Is getting glasses/braces/haircut too much for one day? Any ideas to help son with big change? (teens, boys)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Basically, my 12 year-old needs get a bunch done before school starts.
1. He needs to pick up his glasses and start getting use to wearing them. He really wants contacts but the doctor says he needs to wait six months to adjust the prescription. He says if he wears them at all times consistently, in 6 months he can switch to contacts. 2. He also needs braces. 3. He needs a short haircut for school requirements. He's known about this all summer, and whenever we have suggested he get his hair slowly cut shorter over the summer, he's pushed back on it.
I only have one day off where the places are all open, so I arranged it so we pick up the glasses in the morning. Then to barber. I figure since he'll be wearing the glasses then the barber can help with a style that fits. Then lunch at wherever he wants, and finally braces.
He is not super happy about the whole thing, he said we are turning him into a nerd in one day. But also it's easier scheduling wise, and also perhaps easier adjustment wise for him to just get it all done at once. But also, it's a big change for anyone much less a pre-teen.
Tell him I once had a friend who got braces, wore a full back brace due to scoliosis AND lost only half of her hair to chemo in our sophomore year of high school. She lamented that she got the hat trick of awful things for teens to suffer. However, she rolled with it, owned it, and in the end because she handled it with such grace, no one ever made fun of her.
Glasses are no longer considered nerdy. A haircut is nothing to be worried about - especially if all the boys at school are required to have short hair. And most kids have to have braces at some point.
Tell him I once had a friend who got braces, wore a full back brace due to scoliosis AND lost only half of her hair to chemo in our sophomore year of high school. She lamented that she got the hat trick of awful things for teens to suffer. However, she rolled with it, owned it, and in the end because she handled it with such grace, no one ever made fun of her.
Glasses are no longer considered nerdy. A haircut is nothing to be worried about - especially if all the boys at school are required to have short hair. And most kids have to have braces at some point.
So I'm not sure what he's worried about?
So in other words, snap out of it? What an unsympathetic response.
OP, these ARE big changes all at once for a 12-year-old. I think you need to acknowledge his feelings. Something like, "I know. This is a lot all at once. I get how you're feeling."
Help him look at it rationally. The haircut has to be done -- school rules. And all the other boys who follow the school rules will have short haircuts. The glasses are for six months, then contacts, but only if you wear the glasses all the time for six months. And braces? Yeah, they suck. There's no getting around that. But they are necessary to maintain dental health.
Give him hugs. Being 12 is miserable enough as it is, without all these big changes.
Braces come in many colors so they can be a fashion statement and the colors can be changed as the braces are adjusted. Makes your son part of the process rather than the victim. He can get braces in the colors of his school or his favorite sports team!
"Blue is a great color for boys to wear. Usually, a darker blue is an excellent choice for boys. A light blue doesn’t typically fit in well with boys because it stands out and makes it easier to see the brackets. Usually darker a darker like midnight blue, dark blue and so forth are a great color which helps fit in not only with braces but the clothes you are wearing."
Guys tend to look best in darker braces colors (this is true for anyone looking for a more masculine presentation). A darker palette is a suitable match for some of the darker menswear, including blue or black suits. Consider hunter green, dark violet, or navy blue rubber bands to complement your braces for a more masculine presentation. For guys with lighter skin tones, darker colors may compliment you best, including bronze, dark red, or even silver. Guys with darker skin may opt for a brighter color, such as deep green or turquoise. It’s best to avoid the darkest colors, like black and brown, because they can make your teeth look stained – and yellow, white, and clear will discolor easily, so avoid those as well. Remember – everyone’s personality is unique, so the color scheme you choose should reflect your unique self!
He's worried about being a social outcast. Because pre-teens and teens tend to think that the entire world has it all together, except for themselves, and the rest of the world has nothing better to do than to find the flaws in you. It's highly likely that he isn't giving any thought to the fact that the rest of the boys in his class will also need to get haircuts, and that some of his classmates may also have new glasses or braces.
OP, I recommend lots of spoiling on this day. His choice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (within the boundaries of caring for his new braces). Ice cream. More screen time than normal. Later bed time. Stuff like that. Rewards for handling all these big changes with the calm and the grace that hopefully he will exhibit.
OP, the trick is to find an eyewear source that has truly a wide variety of selections. These days, what qualifies as a "wide variety" means overized clunky styles in a variety of colors and shapes. IDK about your son, but that doesn't do it for me. I love to shop for frames if there's a selection of smaller, sporty, wire rim or rimless styles in arty colors (purple, green, teal, etc.) There are European companies, that come out with creative looks, Italian companies with jazzy hand-painted frames, and so on. (Some of this would depend on your budget, but it's possible to find some attractive but off-the-beaten-path styles even at under $100. Or depending on your insurance, insurance may pay for most of the cost of the frames.)
IOW, the key is to get glasses that make a cool fashion statement. It's definitely doable, but may require a search of your city, to find a vendor that focuses on getting creative with their inventory.
RE: the haircut: what kind of school is this, that requires short hair? Is this a private school? Or do you live in a conservative community? Is there no other choice of school, that fits your academic criteria? If I were your son, I'd do my best to dodge the haircut requirement. It sounds like a potential discrimination case against boys.
So in other words, snap out of it? What an unsympathetic response.
OP, these ARE big changes all at once for a 12-year-old. I think you need to acknowledge his feelings. Something like, "I know. This is a lot all at once. I get how you're feeling."
Help him look at it rationally. The haircut has to be done -- school rules. And all the other boys who follow the school rules will have short haircuts. The glasses are for six months, then contacts, but only if you wear the glasses all the time for six months. And braces? Yeah, they suck. There's no getting around that. But they are necessary to maintain dental health.
Give him hugs. Being 12 is miserable enough as it is, without all these big changes.
That's good to point out that all the boys will have short hair. If anything it would be more awkward to be the one boy with long hair (who would probably told to get a haircut). And many of them will have glasses and braces.
He's worried about being a social outcast. Because pre-teens and teens tend to think that the entire world has it all together, except for themselves, and the rest of the world has nothing better to do than to find the flaws in you. It's highly likely that he isn't giving any thought to the fact that the rest of the boys in his class will also need to get haircuts, and that some of his classmates may also have new glasses or braces.
OP, I recommend lots of spoiling on this day. His choice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (within the boundaries of caring for his new braces). Ice cream. More screen time than normal. Later bed time. Stuff like that. Rewards for handling all these big changes with the calm and the grace that hopefully he will exhibit.
Yeah. He's mentioned that he's turning into a nerd on monday lol. Which is ridiculous because to be honest, the style of glasses he chose look really good on him and I think he is going rock the haircut.
I was definitely going to take him to a nice lunch. and maybe shopping for some clothes, something out of school uniform he can wear outside of school so he still feels like he has some control over his fashion (maybe a few days later!)
If he wants to hear about the experiences of a random poster on the internet, tell him that having braces was probably the most positive experience of my life. The end results far outweighed the two years of having them.
My son was 12 when he got braces and glasses. I let him pick out the frames, and he also picks the colors that go in his mouth.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
