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I was raised to believe that you can gain a lot of knowledge whether its at a 4 year, 2 year school, that its a time from growing one's mind. My parents installed in me that you should go to college-- even if you don't want to work in an office and rather use your hands. To this day I still agree.
When you have kids you begin to realize nothing is ever as you plan...lol. My son is 19 and really does not like school. I wish he appreciated learning on an educational sense but really doesn't like it. He wants to be a pilot-- hereditary from my wife's family (its in my FIL's blood). Its his passion. He started college last fall at a university in another state-- and didn't do well. He doesn't like to learn or read, unless its about piloting. Which is fine but you still need at least an AA degree to be a pilot at the commercial level. I'm trying not to worry about it but I just find it frustrating that he's not really interested in college. I'd be fine with the military as well, but he hasn't shown much interest there either.
I know one day he will be a pilot, its his dream and passion. I just wish he had more interest in learning in general. Am I a bad parent? Any thoughts?
As someone who was never really interested in formal education past high school (graduated in 2010), I can say that I wish my parents had listened to me about the things I wanted to get into (graphic design and game design) as opposed to the things they thought I should go into because money or whatever (medical, law, business, etc) and refused to help finance any college tuition unless it was a degree they approved of. I spent two years at a local university, dropped out because I got super depressed because I realized I hated why I was there and that my parents were holding my dreams financially hostage and even as an 18 year old fresh out of high school I knew student loans were predatory and not worth it.
I wouldn't say that you are a "bad" parent for wanting what you think is the best for your child, but you will be one if you push your child into a career or educational path that they don't mesh with. Some people thrive in a formal college setting, others are much better off taking up a trade and working with their hands and doing more physical labor, and still others find the military route appealing for various reasons.
If your child has a dream of being a pilot, help him by understanding exactly what he wants to do as a pilot (commercial airliners, private flying, etc) and then provide him with a clear cut path to reaching that goal. Help him understand what he would be expected to do or what educational requirements are needed to get the particular piloting license he wants, and if it turns out that the particular career he wants is not in line with his ability to survive and succeed in a place like a college or university, then he needs to make some tough decisions about his life and you need to support his decisions, whatever they may be. Any sustained resistance to his dreams or insistence to any other career path he does not display an interest in will likely result in, at best, short term resentment, frustration, and anger towards you.
Have you spoken with him aviation focused college (ERAU, NAU, etc)? Very tough to fly commercially w/o a degree (although it is possible with hours and experience) Airlines is a different story, but there is a lot of other commercial aviation outside of airlines.
For what its worth, I took time off between HS and college, got a serious job that squared me away, then went to college a few years later. It was a good decision and I'm doing well. College isn't for everyone, and shouldn't be - we're crushing these kids with debt for no reason.
Last edited by 1200RT; 04-05-2022 at 10:06 AM..
Reason: fixed spelling
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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I like to think that it's best to let them be happy with whatever they do, and it makes no sense to go into big debt for college if the person is not motivated. Our youngest didn't go, and we were disappointed, but he still ended up working up to director at a local county by age 35, at which time he did go back and get his degree. He was able to pay for it himself with no loans and still also buy a house.
about the things I wanted to get into (graphic design and game design)
Like music and many other things - you CAN succeed at these fields without a college education - but it's a heckuva lot easier WITH one. To be successful game designer is about the same as saying you want to play pro baseball. Your parents were suggesting that, on the off chance one of those fields don't work out - it wouldn't hurt to keep your day job. Still decent advice. Even you've had great success since then - it doesn't mean your case is typical. Far from it.
Same time, though - regarding the OP - it is not necessary to go to college to do something worthwhile and fulfilling - but regarding your son, it doesn't sound like he realizes Pilot school IS college. Do I want someone flying me around who was (on paper at least) book-stupid except for the "flying" part? Not sure I'm comfortable with that...
He just has to suck it up for a year or two - then he's all done "playing" college, and can move on with being a pilot.
OP, let him talk to the places that hire pilots -- a series of informational interviews. Pretty soon he'll figure out what sort of education he needs to fulfill his dream, and get it.
If he wants to fly, he was correct in not wasting his time in BS college courses that would get him no closer to what he wanted to do. When he realizes that there are certain things he must learn to be a pilot, he'd be motivated to study.
Vocational school is a better fit for some kids. Not everyone is made for college.
He does understand that he needs some college in order to get a commercial pilots license, doesn't he? If he won't do the needed college, he doesn't really want to be a pilot all that badly.
If he wants to fly jets, he needs a good solid 4 year degree and to be accepted into the air force as a pilot. Air force doesn't take anyone as a pilot who doesn't have a college degree.
Maybe he can train as a mechanic and work on airplanes.
This is all good advice- thanks.
He has to get at least an AA to fly commercially. I personally think college can be affordable if someone stays in state, lives at home, etc. There is no reason to go into massive debt for college, and there are ways to combat it. College teaches people how to think, how to solve problems and go through the critical thinking process. I don't really believe it's a waste. Now, going to school out of state, and all things associated with is an absolute poor decision.
I don't want to push him to do anything. But I will continue to encourage college but realize you can absolutely learn and develop without going to college. Vocational school is a good option for some.
All that said, becoming a pilot is a pricey endeavor. The various licenses that are required whether its Delta, SW, Alaska, etc. is very costly. Couple that with the flight time, yea its a lot. If he goes to a piloting school he will still have to get the college degree. If he goes to a school with a 'aviation' major it is very expensive because of the training.
One more thought. Quite often, kids who do not do well in school have some sort of undiagnosed learning disability. If you really would like him to go to college, pay for a reading specialist to give him some diagnostic tests and find out if he has some glitch in his way of understanding things that can be worked through and compensated for. He might be having some sort of frustration with the learning process that really isn't his fault.
This is all good advice- thanks.
He has to get at least an AA to fly commercially. I personally think college can be affordable if someone stays in state, lives at home, etc. There is no reason to go into massive debt for college, and there are ways to combat it. College teaches people how to think, how to solve problems and go through the critical thinking process. I don't really believe it's a waste. Now, going to school out of state, and all things associated with is an absolute poor decision.
I don't want to push him to do anything. But I will continue to encourage college but realize you can absolutely learn and develop without going to college. Vocational school is a good option for some.
All that said, becoming a pilot is a pricey endeavor. The various licenses that are required whether its Delta, SW, Alaska, etc. is very costly. Couple that with the flight time, yea its a lot. If he goes to a piloting school he will still have to get the college degree. If he goes to a school with a 'aviation' major it is very expensive because of the training.
If he joins the military, the training is free.
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