Dating and relationships in SF (Belmont, Nice: home, college, living)

[DanielleLA]

Hi Everyone!

I'm thinking about moving to SF because I'm very unhappy with my life in LA. I grew up in Europe, went to Harvard, ended up in LA, and after 3 years here I feel like I am wasting my life. I'm 29, attractive, and I want to meet a guy who is looking for something serious and is ready to settle down. However, 99% of the men I meet are like little boys who don't want to grow up, and I find dating to be very frustrating here. It's a constant heartbreak.

A lot of people have told me great things about SF and I am thinking about moving there. I want to live in a place that is more sophisticated and I want to be surrounded by interesting, warm, well-educated people who aren't flakey and who know what they want out of life.

What is the dating scene like in SF? I've always lived in big cities and I know that dating can sometimes be difficult there. But generally speaking, are people in SF who are in their late 20s/early 30s interested in serious relationships or is it more about short-lived fun? What is the vibe in SF and how does it compare to LA?

Thank you!!

[hjf3173]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but the dating scene in SF is exceptionally poor. At least if you are a straight, white female. The majority of men here tend to have "yellow fever" and will not even consider dating non-asian women. On top of that, the few people that are out there have the "something better" mentality, (this is similar to the entire attitude of SF in general) meaning that no one wants to get too attached to anything/one in case something better comes along. People tend to view relationships/people as disposable. In the 4 years that I've lived here I have only met/dated 2 guys that in my opinion were people I could have spent time with for longer than a few months. And this is coming from an attractive female as well. People are extremely closed off here. No one makes eye contact when walking down the street, and for the most part, a lot of the men here, well, they have no kahunas
As far as SF NOT being flaky? Totally wrong. This is one of the flakiest cities I've lived in (see something better mentality). I plan on leaving this city in the next 5 months. Can't stand it, can't stand the people. Nice place to visit, but not to live.

[OliverTwist]

Try dating guys in the Eastbay.

[DanielleLA]

That sounds like dating in LA (minus the yellow fever)

Is it really that bad? I've heard that there are a lot of young professionals and that it's relatively easy to meet quality people who want to be in a relationship.

Any other opinions?

[Flylooper]

Hah! That's exactly why I left California altogether. This is coming from a 4th generation San Franciscan! I sold my home in Belmont for a cool million and bought in the Northwest. Never looked back!

If you're young and single (or even old and single, like me!) look at Seattle or Portland. People are actually human up here in the "Northwet." Very user friendly cities, all the culture and sports you can handle, room to breathe, outdoors where you can hike and actually not see anyone else.

The one caveat is that your feet will definitely develop webs.

Bob in Oregon

[City Boy]

LOL It does seem like every white male in SF is obsessed with Asian women. Its almost rare to see an Asian female with an Asian male. Move to the east bay unless you're asian and have a white man fetish. lol.

[geos]

What an absurd pack of generalities. "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in ourselves."

[blurstar]

I have to take issue with this "majority of men here tend to have "yellow fever" and will not even consider dating non-asian women" claim.

First of all, it cannot be MAJORITY of men, otherwise a lot of men cannot find dates, because as many Asians as there are in the SF bay area, they are still the minority.

Second, most of those who are into Asians tend to simply have that preference; bay area men will date a beautiful white woman any time. In my 25 year of living here in SF Bay which includes my college years in a fraternity, I've seen no more than 5 friends who literally dates only Asian woman and refuse to date a white woman.

In terms on men's maturity American citie are largely similar because we are influenced by the same media culture. The only major difference between SF and LA I'd say is perhaps LA is more superficial because of the hollywood culture.

[hjf3173]

Sorry Blurstar but it's true and I stand behind the claim 100% without hesitation. As far as bay area men dating beautiful white women,not true. I have done alot or research on this topic (I work in Sociology/research) and the majority of white men that I have interviewed have expressed their preference for Asian women. As for those who don't prefer asian women, they stated that for a white man, having an Asian woman as a girlfriend/significant other was a "status symbol" at least amongst their inner circle of friends. It is what it is. Why put false information out there for someone seeking advice? Not trying to come across as harsh or anything but, I think you should do more research on the subject. I think you would be surprised at the results.

[Sonic]

It's true: many Caucasian men in the Bay Area prefer to date Asian women. However, it's not my business and anyone can date whomever they prefer.

I would suggest you move to SF as there are lots and lots and LOTS of single young professionals who can enlighten your soul. Oh, and there are also tons of bars and clubs - both st8 and gAy.