Used to be bullied as a kid, now people say you are mean because you don’t let people push you around (parent, emotion)
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I knew I was going to get that response,
It’s just an example
And I don’t see any reason for an adult to tell another adult how to eat
You sound a little defensive. In fact, you sound A LOT defensive. You're hyersensitive to being "bullied" or coerced and so probably overreact to fairly benign suggestions.
For example, a few years ago I was eating at a restaurant with a relative and this relative tells me that I should put the napkin on my lap and that I should use one fork for salad and the other fork for the main meal.
I told my relative that I wasn’t going to do it and that I eat the way I want to it.
So you don't care to learn proper dining etiquette... that is not control, that is him trying to teach you some decorum.
Sad that you are not open to learning.
So you don't care to learn proper dining etiquette... that is not control, that is him trying to teach you some decorum.
Sad that you are not open to learning.
OP sounds like a petulant two-year-old rebelling against authority.
Another example,
When I’m at a party and I tell people that I don’t want to drink
And they keep on trying to get me to drink when I made it clear that I don’t want to drink
I said no and I’m not going to do it.
That's a clearer example, thanks. Those sorts of people are immature and wrong to pressure you. Standing your ground, politely but firmly, is a good thing.
For example, a few years ago I was eating at a restaurant with a relative and this relative tells me that I should put the napkin on my lap and that I should use one fork for salad and the other fork for the main meal.
I told my relative that I wasn’t going to do it and that I eat the way I want to it.
That's not got anything to do with resisting bullying, though. That's you just trying to prove you're "special" by making a big deal out of not comforming to societal norms.
What do you get out of making a to-do over showing that accepted table manners don't apply to you? Is that really a hill to choose to die on?
That's a clearer example, thanks. Those sorts of people are immature and wrong to pressure you. Standing your ground, politely but firmly, is a good thing.
At least one person tried to see the point that I’m making
Instead of instantly trying to say that it is my fault
What do you get out of making a to-do over showing that accepted table manners don't apply to you? Is that really a hill to choose to die on?
Funny that you say that because 90% of the time I’m the only person eating “German style” (fork left hand, knife right hand)
But I never tell other people that they are supposed to eat “German style”
I also eat Asian food with chopsticks since I learned how to use them when I lived in Asia
I never tell anybody that they should use chopsticks or how to use them
Funny that you say that because 90% of the time I’m the only person eating “German style” (fork left hand, knife right hand)
But I never tell other people that they are supposed to eat “German style”
I also eat Asian food with chopsticks since I learned how to use them when I lived in Asia
I never tell anybody that they should use chopsticks or how to use them
Well, that's good. I agree that it's rude of your relative to point out your refusal to follow norms at the table, too. But my question was what do you gain by deliberately refusing to put the napkin in your lap or use a salad fork. It just seems childish and a bid for negative attention. Which I guess is exactly what you got.
Well, that's good. I agree that it's rude of your relative to point out your refusal to follow norms at the table, too. But my question was what do you gain by deliberately refusing to put the napkin in your lap or use a salad fork. It just seems childish and a bid for negative attention. Which I guess is exactly what you got.
So you are ok with somebody telling you how to hold your silverware when you are eating?
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