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I would love to hear your thoughts….on excitement & anticipation but also fears & hesitation. All welcome & no judgment. Thank you!
I was 20 when I had my first, 28 when I had my second and last. The pregnancies were totally different, so were the births, except for I did not have much labor pains with either.
With my son, I had a back ache, went to the gyno who said I was in labor, to go to the hospital, they would break my water, then went into active labor for about 2 hours. I was admitted over a week due to an infection, my MIL took my son home until they discharged me.
My daughter was a scheduled induction because I didn't want to have her the next day because my MIL's oldest son who drowned saving a girl was born on that day. They checked me when I was admitted, I would have gone into labor anyway. The started the pitocen, it didn't take long before I was delivering, I think it was 2 hours. They almost didn't get me to the delivery room in time, she came out that quick. I barely had to push which is the opposite of having my son. It took a bit to push him out. I was discharged quickly, went to a wedding the next day.
The thing I did different between my two pregnancies is I regularly saw a chiropractor when I was pregnant with my daughter. I think my pelvis was in much better alignment in order for her to easily come out. I know others who also saw one who said the same thing.
Back when I had my son, there weren't ultrasounds, so we didn't know what gender we would have, with my daughter 8 years later, ultrasounds were fairly new, they told me that even though it looked like a girl, the test was not 100% back then which I didn't believe because you could tell she was a girl lol
I really didn't have any worries or hesitations with either of them. My son wasn't planned but my daughter was. I always knew I didn't only want one.
When you have a baby, after carrying them for 9 months, its very emotional when they put them on your chest in the delivery room. Everyone has a different experience, some bond right away while some do not. There's a thread about delivery in this section.
It's amazing to watch all of the changes they go through in the first year of life when they start as a helpless baby to some being able to walk and talk by their first birthday.
Being a parent is very rewarding, but there are some days and nights when you may not get much sleep, the baby may be fussy because they're teething. It gets easier with time.
I was 33, working full time 60+ hours/week, when I became pregnant with our first baby. We hadn't planned on having a child right then but we were happy when we found out that I was pregnant. Long story short, I thought that I could keep up the same schedule when I was pregnant which I did for most of my pregnancy. Looking back, I wish I had dialed my hours back before my doctor took me out of work to rest at home at 36 weeks. I wasn't on bed rest, but my doctor told me I needed to stay at home and take it easy. No going to work, no chores at home, no running errands, just stay at home and relax - not an easy thing for a doer to do. As it turns out, when I went in for a routine prenatal check and was placed on the fetal heart rate monitor, the baby's heart rate had a decel or two that didn't come right back up so the doctor directed me to go straight to the hospital. Long story short, the baby's heart rate was fine when I got there and they were planning to induce me when suddenly there was another prolonged decel and I was taken into the OR for an emergency C-section. Minutes later my healthy baby boy was born.
2.5 years later, I had another c-section and another healthy baby boy, only this c-section was planned and by this point I was a stay at home mom. Much, much easier experience.
So, my advice to expectant mothers would be 1) Pace yourself properly 2) Get proper rest 3) Go to all of your prenatal appointments 4) Don't get your heart set on the birth going any particular way 5) Enjoy every minute of your little ones, they grow up so fast.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,570,402 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr
Have you guys decided to have kid(s)?
We are talking super seriously about it now. So I have reached out to a lot of other women my age who are thinking about it or who may already be pregnant to share their thoughts. I just can’t explain the excitement AND hesitation….it leaves me so indecisive. I can’t be the only one who feels this way tho. It doesn’t help that my husband is older & he is kind of leaving it up to me. We know we would be happy with a baby or childless….it’s just a super different direction.
My mom thinks I’m giving it too much thought…BUT she wants a grandbaby ofc. AND my friends who are pregnant or have babies want me to join them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by springfieldva
Enjoy every minute of your little ones, they grow up so fast.
My mom used to tell us this all the time while we were growing up. It’s those little shared moments we remember.
We are talking super seriously about it now. So I have reached out to a lot of other women my age who are thinking about it or who may already be pregnant to share their thoughts. I just can’t explain the excitement AND hesitation….it leaves me so indecisive. I can’t be the only one who feels this way tho. It doesn’t help that my husband is older & he is kind of leaving it up to me. We know we would be happy with a baby or childless….it’s just a super different direction.
My mom thinks I’m giving it too much thought…BUT she wants a grandbaby ofc. AND my friends who are pregnant or have babies want me to join them.
I can’t tell you how much it annoys me that people outside a marriage think they have a right to pressure or influence you to have a child to meet their needs.
Having a child is such a profound and life-altering decision that you and your spouse have to be 100% wholeheartedly onboard with. This isn’t something one spouse leaves up to the other to decide. If it’s not a resounding yes, it’s a no, imo.
If I recall correctly, you were adamant that you would be child-free and enjoy the lifestyle you’ve become accustomed to. What changed?
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,570,402 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by westminster88
Worst.
Reasons.
Ever.
Please don't let these pressures enter your mind.
ITA. My mom & friends aren’t pressuring me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katnan
I can’t tell you how much it annoys me that people outside a marriage think they have a right to pressure or influence you to have a child to meet their needs.
edit: AND, nobody is pressuring me. That’s super different than my friends having their own opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katnan
Having a child is such a profound and life-altering decision that you and your spouse have to be 100% wholeheartedly onboard with. This isn’t something one spouse leaves up to the other to decide. If it’s not a resounding yes, it’s a no, imo.
ITA. It is a resounding yes either way from my husband….he is super supportive. He also knows that I’m the one that will have to go through the pregnancy & I would want to be home with the baby for a couple of yrs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katnan
If I recall correctly, you were adamant that you would be child-free and enjoy the lifestyle you’ve become accustomed to. What changed?
We still may stay child free…nothing has changed yet, but I haven’t put it away & shut the door. I still think about it a little…especially after my pregnancy scare I had awhile ago.
I’m only adamant that it’s the couple’s choice AND that marriage is not only for the purpose of having babies, like a lot of ppl say in here. It’s 2022.
Last edited by TashaPosh; 05-29-2022 at 06:22 PM..
We are talking super seriously about it now. So I have reached out to a lot of other women my age who are thinking about it or who may already be pregnant to share their thoughts. I just can’t explain the excitement AND hesitation….it leaves me so indecisive. I can’t be the only one who feels this way tho. It doesn’t help that my husband is older & he is kind of leaving it up to me. We know we would be happy with a baby or childless….it’s just a super different direction.
My mom thinks I’m giving it too much thought…BUT she wants a grandbaby ofc. AND my friends who are pregnant or have babies want me to join them.
My mom used to tell us this all the time while we were growing up. It’s those little shared moments we remember.
Thank you for your thoughts.^^
I know he is older, in his 40's already. I also know the plan was to be child free. I think you two should make up your mind ASAP because if you're going to do it, do it now since he is in his 40's.
I know he's lost an infant that he did not get to grieve. I can see him being happy if you did decide to have at least one. You never know, after you have one, you may just realize you want two, then that's it.
What is the hesitation about? Maybe some of us can help you, answer some questions about what's bothering you.
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AND my friends who are pregnant or have babies want me to join them.
