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Could you expand on this last part? Do you mean travel to college in the sense of going to and from the school at the start and end of the terms? Or do you mean commuting from where she lives (your house or the dorms) to her classes? If it's the former, I would recommend planes, trains, and automobiles, namely the one in which you drive her there, give her a hug goodbye, and then drive home. If it's the latter, then it's time to learn the campus shuttle system, or else buy a bicycle.
Dude, what's with all the BMW's? Get her a good used Honda or Toyota. They'll last forever without needing any parts replaced, and even when they edge toward 200K miles, they'll only need minor parts replaced. They're very practical cars. If she's not happy with that, she can get a job and buy her own car. ]
My 19 yr old daughter wants a better car. She got into 2 accidents in one year and blames her car(used car I fixed) for not meeting her safety expectations.
She's currently driving a used 2008 BMW 3 series. She drove my 2021 BMW 4 series and got into an accident with me as the passenger. Cost the insurance $6k to repair and I had to pay the deductible. Fortunately I was in the passenger seat when it happened. I had told her slow down at the intersection and look before you go and another impatient car just jumped out and she failed to stop in time. Her hesitation when turning then suddenly going fast caused the other car to misread her.
1st accident she ran to another car going too fast at a toll booth, the repair cost was $7k on my BMW X5 and had to be junked and insurance paid out.
She wants to drive a 2019+ BMW with blind spot monitoring and brake assist.
Now, I had an argument with her that she isn't driving carefully and having poor situational awareness before she makes an turns or negotiating merging and turning.
I said if she wants her own NEW car she can work and pay for it herself. If she wants a car from me and my insurance she gotta play with my rules.
I said millions of cars out there don't have these blind spot monitoring and assists. How the hell these people driving without any accidents? I've been driving for over 30 years and never gotten into 2 accidents a year. I've gotten into only 2 accidents in my life and nothing as badly as the ones she's gotten into.
I do have to ask: when she makes mistakes in parts of her daily life other than driving, is it also nearly always someone/something else's fault? Because if it is, she needs an attitude adjustment more than a new set of wheels. Unfortunately, that might end up being more effective when coming from a peer or an outside authority figure rather than a parent. On the other hand, the lessons seem to taken more to heart when they come from someone other than a parent.
If she doesn't want to walk, cycle, or ride the bus with the plebes and unwashed masses (although I think that all would likely do her a heck of a lot of good because I'm getting a strong whiff of an entitled child who doesn't realize just how privileged she is fortunate enough to be), she can content herself with a quality used economy car rather than the Bimmer that she seems to be demanding that you give to her to use.
Last edited by Formerly Known As Twenty; 06-06-2022 at 06:47 PM..
For a 19 year old, I would be buying her a cheap and crappy Nissan Altima or something similar. BMWs are for when she makes her own money. Seriously, tell she gets one more car, of your choice, and if that one gets wrecked, she's walking. In fact, she probably should not be driving at all until she learns how to pay attention. Technology is not going to fix her inattentiveness and failure to drive carefully.
I agree about if she wants a new(er) car, she pays for it all. Poor driving skills resulted in the accidents, not a car lacking all the bells and whistles.
Take her to a free BMW driving experience event.
They will have her drive with a radio walkie talkie to tell her when to brake and accelerate!
Sometimes it hard to give her the ultimatum or hardline rule. Since whatever trouble she gets involved it manifest itself back to me with even more problems tacked on. Hard to win here, if I did not intervene and helped her she would have no ride to school now that the covid is over and she has to travel back to college.
How about investing in some driving classes? Maybe a few hours with a professional teacher would help her.
This is a very good idea. And she'd probably pay better attention to the instructor's instructions, since it's an official teacher, and a stranger. Not "just" dad, whom she may have a habit of tuning out, occasionally. Too close a personal relationship, perhaps.
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