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"Emo" is short for Emotionally Distrubed. It is used as an insult, but some kids pick it up as if it were an honor. It has replaced the old term "Retard" or "Looney" Some kids think it is cool to be wierd, especially in high school, so they pick up the moniker and act wierd to get attention.
Goth is just a way of dressing, wearing make up that makes you look dead and often involves acting depressed all the time. It is a trendy demand for attention just like the punkers and posers of the 1980s. Actually I think it is kind of neat dressing up like halloween ghouls every day, except the acting depressed and being negative - reminds me of Eeyore. (The Depressed Donkey from Winnie the Pooh)
Cutting is a self destructive problem that often comes from self esteem problems. Some kids join in or do it after hearing about it just to get attention. However for other kids it is a compulsive behaviour. We have a daughter who has some emotional issues that apparently arise form her essentially dying and being revived during an operation when she was 8 months old. They told us that it always has an impact on the kids. Anyway when she was around 8 or 10 years old, she hated herself because she could not control her temper. She also did not fit in at school because she was different. She liked to dress artistically but unusually, and she enoyed doing things other kids found odd (like repeatedly rolling down a hill during recess). She started cutting first her hair and then her hands. We panicked and put her in a hopsital where she was watched constantly, but we eventually found a good Dr. who explained it to us and we were able to help her learn to control her temper and like herself more. Now she is a great teenager. She is still not a mainstream type, but she is content with her place in high school society and she has finally reached the age where it is "cool" to be quirky and different, so now is more liked and respected despite some oddities in her dress and interests. She still has a wild temper, but she has learned to control it or get away from people. She is also unusually loving and compassionate and an awesome story writer. It seems possible to completely recover from such problems.
From my quick searches, it seems the causes range a multitude of mental illnesses.
Careful with that one though.
I still rarely wear shorts in the summer and when I was 15 or so I wore hoodies all the time, even in the summer. Everyone thought something was up but I was just self-conscious, I felt fat, whether I really was or not, I don't know, my mom says I wasn't but when you are 15 and wear a size 10 or 12, you certainly feel fat. Even at a size 6 now, I still hate wearing shorts and still wear hoodies all the time.
You would hate to accuse someone of something like cutting when really they just had self conscious issues going on.
No matter how much I told my mom I hated the way I look she still always accused me of the worst.
I knew a lot of kids when my kids were in school who dressed weirdly and in black, I don't know or care what label they wanted but they all grew out of it fortunately. The only kids I know who "cut" only did it superficially to get some street cred or whatever. I know it's a problem for some, but when it's gets around the school and people start talking it can alsoi become a thing to do. Sad.
I didn't like being a teenager, I had a couple of miserable, feel bad about myself, years. But we didn't do the emo/goth/vampire thing and cut ourselves. We dressed like hippies and drew peace signs on stuff even though we didn't know what we were doing.
I had to endure this “cutting” behavior with my daughter. It started when she was 13. She had moved from a small town to a large city with her mom. I’ve never actually determined how it started. The best I could tell she got to hanging around a group of people that did this for “fun” and, wanting to fit in, she started.
She is now 16 and hasn’t cut herself in over a year. But she has scars on both legs and forearms from it. She regrets doing it now and hates the scars, but there is little to be done about it. I paid thousands in private counseling and in-house treatment at the time but it didn’t work. She would get out after three weeks and do it again the same night. Her mom took every knife, blade, razor, etc. in the house and locked them up unless she was cooking or one of them needed to shave their legs. My daughter would break a class coke bottle and cut herself. She couldn’t stop her from doing it. Oddly, my daughter never cut herself when she was visiting me. Don’t know why that is. All she ever told me was cutting herself, “Made her feel alive.” I can’t say I have ever understood that comment but it was all I ever got.
As a parent you find yourself waiting for the time she cuts too deep and does some really serious damage. My daughter had to have stitches on her forearms four times. I hope your child grows out of it soon. I think that’s what happened to my daughter – grew out of it. We tried everything we could think of. I don’t think it was anything we did. You have my prayers.
For a true cutter, not the ones who are doing it to fit in or to be cool, there's an internal pressure valve that just isn't releasing. The cutter feels about to explode, mentally and/or physically. Cutting is a pressure valve. One young woman explained it this way: I'm a balloon and I'm going to explode. I am going insane and I'll never return, I will die if I don't let some air out.
And so the cut is a means for the pressure to escape. I noticed that it seems to be a frantic search for some way to STOP whatever is escalating inside. Focusing on making the cut - or cuts - is probably a form of self-control (I know, nuts) to get the racing mind from continuing its wild thought patterns - at least for the instant moment.
I knew a lot of kids when my kids were in school who dressed weirdly and in black, I don't know or care what label they wanted but they all grew out of it fortunately. .
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I used to die my hiar purple, wear spiked dog collars, cut my hair long on one side and short on the other and dance by slamming my body into other dancers until we were bleeding. I grew out of it. I have no idea whatsoever why we did that.
Now I am an attoreny at the top of my field. A community and chuch activist. No purple hair or dog collars in the courtroom. Heck they were gone by law school. No one really even believes that I used to do those things. (although I did find my spiked collar recently and my son wore it for halloween.)
I think that kids grow out of most or all of the wierd things that we do as teens. However I doubt that many people grow out of (or survive) cutting without some professional help.
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