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It's not a phobia. Pregnancy and childbirth is the most difficult and dangerous "normalized" medical procedure we have in modern society. It is stupid that we haven't made significant progress on an alternative like artificial wombs. Pay some other woman to take the risk, instead.
Be a man and protect your woman. Work harder and / or longer and make enough money to hire a surrogate if you really want kids.
Don't be a weasel and try to pressure your woman into pregnancy through therapy or some other bs because you can't or don't want to pay for a surrogate. Women aren't stupid. Your wife will always look down on you as less of a man because you took the easy route and pushed the burden on her, even if it never comes out in so many words.
Adoption is also an option, but it takes a special kind of parent to raise a.child that's not your blood.
Are you for real? I pity your husband if you have one. Women have given birth since the beginning of time
His wife will "always look down" on him for not hiring a surrogate??? Maybe HE will "always look down" on HER for being such a coward.
You're being weird. C-sections HURT afterward, and it takes a while until you can sit up from a lying down position. All your ab muscles are cut through.
There are people who don't experience pain, I guess, but that's not typical. The rest of us soldier on, with normal physiologies and normal pain. And I was up and around walking and carrying my babies the day after my c-sections, but I CERTAINLY wouldn't have said something like "why did it hurt". No one experiences NO PAIN after a c-section.
I had two c-sections. They medicate you in the hospital so you don't realize how bad the pain really is. With the first baby I remember them giving me a prescription for pain pills that we could have filled at the hospital pharmacy but I wasn't in that much pain so I figured we could just leave and fill it later. Bad move.
After the drive home from the hospital and getting back inside the house the pain medicine that I was on started to wear off. Within a couple of hours the pain was pretty horrible. My husband had to go get that prescription filled ASAP. With the second baby I knew to get that prescription filled BEFORE we left the hospital.
I don't know how anyone can say that c-section recovery is easy and painless. It is absolutely not. You don't know how much you use your abs - from getting in/out of a car/chair/bed to bending down to pick something up, to even pushing a stroller or walking up/down stairs.
This doesn't help the Op. But there is no painless way to get a 7 or 8 pound, on average, baby out of your body. Of course it hurts. If the Op's wife wants to be a mother and the fear of being in pain is debilitating to her mentally/emotionally then adoption is an option. I suppose surrogacy is an option, too, but egg retrieval is not exactly painless, either. But there are a ton of other things like dental work. appendectomies and other surgeries that are painful, too. At least with childbirth there is the reward of a precious little baby.
True, most doctors would rather do a c section.
Or you could have a surrogate.
My niece sadly could not bare a child. They hired a surrogate. The child was 100% of their genes. The lady who carried to term was healthy and decent.
Yes I can understand a medical doctor laying out the pros and cons of a lady carrying during the 40 age group and above. It's wise to openly lay out the data. I highly doubt this doctor did anything other then lay out the stats and her personal medical history that deserves acknowledging.
My best friend chose not to have kids. She sincerely had no motherly instinct. She loved her body and refused to marr it. I respected her honesty. She certainly did the world much good in other areas of life.
Your wife may need to dig deep on which side of the tracks she stands. I'm sure you'll both make a positive choice whatever it is.
The problem with this idea is that in order to retrieve eggs to create an embryo for a surrogate, there are many injections of hormones involved.
I have not read all the posts, but it seems to me this is about a lot more than a fear of the pain of childbirth. A grown woman who cries all day about getting an injection is very messed up, and childish.
OP married this woman, who sounds mentally ill. It’s too bad, but she needs more help than we can give.
I also think she needs to get her anxiety under control, not just about the pregnancy but children need parents with a certain level of confidence, calmness and maturity...... the whole role model thing.
At this point it seems like your wife has more than enough anxiety concerns than to add to them, before getting a handle on what she is already experiencing.
The pressure of time and hurrying this whole process along based on age is worrisome; there are many other options available like surrogacy and/or adoption, once your wife receives some therapy to help her with her anxiety disorder (which sounds quite extreme to be honest) before adding this huge life step to the mix.
One must be able to take care of oneself before being able to care for a child, and right now I think your wife is needing some help of her own. Please do not talk her into doing this.
If she's afraid of needles, there are procedures she would be advised to undergo during pregnancy - the gestational diabetes test involves a blood test a while after guzzling glucose, and at her age, an amniocentesis (which I found painless, in spite of the basketball-inflating needle size).
Would she be able to actually take a child to the doctor for vaccinations or health issues requiring a blood draw?
To the person who thinks I'm nasty: People die every day in different ways. Every animal on earth gives birth; it's natural, women are not special.
Unlike other species, women have the CHOICE as to when, or if, they are going to have a baby.
She's made her choice, she has her reasons, and no one has any business saying that she's wrong. If the OP wasn't smart enough to have this conversation about having or not having kids before he married her, than that's HIS problem, now, not hers. He has no right to try to force her into it.
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