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I'm not a cold person at all but I don't like babies and toddlers. Never have. I have zero patience with them. I have no interest in kids who get food all over themselves yell "NO!" and throw tantrums. Once they hit around 3rd grade then I like to be around them as long as they are not obnoxious.
I think people are wired differently. Show me a baby animal and I melt, pick them up and it's love at first sight. Show me a baby and I have no interest. I didn't ask to be this way but I accept it and have never wanted kids.
What's worse to me are parents who just never stop talking about their kids. They have this amazing ability to bend and twist every single conversation into something about their kid:
Person 1: Oh cleasach, how's your studying for the certification exam going?
Me: Good.
Parent: Johnny takes a computer class in 3rd grade. The teacher says he's way ahead of the other kids.
or
Person 1: I'm going to the game on Saturday. I got good seats.
Me: Whoa. Lucky!
Parent: Johnny's team won their first game. He got three hits and made an amazing catch. The coaches are amazed at how much better he is than the other kids.
Having a conversation about food? Well, then you're bound to hear "Oh Johnny doesn't like that.... oh he loves that."
I know all parents aren't like this but I happen to work with several who are and it just makes me insane.
I hate that too. It's like they don't have a life of their own outside their children or their kids are an extension of their own ego.
There is a difference between caring for children and wanting to be around them. I donate for the benefits of the children. I also work in an industry that protects the health of the children and I enjoy doing that. I think it's a good deed that I help them get what they need to stay healthy. But do I like being around children? No. Do I want to do the teaching, nurturing, cleaning, yelling job? No. And I have no problem telling people I don't like children that much and they are a pain in the as*. It's a rhetoric.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,999,259 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20
I'm not making any judgments myself, but people like this are often portrayed as self-centered, impatient and not very warm. Of course hating any group for no good reason is probably not a good thing, but have you noticed this in general? I know some of the meanest people can still like babies or puppies or something, but I get the idea that some people who say they dislike children are rather serious, and have lost their innocence in a way. Of course some may just say they and dislike them on a very superficial level, but I also think they have forgotten the child within them, and maybe need to re-connect with that.
I don't believe this to be true. I think some may want to find a common thread in any group whom they can't identify with to lump them somehow. The fact that there are so many emotional, physically, sexually abused children at the hands of their own parents is proof that saying you love kids doesn't make you all warm and kind-hearted.
I'm not making any judgments myself, but people like this are often portrayed as self-centered, impatient and not very warm. Of course hating any group for no good reason is probably not a good thing, but have you noticed this in general? I know some of the meanest people can still like babies or puppies or something, but I get the idea that some people who say they dislike children are rather serious, and have lost their innocence in a way. Of course some may just say they and dislike them on a very superficial level, but I also think they have forgotten the child within them, and maybe need to re-connect with that.
I don't care much for children. I don't have any and don't want any. I don't "hate" kids, I'm just indifferent to them. I don't notice them and don't really care to spend much time with them. I might pay attention to a newborn baby every now and then, but that's pretty much it. I don't like loud baby noises, screaming children, and I especially can't handle spoiled brats and smart-a$$ teenagers.
But otherwise, I'm a warm, gentle, patient person. One has nothing to do with the other. And I like animals.
This is an interesting thread to me. I'm a 30 year old woman, been married 5 years, and I don't think I want children anytime soon. I don't particularly like being around kids, but I also have very little experience being around kids in general (i.e. I am an only child, I don't have any nieces or nephews, my husband's siblings don't have kids, etc.) Plus none of my friends has kids. I haven't been around kids in about 20 years. There are very few kids in my neighborhood so I am just never around kids. But being around kids makes me uncomfortable, like when I'm at family reunions, etc. I don't know what to say or do around them. I'd say that I prefer babies to older kids, but that's just because babies don't do much and they aren't obnoxious as I feel many kids are, no matter what their age. And I find teens to be an absolute nightmare--rude, obnoxious, rebelling, etc.
Animals is another story--I absolutely love animals.
I consider myself to be a very nurturing and nice person--but I am not maternal in any way (except toward animals). I keep wondering if/when I'll ever feel a maternal urge, but it has never happened.
I'm also not ready to give up everything for kids. When I hear colleagues, etc. talking about their kids it's as if they have absolutely no life outside of their kids--driving them everywhere all the time and going with them to a million different activities. And that does not sound appealing at all. I like sleeping late, doing whatever I want whenever I want, etc. And I know that all goes out the window when you have kids.
From the responses it seems that way too many people are way too self absorbed to have or like kids. That doesn't reflect on kids, it has a reflection on the selfishness of adults.
Also every adult was a kid once. So I don't understand the arrogance.
You "despise" children? C'mon man, it's a bit stongly worded , don't you think so? don't forget there was a time when you were a child too.
Funny, at 20 I couldn't stand kids, now at 50...they make me melt (the nice ones, at least)
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,999,259 times
Reputation: 9418
I never understood anger toward those who don't like kids. I don't see them any differently than I do people who do like kids, just different personalities is all. I'm more intrigued by those with attitudes toward adults who don't like kids than I am the adults who don't like kids.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,999,259 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigeonhole i am not unashamed to say i despise children
You "despise" children? C'mon man, it's a bit stongly worded , don't you think so? don't forget there was a time when you were a child too.
Funny, at 20 I couldn't stand kids, now at 50...they make me melt (the nice ones, at least)
"Despise", wow, I must admit, even for me that is a bit much. Prefer to never have children, can't stand to be around them for too long, don't like ill-behaved brats, that's one thing. But 'despise'? I can't think of anyone I carry that kind of heavy load for. Sounds awful.
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