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If you have to move then you have to move and the kids have to go with you. When they don't have other options, they adapt.
Even when they stay in one place their entire school career, they will switch friends and people will move in and move out which changes their friend dynamics.
The natural elementary > middle > high everyone has to go through - the positive is your child will likely still be with their friends
The unpredictable move - parents move cities, states, locations, rezone, etc - your child loses all their friends and starts over
It depends on the kid's personality. Outgoing, extroverted kids will do fine. Shy, introvert kids will have a harder time. Kids on the Autism scale will have a harder time. A lot of this is inherited traits which kids/parents don't have control over.
We moved five times before my kids were in high school - each kid reacted according to their personality.
Kids did fine when moving during elementary school. Although it was tough for the one child who moved to an online school the last couple of HS years, the natural transitions were pretty easy, as they still had people they knew.
I was in 8 different schools from 4th-12th grade. Elementary was easy. It was the same 30 kids all day so you got to know them. But JH and HS were much more difficult. People have started to get in their cliques and friend groups. When moving after 10th grade it was particularly difficult. I was pretty shy and introverted. I had an acquaintance who was one of the most popular girls in my school who also moved after 10th grade and also had difficulty. So its not just shy kids who may struggle in the later grades.
Oldest we moved mid year, actually closer to the end in 1st grade and she had a little bit of a tough transition. While she made a few in-class friends the following year, but she didn't really develop any close type friendships until at least the 3rd grade. She had just developed a group of close friendships and a best friend in her previous school and we did feel really bad taking her out of her school, but it was a pretty dangerous situation we had at our previous home, so we had to move fast.
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I was raised in an Air Force family, and we moved every couple years, which worked out fine for my childhood. ALL the kids had moved every couple years, and were looking to make friendships, so . . . good.
Then my dad retired to a small town in Texas when I was in 6th grade, where all the kids in the school had been born in the same small town hospital, as their parents had also, and everyone knew each other but I didn't know anyone or speak with their same southern accent.
It was completely traumatizing.
I met my husband in College, and his dad had been in oil and gas, and they had also moved all over all the time. He moved to Texas in his Junior year of high school, and was also traumatized by that.
When we married we decided we were going to put down roots and stay there until our kids graduated high school with the kids they went to preschool with, and we did that.
I think that's a better way to live. Go to kindergarten with the same kids you graduate high school with. Make deep connections.
It depends on the kid's personality. Outgoing, extroverted kids will do fine. Shy, introvert kids will have a harder time. Kids on the Autism scale will have a harder time. A lot of this is inherited traits which kids/parents don't have control over.
We moved five times before my kids were in high school - each kid reacted according to their personality.
I agree. It depends on kid's personality. But also how fast kids will like their new environment. My nephew has changed 3 schools with no issues, while my niece, who is very shy, could not adapt at all.
for us it was terrifying but easy in the end. kids are pretty resilient and will make new friends. in fact, their new schools are so much nicer and better run. totally worth it.
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