Daughter's invite to her friends for her b-day sleep over

[wasel]

Originally Posted by msRB311

I would probably still send a follow up text to the moms and say to keep this on the DL

Originally Posted by bu2

I would want to know that the parents were aware of what was going on.

I agree.Plus, just because the kids RSVPd doesn't mean THEY asked their parents if it's ok to attend. 12 year olds generally aren't in charge of the family social calendar.



Your 12 year old is, well, just that. So what if she was "adament" that you not call the mom and introduce yourself. She is not mature enough to think big picture. Let her be mad.


Daughter sent the invites and can plan details of the party, so there's plenty of opportunities for her to "feel like a grownup" but you can also model what "grownup" is by giving a child's parent the courtesy of an introduction.

[Riley.]

Originally Posted by RubyandPearl

12 is barely out of childhood, still fairly young.

Daughter's objection to you being involved in her social events is immature and not realistic on her part. 12 year olds are capable of making very poor decisions without some adult oversight.

I would explain to my 12 yo daughter that she is still under parental supervision and will be until she's 18. If she gets "mad" explain that the party will be called off if her attitude doesn't improve.

I'd send all the moms a quick email confirming the invite, including the new girl's mother. And I wouldn't keep it on the downlow but tell my daughter that I was doing it and why. It's being a responsible parent.

Hope everything works out and the girls have fun.

Amen.....she's 12!!
If she doesn't like it, party cancelled!

[charmed hour]

I'd definitely send the moms a text. It says the daughter took care of the invites and responses, it does not say she spoke with moms. Kids that age often commit themselves to stuff without talking to their parents first. I know a few times I did and my mom was not at all pleased. So, just because the girls said they are coming doesn't mean they actually received permission to so.

And even if I'm off base above and the kids do have parental permission, I'd still want to reach out as the host/be reached out to a mom of a guest.

[Lodestar]

Good communication with other kid's family members is crucial to good parenting. I would continue this, though perhaps more casually, until they are independent.

I found out the hard way that the home all the kids wanted to hang out at was the home where mom smoked pot with them. She also verified sleep overs that didn't happen - the kids ran wild all night.

[njmom66]

Originally Posted by RubyandPearl

12 is barely out of childhood, still fairly young.

Daughter's objection to you being involved in her social events is immature and not realistic on her part. 12 year olds are capable of making very poor decisions without some adult oversight.

I would explain to my 12 yo daughter that she is still under parental supervision and will be until she's 18. If she gets "mad" explain that the party will be called off if her attitude doesn't improve.

I'd send all the moms a quick email confirming the invite, including the new girl's mother. And I wouldn't keep it on the downlow but tell my daughter that I was doing it and why. It's being a responsible parent.

Hope everything works out and the girls have fun.

This.

[twinkletwinkle22]

OP
You can making this a teachable event by explaining to your daughter that she can be in charge of invitations and events but adults need to be talked to by you because they have responsibility for their children's safety and driving them, etc.
You and your daughter are both involved in different areas.

As she gets older this talk will be very valuable so she knows she in not in charge of everything in her life, you are always involved. Until eventually she is in charge.