is a great place if you are joe american, otherwise, i'd consider the twin cities. hope this helped and good luck!
if you are gay and you wanted to live in north dakota, you'd definitely be best off in fargo, but even so you'd have to be crazy to move here. i've lived in fargo 15 years and i'm continually amazed at how out of touch the majority of people are here. i'm not saying you wouldn't be just fine on a day-to-day basis, but if you walked down broadway holding hands with the same sex you'd certainly encounter at least moderate harassment. during the school year the town is crammed with obnoxious (usually drunken) college students, almost all of whom are from even smaller, more isolated towns than fargo. they will yell *** at you and throw garbage from their cars. this happens to me almost every time i ride bike in fargo, and it's not like i go biking in a clown suit or something, and i'm not gay. people here are just plain mean-spirited and miserable, young and old, and they want you to be as miserable as they are. and if the younger crowd doesn't give you enough hell, almost anyone over 40 will certainly have enough issues if they found out about your lifestyle (bibles outnumber brain cells here). oh by the way, hope you like trains! because if any part of your normal day involves a drive through downtown, you'll be spending much of your commute waiting 10+ minutes watching them inch through town, making you late for everything (unless you know the only 2 streets with underpasses, and the jackass fargo drivers around you let you out of the traffic jam). and this happens about every 15 minutes. fargo has a very small but tight-knit gay community, and i'm sure if you met them they would have much better advice than i do. they pretty much intermingle throughout the artist community here. also, fargo's convenient location between winnipeg and minneapolis brings lots of great indie bands to the aquarium (a music venue/bar here), if you were to attend any of these shows you'd certainly meet plenty of open minded people and make lots of friends. but i know that if i were gay, fargo would be the last place in america i'd choose to live. i apologize for how negative this post turned out, i just haven't seen anyone addressing what a gay couple from elsewhere would REALLY experience here. you won't get beat up or victimized, but most people certainly won't make you feel comfortable. fargo is a great place if you are joe american, otherwise, i'd consider the twin cities. hope this helped and good luck!
I think I said if I were gay I would not live here. However, not for all the reasons you have stated. I think your take on the above is slightly true but way over board. I also think if you feel so negative about the town and the people and are harrassed so much, then you should leave.
Wide Ride, your experiences reverberate throughout the nation and are most certainly NOT confined to North Dakota. Here in Scranton, PA, a very heavily Democratic city, I too have been the victim of some neo-Nazism and have been the brunt of many cruel jokes from my heterosexual male counterparts. There are uneducated bigots in every city in America. Likewise there are "live and let live" types in these very same cities living right next-door to the bigots. If it were up to me, I'd say take the plunge and move to North Dakota! Don't let the homophobic cowards get you down!
Wide Ride, your experiences reverberate throughout the nation and are most certainly NOT confined to North Dakota. Here in Scranton, PA, a very heavily Democratic city, I too have been the victim of some neo-Nazism and have been the brunt of many cruel jokes from my heterosexual male counterparts. There are uneducated bigots in every city in America. Likewise there are "live and let live" types in these very same cities living right next-door to the bigots. If it were up to me, I'd say take the plunge and move to North Dakota! Don't let the homophobic cowards get you down!
Very true and I agree but you have to remember that their is a child involved. It is just not about the adults in the family.
Being different in ND I would say is close to the same as being different in other areas that have a more conservative view of life. Growing up in the South, ND though is much better. Its more of a pioneer boot straps mentality here.
ND is not San Francisco, and it won't ever be. But, from what I have seen as someone who is different than the typical North Dakotan in the more suburban parts is that if you don't try to push your believes or lifestyle on them, they will in general judge you by what they know about you based on your character.
So, look at it this way, if you are a private person with your feelings of affection towards your partner (ie not holding hands, kissing, etc in public), I don't really see it as a problem. But open displays of affection between two homosexuals in ND won't get the kind of acceptance like San Francisco.
I don't mean to hijack this thread - it's a similar topic from a broader societal perspective - but does anyone know the type of reaction that transsexuality might engender (yes, pun sort of intended) amongst North Dakotans.
I understand that North Dakota is a state with cities ranging from incredibly tiny to incredibly large, but for a mid-size town of the Bottineau, Rugby, Harvey, New Town, Washburn, etc... type, what would the reaction be - I won't divulge the reason for asking, but it would be very good to know, especially from the perspective of actual North Dakota residents.
I would appreciate honesty in regards to this question over sugar-coated civility .
I don't mean to hijack this thread - it's a similar topic from a broader societal perspective - but does anyone know the type of reaction that transsexuality might engender (yes, pun sort of intended) amongst North Dakotans.
I understand that North Dakota is a state with cities ranging from incredibly tiny to incredibly large, but for a mid-size town of the Bottineau, Rugby, Harvey, New Town, Washburn, etc... type, what would the reaction be - I won't divulge the reason for asking, but it would be very good to know, especially from the perspective of actual North Dakota residents.
I would appreciate honesty in regards to this question over sugar-coated civility .
Thanks
Hi Kwhitegocubs,
While I'm not technically a North Dakotan (yet, and again), I have lived there on two different occasions and we are moving back there in a couple months. So I hope I qualify.
I can only offer you what my reaction would be. Can you send me a private e-mail through this forum, or to my yahoo e-mail (davednorris at yahoo dot com).
I'll be honest, but polite. You can check my other postings on this forum to get a feel for my style of replies.
I don't mean to hijack this thread - it's a similar topic from a broader societal perspective - but does anyone know the type of reaction that transsexuality might engender (yes, pun sort of intended) amongst North Dakotans.
I understand that North Dakota is a state with cities ranging from incredibly tiny to incredibly large, but for a mid-size town of the Bottineau, Rugby, Harvey, New Town, Washburn, etc... type, what would the reaction be - I won't divulge the reason for asking, but it would be very good to know, especially from the perspective of actual North Dakota residents.
I would appreciate honesty in regards to this question over sugar-coated civility.
The honest truth? There are no incredibly large cities in ND. Sorry, it made me chuckle when I saw that, had to say something. Codym stated that there are no worries in F/M or GF, don't forget Bismarck. I know people from the incredibly cosmopolitan () red river valley forget about Bismarck
As for Kwhitegocubs question, there is a difference between transgendered and cross dressers, and many ND residents don't realize that. I have seen a few people that were transgendered and most are so far into the transformation that you generally can't tell that they were of the other sex. Persons at that point in their transformation should have no problem, but a person just beginning to undergo the process may very well be ridiculed for being so "different".
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too much
Don't let the homophobic cowards get you down!
) red river valley forget about Bismarck 
