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Old 03-14-2023, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,773 posts, read 34,497,732 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
This part really stood out to me. I don't know how many times I heard those exact words whenever I did something successful. Yet at the same time I noticed that whenever athletes were successful, those same people who told me "not to be proud" or "nobody likes a know-it-all" were first in line leading the cheering of "you're the greatest" for the guy who scored the touchdown or threw the pass or pitched a no hitter.

Funny how academic success was used against you, but athletic success was rejoiced.
I recently read something about the LinkedIn type "I'm extremely humbled to announce my promotion to..." kind of social media. The joke is that these announcements are always couched in that kind of humblebrag language, because if you did say, "I'm awesome at my job and deserve this" people would think you're a jerk, even if you're not.
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Old 03-14-2023, 12:04 PM
 
Location: Southern MN
12,098 posts, read 8,483,847 times
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Wikipedia has a pretty good summary of the phenomena. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

I was first introduced to the concept in the late 70s as a problem aggravated by growing up in a dysfunctional family.

It's interesting to note that those who commonly suffer with this are already high achievers and perfectionists. It might work something like this: "Sure, I passed all the tests and qualifications but if they only knew how hard I had to study to do it they'd all know I didn't know anything at all. I just learned how to look like it." Somehow there is always a reason you aren't quite good enough.

Of course there has to be a lot of fear with this lack of self-confidence. I'd dare say that many who are plagued with these notions are operating on concern of what others think and "what ifs." External locus of control.
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Old 03-14-2023, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,427 posts, read 14,745,069 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
This part really stood out to me. I don't know how many times I heard those exact words whenever I did something successful. Yet at the same time I noticed that whenever athletes were successful, those same people who told me "not to be proud" or "nobody likes a know-it-all" were first in line leading the cheering of "you're the greatest" for the guy who scored the touchdown or threw the pass or pitched a no hitter.

Funny how academic success was used against you, but athletic success was rejoiced.
Yeah the way I saw it (from the perspective of a girl) is that my parents wanted a child who showed some sort of performative talent. So music, dancing, tumbling or sports...someone who could get out there and do a thing while everybody watched and clapped, and win awards and that, they could have been proud of. Also preferably a pretty girl and one with lots of cute little friends. And I had NONE of that going for me.

Instead I enjoyed reading and making art, and I was a gifted child early on but eventually as a teenager kind of wandered from my academic paths...(I am learning now, a lot of what I experienced might have connections to undiagnosed ADHD and those of us who were in the gifted programs and whatnot.) I don't know but there are two words that still make me want to snarl with a bit of anger, "potential" and "disappointed."

I was also shy and awkward as a child but outgoing and socially capable as an adult, so while I do just fine around people, I still remember very vividly the discomfort of being a hardcore introvert in a social situation I wish with all my soul I could have avoided. I've been there and felt that and it definitely left a mark.

MY imposter syndrome now is that I've got friends who do all of these incredible things, and I am thrilled to surround myself with such stimulating company but at the same time I constantly worry that they might find me boring. I mean, among my "people" I've got fire spinners and massage therapists and musicians and world travelers, wildlife rehabbers, clothing designers, club owners, hearse collectors, aircraft pilots, writers, dance instructors, rock stars of middling fame (I know guys in GWAR).... And I'm just over here like, I...um. I make spreadsheets? And rarely I make a piece of art that isn't terrible? So how do I cope, I learned to take anything that happens and structure it into a witty anecdote. I tell stories. I'm a storyteller! That's what I do. They are true stories, I try very hard to make boring things entertaining. Because that's what I am about, what I am doing, trying to make my otherwise boring self (my parents didn't even want to hang out with me for crying out loud, so!) into someone interesting enough to keep these stimulating individuals around.

There ya go. That's all it is. I hate being bored and I don't want to be boring, and I'm (usually) quietly afraid that I am.

I wonder if most people have some concept of what failure looks like, that drives some kind of anxiety gremlin and how they define themselves and what they do in life...or whether most people don't have that, or whether they do but they just never really thought about it?
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Old 03-14-2023, 12:12 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,773 posts, read 34,497,732 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
I wonder if most people have some concept of what failure looks like, that drives some kind of anxiety gremlin and how they define themselves and what they do in life...or whether most people don't have that, or whether they do but they just never really thought about it?
The part of the article in the OP questioning if Imposter Syndrome is a "white person problem" was interesting. I'm thinking about how, as a middle-class college educated white person, why would I question my place in a society that was designed to support people like me? It's a good question.
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Old 03-14-2023, 04:29 PM
 
Location: Southern MN
12,098 posts, read 8,483,847 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
The part of the article in the OP questioning if Imposter Syndrome is a "white person problem" was interesting. I'm thinking about how, as a middle-class college educated white person, why would I question my place in a society that was designed to support people like me? It's a good question.
Read the Wiki page, fleetibelle. People of Color aren't spared.

It's a psychological issue, not a political one.
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Old 03-15-2023, 05:15 AM
 
9,952 posts, read 6,713,407 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar View Post
Read the Wiki page, fleetibelle. People of Color aren't spared.

It's a psychological issue, not a political one.
I would say it is probably worse. How many people do we see on CD saying X or Y person only got the job because they’re a PoC? They’re implying that the only people qualified to do the job are white, and often times a white men at that. It is the same thing with school admissions. Even if the person is absolutely the best qualified to do the job, it’s easy to see how a person in that situation could have impostor syndrome.
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Old 03-15-2023, 09:42 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,427 posts, read 14,745,069 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict View Post
I would say it is probably worse. How many people do we see on CD saying X or Y person only got the job because they’re a PoC? They’re implying that the only people qualified to do the job are white, and often times a white men at that. It is the same thing with school admissions. Even if the person is absolutely the best qualified to do the job, it’s easy to see how a person in that situation could have impostor syndrome.
Thing about imposter syndrome in a situation like this though, is they would have to be internalizing that...and I don't know how many do or don't. It isn't something that I'd feel comfortable asking a friend about, though of course I would listen if one wished to discuss it. It's been my very surface level observation though, that many are (outwardly at least) so busy defending their place against the more overt sense of this from external forces, that what they are expressing is that they have every right to whatever position they have achieved. And I would certainly defend them in that as well...I can only imagine how exhausting it must be.

I have heard that no matter the intentions of the (majority white) people who operate a space, if POC show up and don't see very many (or any) people who look like them, they feel as though they might not be truly welcome, there is a discomfort. But I don't know that I would call that "imposter syndrome" either because what I know it as personally, stands independent of historical weight, since I'm a white woman. If I felt that, say (for example) some men in my workplace did not think that I deserved my job because I'm a woman, my own reaction would be a defensive one. I'd feel a compulsion to prove my intelligence and perhaps one to make them look like idiots at the same time. I would feel a withering contempt for such a person, who appears to believe that a woman cannot perform at the same levels as a man in said job.

So as I am pondering this...

I think that you don't really get a case of imposter syndrome ONLY from outside forces and messaging. It has to take root in your own mind and sort of grow like a culture of bacteria in a Petrie dish in your head. While the origins can be from what people around us say as we grow up in the world, the term refers more to what is going on in within, the extent to which deep down and perhaps against your will, you believe the negative messages and experience self doubt because of them.

And I do think that more privilege can bring more self doubt, if only because sometimes when you've had to struggle and fight for something, you gain more confidence...your strength and capabilities are tested and proven, and anyone outside of yourself who remains unconvinced is just being stubbornly stupid about it. And what's important is not whether other people think that your place was just given to you because of this or that, it's more about what YOU believe about it...
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Old 03-15-2023, 09:49 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,759 posts, read 85,140,408 times
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I didn't know there was a name for it until my daughter mentioned it one day.

I used to go to work expecting that I was going to be fired any minute because they'd find out I was a fraud and didn't really know what I was doing. Now that I look back on it, I find it hard to understand why I thought that way, but it was just generally a self-esteem issue, I guess. I was in a managerial position that I had worked my way into because I started at the public agency as a secretary at a time when you could work your way into a job without a degree. After several decades, though, when things had changed and you needed a degree to even get the receptionist job, I did feel like an imposter working at a level where everyone around me had educational creds and I did not. Most people never knew, though.
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Old 03-15-2023, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Shawnee-on-Delaware, PA
8,125 posts, read 7,503,317 times
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Quote:

Why Everyone Feels Like They’re Faking It
The concept of Impostor Syndrome has become ubiquitous. Critics, and even the idea’s originators, question its value.
Everything you own, everything you've ever done, everything your children will ever do, has been stolen from the rightful owners, the indigenous and/or enslaved peoples of yesteryear.

You should feel ashamed. Thief. Hypocrite. Scoundrel.

P.S. I humbly admit that I live, work, and play on lands that were stolen from the Minsi and Lenape indigenous peoples.
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Old 03-15-2023, 04:34 PM
 
9,952 posts, read 6,713,407 times
Reputation: 19661
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
Thing about imposter syndrome in a situation like this though, is they would have to be internalizing that...and I don't know how many do or don't. It isn't something that I'd feel comfortable asking a friend about, though of course I would listen if one wished to discuss it. It's been my very surface level observation though, that many are (outwardly at least) so busy defending their place against the more overt sense of this from external forces, that what they are expressing is that they have every right to whatever position they have achieved. And I would certainly defend them in that as well...I can only imagine how exhausting it must be.

I have heard that no matter the intentions of the (majority white) people who operate a space, if POC show up and don't see very many (or any) people who look like them, they feel as though they might not be truly welcome, there is a discomfort. But I don't know that I would call that "imposter syndrome" either because what I know it as personally, stands independent of historical weight, since I'm a white woman. If I felt that, say (for example) some men in my workplace did not think that I deserved my job because I'm a woman, my own reaction would be a defensive one. I'd feel a compulsion to prove my intelligence and perhaps one to make them look like idiots at the same time. I would feel a withering contempt for such a person, who appears to believe that a woman cannot perform at the same levels as a man in said job.

So as I am pondering this...

I think that you don't really get a case of imposter syndrome ONLY from outside forces and messaging. It has to take root in your own mind and sort of grow like a culture of bacteria in a Petrie dish in your head. While the origins can be from what people around us say as we grow up in the world, the term refers more to what is going on in within, the extent to which deep down and perhaps against your will, you believe the negative messages and experience self doubt because of them.

And I do think that more privilege can bring more self doubt, if only because sometimes when you've had to struggle and fight for something, you gain more confidence...your strength and capabilities are tested and proven, and anyone outside of yourself who remains unconvinced is just being stubbornly stupid about it. And what's important is not whether other people think that your place was just given to you because of this or that, it's more about what YOU believe about it...
I don’t disagree with your idea about the bacteria/Petri dish. I have a friend who is a POC and wrote a novel that addressed this issue as being sort of like that. It is published by a large publishing house and has generally positive reviews, so I think it resonates with a lot of people. I think it is loosely autobiographical. I met him at a work training before his book was published and while I thought he did not belong, it was basically because he was so ridiculously overqualified that it was not even funny.
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