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And not all young people are like this. A couple years ago we sold an older Toyota Camry for $2000 to a young college girl who was absolutely THRILLED to get it, and paid for it with her own money. I bet she'll take care of it, too.
Living in an extremely affluent area as I do now, and seeing the children of that affluence, I wonder how they'll cope when the continuous stream of money, support, and fixing problems from Mommy and Daddy dries up. I don't see a lot of competence at dealing on one's own with things gone wrong, being built in that lifestyle.
And not all young people are like this. A couple years ago we sold an older Toyota Camry for $2000 to a young college girl who was absolutely THRILLED to get it, and paid for it with her own money. I bet she'll take care of it, too.
Living in an extremely affluent area as I do now, and seeing the children of that affluence, I wonder how they'll cope when the continuous stream of money, support, and fixing problems from Mommy and Daddy dries up. I don't see a lot of competence at dealing on one's own with things gone wrong, being built in that lifestyle.
For a lot of people, it doesn't "dry up". I work with a lot of people who are still funding their fully-employed adult children's lifestyles. Whether it be rent, insurance, car, clothing stipends...they continue to fund, so the adult child never learns that sometimes, you have to sacrifice.
Sometimes it hard to give her the ultimatum or hardline rule. Since whatever trouble she gets involved it manifest itself back to me with even more problems tacked on. Hard to win here, if I did not intervene and helped her she would have no ride to school now that the covid is over and she has to travel back to college.
I didn’t have a car in college and somehow I made it through :::shrug:::
if someone has already had two accidents, no, the solution is not to get them a better car.
she can get a different car, when either
(a) she can pay for the insurance and gas herself.
or (b) when she can pay for the new car herself, plus pay for gas and insurance herself.
i got through high school and four years of university without having a car.
and i had a bunch of different jobs too.
bus, subway, and on university campus rode a bicycle everywhere.
even the bike wasn't new. there was such a high bike theft on campus, that i took the advice of others and found "abandoned" bikes which were not locked, and used those. I did this for four years. worked great. the bike theft rings were so advanced they would literally pull up to bike racks, with dozens of the really expensive bikes chained and locked to it, with really expensive chains and locks, and they would use sophisticated equipment to hoist the entire bike rack with bikes into a big truck and drive off.
she can figure it out. when its her money and she keeps wrecking cars, she will find a way to navigate.
valuable life lesson. the sooner she learns it, the better skills she will have to cope with the real world and daily life as a grown-up.
Sometimes it hard to give her the ultimatum or hardline rule. Since whatever trouble she gets involved it manifest itself back to me with even more problems tacked on. Hard to win here, if I did not intervene and helped her she would have no ride to school now that the covid is over and she has to travel back to college.
No, it's not hard to give an ultimatum, not if you want her to develop into a decent person who takes responsibility for her own situation, good and bad. My own parents had no problems putting me in my place and taking things away if I deserved it. They never spoiled me, and I'm thankful for that, when I see how the younger generations are turning out. Your daughter sounds like a real brat, and she wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes in the house where I grew up.
And poor baby... is the bus not good enough for her? When I was going to and from school on weekends, more times than not I would take Greyhound or Trailways back home, and sometimes back to school as well. It may humble her to be made to take public transportation rather than driving a BMW at 19.
Exactly. OP needs to hand this kid a roll of toilet paper and tell her it time she learns to wipe her own butt.
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