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Now that she is 12, she has become big time, as I joke lol, she doesn't want mommy involved in any plan making. I also know the parents of all her friends. One mom I am friends with on the outside. Anyway,
when she does go out on the weekends sometimes with friends, she does all the arranging now. She will tell me whose picking-up up or dropping off.
Anyway, last year she had 4 girls over for a sleepover, and with the exception of our neighbor who she is always with, I texted the moms to let them know about it. This year, she invited the same girls again, but extended the invite herself. There is just one friend from her sports team coming this year who wasn't invited last year. I asked her if she wanted me to reach out to their moms, she was adamant she didn't want me to and she wasn't a baby. They all told her right after her invite they can come.
Do I need to send a follow up text to the moms? Or just go that they already know about it? Obviously, I will be home and greeting all the parents to let them know when to pick the girls up. Only one mom I have no contact info for so, would have to find her on FB if I wanted to contact her before the party..
Hmm..... There's only one mom you don't know, and that's the new girl's mom, is that right? The girl who wasn't in last year's sleepover group? I'd reach out to that mom with a friendly sort of "welcome" note, introducing yourself, say you're looking forward to meeting her at the drop-off, and confirming the the event. She doesn't know you either, so if she's approved her daughter's attendance, she's trusting that you're an OK Person, going on faith. In that case, it would be a good idea to reach out to her as a gesture, to confirm the event is happening as presented by her daughter.
I remember going through that stage you're daughter's at. It was a transition from my mom being involved in my guests' activities, maybe driving us somewhere, or maybe making us lunch, or whatever, to us doing everything for ourselves, entertaining ourselves by coming up with our own activities around town, and getting home in time for dinner. After the first of these overnights, I heard my mom saying to someone over the phone, "Easiest guest I ever had!" Well....yeah. We're growing up, and can structure our own day, and do things independently now. Welcome to the "tween" years, mom!
Seriously, I am not sure what is the point of the note to the mothers? Your daughter invited the girls. If they received the invitation and are allowed to go, then they show up. If not, they don't. If any of the mothers (especially the new one) have questions, they can reach out to you (obtaining your contact info via their daughter/ your daughter).
What is the benefit of sending a separate note from you, especially considering your daughter asked you not to?
Seriously, I am not sure what is the point of the note to the mothers? Your daughter invited the girls. If they received the invitation and are allowed to go, then they show up. If not, they don't. If any of the mothers (especially the new one) have questions, they can reach out to you (obtaining your contact info via their daughter/ your daughter).
What is the benefit of sending a separate note from you, especially considering your daughter asked you not to?
I would want to know that the parents were aware of what was going on.
Yes, but the daughter already made people aware of what is going on. If the other parents have questions and concerns, they can reach out to you
She made other non-driving age children aware of what's going on.
It's good to make other parents feel comfortable if you're going to be hosting their kids. And kids are notoriously forgetful about telling you things until right at the last minute.
12 is barely out of childhood, still fairly young.
Daughter's objection to you being involved in her social events is immature and not realistic on her part. 12 year olds are capable of making very poor decisions without some adult oversight.
I would explain to my 12 yo daughter that she is still under parental supervision and will be until she's 18. If she gets "mad" explain that the party will be called off if her attitude doesn't improve.
I'd send all the moms a quick email confirming the invite, including the new girl's mother. And I wouldn't keep it on the downlow but tell my daughter that I was doing it and why. It's being a responsible parent.
Yes, but the daughter already made people aware of what is going on. If the other parents have questions and concerns, they can reach out to you
I agree with this.
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. They all told her right after her invite they can come. 
There's only one mom you don't know, and that's the new girl's mom, is that right? The girl who wasn't in last year's sleepover group? I'd reach out to that mom with a friendly sort of "welcome" note, introducing yourself, say you're looking forward to meeting her at the drop-off, and confirming the the event. She doesn't know you either, so if she's approved her daughter's attendance, she's trusting that you're an OK Person, going on faith. In that case, it would be a good idea to reach out to her as a gesture, to confirm the event is happening as presented by her daughter.
