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As for the questions. Lets say you got a new co worker, you are clearly more experienced and well versed at the job. Out of nowhere he or she gets a promotion without any announcement, you find out second hand the same co worker is your superior. Wouldn't you want to have a talk about this issue?
Sure, but not with the "new superior", but with the bosses that promoted him. It's not his fault your bosses are willing to promote based on friendship and not on skill level. He's just along for the ride, so to speak. Confronting him about his own lack of skills isn't going to be productive.
Well as you said you rarely work with him so I would just be pleasant and work with him for those moments and then go back to your cubby hole and sit there.
God knows how many times I have people who I thought weren't that smart, get promoted above me. It's "okay fine you know put them in that position" if they fall, crash and burn I can sit there and smile if they succeed then it's like okay they made a good choice.
I've learned long ago to not grind my teeth about what others get away with,v because if they don't get nailed on it today maybe tomorrow. Besides I've got my own job keeping myself looking good.
I don't understand why a confrontation is even being considered by the OP.
If the OP wants "to avoid conflict with co worker" as the title states, he either talks to the coworker non-confrontationally, or says nothing at all.
Since the OP states:
I vote for keeping their opinionated mouth shut. They sound very bitter and no one cares about their "feelings"....
Agree. OP do you really think this guy doesn't already know how his behavior affects you? Do you really think he needs you to tell him how you feel? He's probably done all of this before and he's going to keep on doing it whether you confront him or not. If you do vent to him, you might feel a teensy bit better for a little while but nothing else is going to change. This might be one of those times when spilling your irritated guts in a letter but never sending it will help ease the pressure.
Consider that if you do choose confrontation and you lose control of yourself, that's not going to end well for you.
Do your job and keep your own hands clean. Impress your managers and your colleagues with your own legitimate efforts. Let him hang himself. He probably will. Then you can gloat to your heart's content.
I haven't talked to anyone at work about this it's been brewing for a while. I'll try to make a long story short.
Over a year ago I got this new co worker who is quite a bit older than me, but is new to this line of work. Things were fine between us untill I slowly noticed things changing. He pretty much weaseled his way into a higher position(behind everyone's backs) by befriending the higher ups with his fun personality and has pretended to be much better at this job than he really is.
Whenever we work together(which is rare) I immediately notice his questionable knowledge and lack of experience. I wouldn't care if he wasn't in the same department as me, but he is now starting to get things to be his way and I'm feeling left behind.
Anyway, my issue is my double feeling because on one hand I seem to like the man, he does have a charm and if things had different circumstances he would probably be a close coworker. On the other hand, I feel like he is a disingenuous slimeball who even to this day is still keeping his position somewhat of a secret and he got everything handed to him due to seniority while I've been working hard here for years. With the new young guys coming in he tries to be their superior. With me he doesn't and whenever I bring this issue up even vaguely I can see him getting very uncomfortable, even intimidated. The latter tells me he knows he went about things the wrong way.
I want to confront him more openly but I fear my own frustration is gonna escalate things and turn this into a conflict that will get the boss involved. On the other hand he should definitely know about my frustrations. He has even remarked like is everything ok between us etc. If anybody here every experienced something similar at work it may help me if you shared your experiences.
Couple thoughts in no particular order:
1. “Seniority” is not age-related. It is time on job, or even time in field, of which he has neither according to the OP.
2. You said he was promoted in a sneaky way and nobody knows he was promoted? but everyone follows his direction except you. What? I must be misinterpreting this.
3. This sounds just like normal job politics and differing personalities. Trust me when I say speaking up gets you nowhere.
1. “Seniority” is not age-related. It is time on job, or even time in field, of which he has neither according to the OP.
2. You said he was promoted in a sneaky way and nobody knows he was promoted? but everyone follows his direction except you. What? I must be misinterpreting this.
3. This sounds just like normal job politics and differing personalities. Trust me when I say speaking up gets you nowhere.
Seems like it is age-related, "life-experience" was mentioned as well as the fact that I'm still so young at 33 compared to the two decades he has on me. No he doesn't have time in the field or job. His previous job covers about 40-60% of the expertise of his current one, so he does handle himself because of the careful select planning of his best buddy, our manager. But his title requires him to be an expert at the whole field. He's not even close to that but pretends that he is.
Nobody follows his direction expect for 2 young workers who have only been here for a few months. I've got other co-workers who would give him a mouthfull if he tries to boss them around, if you think I sound bad.
Let me give you another example why he's a sneaky sleazeball. He has these friendly chats with people trying to exchange ideas and solutions, then when there are meetings he mentions all of them without giving credit to the ones who came up with it. The obvious solution is to not tell him anything like this from now on and bring them to the meetings myself, but just showing you what this individual is like and even though we rarely work together, it does affect my work.
He came in right at the right time. A lot of the old crew have left the company over the years and the boss is desperate to keep 'seniors'. This worm wouldn't have lasted with his act a couple of years ago.
Regardless of what his experience is, or if he's a sneak or a sleazeball or anything else, it's not your business. Do your work and stay out of anything to do with his job experience, performance, promotions, or anything else.
Do your work. If you don't like what's happening, start looking for another job.
Do your work, and mind your own business. No one there cares what you think about this guy. Get over it. Do YOUR work.
As for the questions. Lets say you got a new co worker, you are clearly more experienced and well versed at the job. Out of nowhere he or she gets a promotion without any announcement, you find out second hand the same co worker is your superior. Wouldn't you want to have a talk about this issue?
I would want to have a private conversation one-on-one with my supervisor. I would not have that conversation with my co-worker.
I haven't talked to anyone at work about this it's been brewing for a while. I'll try to make a long story short.
Over a year ago I got this new co worker who is quite a bit older than me, but is new to this line of work. Things were fine between us untill I slowly noticed things changing. He pretty much weaseled his way into a higher position(behind everyone's backs) by befriending the higher ups with his fun personality and has pretended to be much better at this job than he really is.
Whenever we work together(which is rare) I immediately notice his questionable knowledge and lack of experience. I wouldn't care if he wasn't in the same department as me, but he is now starting to get things to be his way and I'm feeling left behind.
Anyway, my issue is my double feeling because on one hand I seem to like the man, he does have a charm and if things had different circumstances he would probably be a close coworker. On the other hand, I feel like he is a disingenuous slimeball who even to this day is still keeping his position somewhat of a secret and he got everything handed to him due to seniority while I've been working hard here for years. With the new young guys coming in he tries to be their superior. With me he doesn't and whenever I bring this issue up even vaguely I can see him getting very uncomfortable, even intimidated. The latter tells me he knows he went about things the wrong way.
I want to confront him more openly but I fear my own frustration is gonna escalate things and turn this into a conflict that will get the boss involved. On the other hand he should definitely know about my frustrations. He has even remarked like is everything ok between us etc. If anybody here every experienced something similar at work it may help me if you shared your experiences.
Why confront him? Your frustration problem isn't with him. He's doing for himself - and that's what he's supposed to do. He's an older more workplace savvy guy and he's using it to his advantage. Truth is, you're jealous - and thus you're not thinking this thing through rationally.
You should be mad at management. Apparently, they really don't know what they're doing when it comes to judging his experience and knowledge, if what you're saying is true.
But unless he's deliberately sabotaging you, why be mad at him? And I haven't heard you say that. In fact, you've indicated that you seem to like him.
Be happy for his good fortune and express that to him. THAT'S how you win him over and maybe get some justice in your situation. If management likes him so much, maybe they'll listen to him about you... and you can control a little of that message. If his lack of knowledge isn't impacting your reputation, don't put yourself in a bad situation by souring the relationship needlessly.
Listen to me. I'm telling you the right way to handle this - given that what you've said here is the real situation.
Learn to play the office game. Win by winning people over!
Just being out in the world I often wonder how people keep their jobs. Where I work is no different. It makes me wonder if some people are related to mgt or know a secret.
OP: You need to be careful that your co-worker isn’t related, because that can be kept as quiet as his promotion was.
This thread quickly turned sour and is now closed. A number of rude and/or orphaned posts have been deleted. OP, do not ask for opinions and then diss the responsive opinions posted.
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