"No real friends in OC" (Los Angeles, San Francisco: sales, apartments)
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Ok, I only found this site a few weeks ago and wasn't planning on posting a rant so soon, but ... as someone who was born and raised in the NYC area, I'm actually ashamed at how many east coasters seem to have nothing better to do but get online and rag on CA, especially OC.
I'm so sick and tired of hearing New Yorkers whining that "we can't make lifelong true friends in OC." Well gee, guess what ... that's because you haven't been here LIFELONG. Move anywhere, and you will find the same thing.
News flash: I know several people who have moved to NYC or lived there at one time or another due to career, and guess what their #1 complaint was? "We can't meet real friends here." I have a friend who has been there for 5 years and is a great girl and is still saying that.
Whether you're moving to OC, or moving to NYC, you're just not going to make the friends you made growing up. You're not. So grow up and get over it already.
You NY'ers who talk about your deep friendships back home: Those people aren't your true friends because they're from NY. It's because you've known them for 10, 20 years, or more. You went to school together, grew up together, worked together for years, etc., etc.
You want those kinds of friends here in OC? Then live here for 10+ years and it will happen, but please, PLEASE, stop whining that you've been here for a year and don't have friendship and loyalty to compare to your 20+ year friends back home. That's totally unrealistic and makes you look like an idiot.
Oh yeah, my girlfriend's best friend who lives in Manhattan just visited us for the first time. Her favorite thing about Newport Beach? Here's here exact words: "When you meet people they don't give you the stuck-up once over that everyone in Manhattan gives you."
'Nuff said. Sorry for the rant, but enough is enough already with this.
duly noted.
however i partly disagree with the last part: "When you meet people they don't give you the stuck-up once over that everyone in Manhattan gives you."
I think many people judge immediately out here and want to know what you have or where you come from and what you're all about financially, professionally, and socially, rather than what your personality is like and if you can potentially click as a friend. I do agree strongly with the idea that lifelong "loyal" friends takes many years to create, it will not happen overnight and if you moved from a different state or a new area of course you will feel lonely and as if you're struggling to have that close knit bond with someone, b/c naturally you only met them recently, you can't just form a relationship overnight.
as someone who was born and raised in the NYC area, I'm actually ashamed at how many east coasters seem to have nothing better to do but get online and rag on CA, especially OC.
Oh yeah, my girlfriend's best friend who lives in Manhattan just visited us for the first time. Her favorite thing about Newport Beach? Here's here exact words: "When you meet people they don't give you the stuck-up once over that everyone in Manhattan gives you."
I have to say although I have never lived in the OC I have been out there for 5 week stretches sometimes for my husbands work and I lived in NYC for most of my life.That being said I think I can speak a little about my experiences on both coasts. The people I have encountered so far in the OC have been friendly. I have gotten into long conversations with women about a handbag that I was carrying, and outfit that I was wearing or a pair of shoes that I am wearing. They are complmentary about it. You can view this a shallow but there I times on the NYC where women tend to behave catty in those situations rather than compliment you. & don't eve get me started about Philly. Once in a great while women will compliment other women but for the most part the women here are super catty. The black woman are catty with you for one reason & white women for another. Like I said don't get me started on Philly. Don't get me wrong women do compliment each other in NYC sometimes and even compliment each other in Phgilly on the rare occasion but in my experience they are no where near as positive to each other and complimentary of each other than So. Cal.
While in the OC & So Cal Id sometimes wear outfits that I know aren't my best outfit choices yet women would still compliment me. It may be fake but its nice. I know people talk about the racism that exists there which does scare me but I have yet to experience it and we are a racially mixed couple.
Another thing I will bring up is the shopping. I have had much better experiences shopping in So Cal. For the most part you are treated with so much more dignity. Many of the highend stores in NYC will treat you like crap even when they know you can afford the merchandise. Its never anything blatent but its just this slight air that your money isn't green enough or perhaps your skin isn't white enough (but thats a different issue) Some experiences that stand out to me is going to the Chanel in NY and going to the Chanel in Vegas. Now I have gone to the Chanel NY on a few occasions and have purchased suits, glasses boots shoes, skirts, etc from them each time i am there up until give them my cash & credit card they have this air about them like i can't possible afford it. They maintain a snooty are like the are the direct desendant of Coco Chanel herself.
Its like they are too good to help me. After the sale they put my information into their customer database telling me the will alert me of sales but never do & whenever I call the refuse to tell me the type of purse they have in stock or the price range. On the other hand I went to the Chanel in Vegas once & I didn't even wind up buying anything (because I bought this Gucci bag from an equally nice sales girl in Nieman Marcus) but I told her that I was interested in a bag that they were carrying once it went on sale of course This sales girl called me and since then even emails me occasionally with sales that are going on.
This may seem like it is merely about spending money but I feel the attitudes that I have encountered is a positive attribute of the west coast vibes. I don't believe that these peopel truly like me per se or that the are likely to become my lifelong friends but that is ok. That will come in time. I appreciate the common decency & cordial exchanges that i have had with So. Cal people.
The only snooty exchange I have had in So Cal happened recently at a spa in La Jolla. There was a wedding party of women who thought they were too good. There was also one waitress at the place I was staying that thought she was some sort of royality. Other than that La Jolla was ok too. Although the jury is still out on whether or not I'd live there.
There are negatives to the west coast too such as the traffic and i also worry if the OC may be too boring for me but overall I think it can be a welcome change.
Well, having lived over 20 years in OC, - and the relative of several New Yorkers - I can say for certain that one major difference is how spread out Los Angeles is compared to New York. You can't just pop over to your co-worker's house after work, because often times your co-worker lives a 60 minutes commute in one direction and you live a 50 minute commute in the opposite direction. It's very common. Apartments and homes are spread all over, and everyone has to commute everywhere, and there's no good public transportation. It DOES make connecting with other people more of a chore, no doubt. Even in high school, I lived all spread out from my friends.. before you had a car you maybe had a handful of kids in your neighborhood and other than that you were out of luck unless your parents gave you a ride pr you felt like biking for 45 minutes. There was no hopping a subway to a friend's house or meeting them somewhere. Socially, it is a different culture. It's not that the people are less friendly or friendship-worthy, but the community is definitely set up in a way that has an adverse affect on social situations, no doubt.
Well, having lived over 20 years in OC, - and the relative of several New Yorkers - I can say for certain that one major difference is how spread out Los Angeles is compared to New York. You can't just pop over to your co-worker's house after work, because often times your co-worker lives a 60 minutes commute in one direction and you live a 50 minute commute in the opposite direction. It's very common. Apartments and homes are spread all over, and everyone has to commute everywhere, and there's no good public transportation. It DOES make connecting with other people more of a chore, no doubt. Even in high school, I lived all spread out from my friends.. before you had a car you maybe had a handful of kids in your neighborhood and other than that you were out of luck unless your parents gave you a ride pr you felt like biking for 45 minutes. There was no hopping a subway to a friend's house or meeting them somewhere. Socially, it is a different culture. It's not that the people are less friendly or friendship-worthy, but the community is definitely set up in a way that has an adverse affect on social situations, no doubt.
Your post is much more accurate than just saying all SoCal people suck or SoCal (and esp.OC) is boring or pathetic compared to the East Coast...
Traffic combined with a suburban city layout does make it difficult to connect in Southern California--which is why I really only consider San Francisco to be the only major metropolitan city in California. All of our other major cities (to my un-expert knowledge, I admit... >_<) are pretty much suburban city hybrids. They have some concentration of business and tall buildings, but much of LA and SD is actually very spread out and has inadequate public transportation to support a more pedestrian lifestyle.
I still meet and connect with people, but around here you kinda' just have to be more willing to work for it... it's not so easy to get around as it is in more traditionally laid out cities. A huge chunk of us spend much of our lives in traffic--maybe we're not always chipper b/c of that... so maybe that's why some of us seem so unfriendly.
Another thing I will bring up is the shopping. I have had much better experiences shopping in So Cal. For the most part you are treated with so much more dignity. Many of the highend stores in NYC will treat you like crap even when they know you can afford the merchandise. Its never anything blatent but its just this slight air that your money isn't green enough or perhaps your skin isn't white enough (but thats a different issue) Some experiences that stand out to me is going to the Chanel in NY and going to the Chanel in Vegas. Now I have gone to the Chanel NY on a few occasions and have purchased suits, glasses boots shoes, skirts, etc from them each time i am there up until give them my cash & credit card they have this air about them like i can't possible afford it. They maintain a snooty are like the are the direct desendant of Coco Chanel herself.
This is so true. I'm extremely successful (not meant to brag but it's relevant here), white, blue-eyed, well dressed, and yet probably only because I'm in my early 30s and look even younger I get tons of snooty attitude and poor service in NYC - but not in OC, like in the high end stores in South Coast Plaza, I feel like I'm always treated very well and with respect. I think NYC is still old-money oriented where people assume if you don't have grey hair you're not rich, vs. California where there is so much internet-era new money.
As for racism in OC, I honestly haven't seen it at all, I think it's more of a myth than anything. Keep in mind that while OC may be economically and militarily conservative, California all over is very open-minded racially. This is a big change from Arizona where I used to live where the police are racist and especially harass mixed couples.
This is so true. I'm extremely successful (not meant to brag but it's relevant here), white, blue-eyed, well dressed, and yet probably only because I'm in my early 30s and look even younger I get tons of snooty attitude and poor service in NYC - but not in OC, like in the high end stores in South Coast Plaza, I feel like I'm always treated very well and with respect. I think NYC is still old-money oriented where people assume if you don't have grey hair you're not rich, vs. California where there is so much internet-era new money.
I agree and disagree. I think the way a person dresses affects the way they get treated at retail stores more than any other factor. I've noticed this in many stores on both coasts and in the midwest as well. And it doesn't matter if it's at Saks, Macys, or some mom and pop shop, the different reactions to what a person is wearing is pretty much the same.
The last (and best) specific example happened about 3 weeks ago at the Macy's (not even a high end store) in Fashion Island, Newport Beach, CA. I came in late one night wearing a nicer polo and plaid pants, I was golfing earlier. I bought some shirts from an older worker gentleman who seemed more than ok about staying after the 9PM closing time. He treated me with every sign of respect from the minute I asked him to find another 15 1/2 32/33 in the backroom to when he bid me good night.
Then a couple days later I had to return something, except this time I was wearing swimming shorts and a cut-off t-shirt because I had just come from a beach BBQ. Wow, the exact same guy who helped me 2 nights ago was completely rude and dismissive. First he told me I couldn't return something because the tags were off and I didn't have a receipt. I reminded him that HE was the one who told me I could return it with or without a receipt - 2 nights ago. He denied this so I whipped out my iPhone and showed him the Macy's return policy on the Macy's website as well as the electronic record of my purchase on the Macy's website.
SO anyways - eventually I got my refund but I'm pretty sure I would have gotten it much faster and in a much politer fashion if I had been dressed better.
I too am a product of new money and (not bragging but it's relevant) even though I am a multi-millionaire, every time I drive up to the Newport Country Club in my Prius the valets really treat me differently than the guy with the Bentley.
I too am a product of new money and (not bragging but it's relevant) even though I am a multi-millionaire, every time I drive up to the Newport Country Club in my Prius the valets really treat me differently than the guy with the Bentley.
Most (but not all) Prius drivers are smug tree-hugging liberals who think they're somehow better than the next guy because they pollute a tiny bit less. NOBODY likes to deal with those phonies.
They are almost invariably lousy tippers as well, unless they are spending somebody else's money.
Most (but not all) Prius drivers are smug tree-hugging liberals who think they're somehow better than the next guy because they pollute a tiny bit less. NOBODY likes to deal with those phonies.
They are almost invariably lousy tippers as well, unless they are spending somebody else's money.
'A Proud American' I haven't seen you on this board since I've been on here for months and all of a sudden you pop up out of no where writing comments immediately directed towards people's characters and stereotyping everyone as a liberal. What is your deal? Is everyone that does not agree with your thoughts on each subject a liberal? Your posts are very immature and it's quite annoying how you are pegging everyone as a liberal when you have no clue of our political backgrounds. Why are you so angry with everyone on this board? It's like you have a personal vendetta and a mission to offend and personally attack certain people
On another note, I can relate to the guy above about the NBCC, I actually belong there too, but I never do the valet : ) Best bit of advice if you want to do the valet, just get familiar with the guys who pull the cars in, Call them by name and they will not care if you pull up in a prius, s500, or a golf cart, they will treat you with respect and give you quality service.
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You make some very good points here
Like I said don't get me started on Philly. Don't get me wrong women do compliment each other in NYC sometimes and even compliment each other in Phgilly on the rare occasion but in my experience they are no where near as positive to each other and complimentary of each other than So. Cal.
This sales girl called me and since then even emails me occasionally with sales that are going on. 
and i also worry if the OC may be too boring for me but overall I think it can be a welcome change.
