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I had one coworker who always wanted to whine about her husband's cheating. It got ridiculous because she wouldn't leave him, she just wanted to cry about it.
One day she came up to my desk and asked me to come outside to talk like usual, and I said, "Is this about work?" she said no, so I shook my head and said, "I'm all done here. Get professional help." Then went back to my computer and kept working. She didn't bother me again.
There are plenty of ways to stop your coworker, but it takes you having to be upfront and even rude, if nothing else. Ignoring them doesn't work.
I'm afraid by now I would have looked him straight in the eye and said, "SHUT. UP. and get out of my face. I have a job to do."
I had one coworker who always wanted to whine about her husband's cheating. It got ridiculous because she wouldn't leave him, she just wanted to cry about it.
One day she came up to my desk and asked me to come outside to talk like usual, and I said, "Is this about work?" she said no, so I shook my head and said, "I'm all done here. Get professional help." Then went back to my computer and kept working. She didn't bother me again.
There are plenty of ways to stop your coworker, but it takes you having to be upfront and even rude, if nothing else. Ignoring them doesn't work.
I'm afraid by now I would have looked him straight in the eye and said, "SHUT. UP. and get out of my face. I have a job to do."
Good job! Yeah some people just seem immune to body language or understanding that no one wants to hear their daily/repeated negative nancy stories. I honestly think some people get JOY out of complaining and being negative, it's a weird phenomenon.
I honestly think some people get JOY out of complaining and being negative, it's a weird phenomenon.
Yep, this is why I left Reddit. I only went there to discuss TV shows but over time the last couple of years, it turned into a constant barrage of people complaining.
That's where I learned about "hatewatching", which is when people deliberately watch a show they hate, so they can get online and trash it. Talk about toxicity; that's practically the definition.
I always pride(d) myself in being a positive person. Years ago at a job, I must have been on a complaining binge because my coworker finally spoke up and said "You are always so negative. Some days being around you brings me down."
That was like a slap in the face. I did an about face right then and there and made every effort to avoid complaining or saying negative things. I still remember that when I am tempted to gripe about something. Griping can be done at home in front of a mirror or while out walking or something.
Speak up. Say something. No one wants to have a reputation as being a negative nelly. It might be your saying something that changes the whole dynamic. If not, at least you made your point.
My colleague has a bad habit of complaining about the manager and team members to me. I don't say anything as I look at my screen and do my work when he is talking. This colleague has a grievance against the manager and the manager has made a counter allegation.
I find my job stressful as there is a lot of work involved and I have been covering work from a long term vacant post which was only recently filled - my role should get better once new person takes on the extra tasks. Today I forgot he was in the office and he was moaning. I don't want to get involved in office politics and hearing about the same incidents is getting me down. Other colleagues have stopped talking to him.
I can arrange my calendar to go in on the days he is not in. Anyone got any other tips? Negative people like him make the job worse.
Why do you choose to listen to this person? Is there some reason why you haven’t had an adult discussion with the individual and tell them you no longer wish to be a sounding board to his complaints?
You are making your own work environment worse by saying nothing!!
mama use to beech about everything, after about thirty years i ask her , how come she was never happy and beech about everything, she told me, how are you going fix it, if you dont know about it
I actually have a FORMER colleague who will still attempt to reach out to me to pretend to say hi, then unloads his negativity on me. I have tried to keep friendly with him through the years as we've used each other as professional references, but it may be time to cut him off. He starts innocently enough like "Hey how is the volume there today?" then when I respond he starts in on complaints, negativity, etc. I truly believe he has some kind of mental illness, I just cannot imagine any sane human being could go through life with such negative thoughts constantly swirling around his head.
I have found this helpful when person is nearby with that behavior (either sitting next to me, or roaming the office seeking to find others they can vent to.) I wear my computer headset, whether or not I happen to actually be in a meeting or on a call or listening to a training that requires it. If someone starts talking to me, then i just point to my headset. This indicates can't talk, can't listen, can't respond, go away. Or i hand them a notepad to write down whatever question they may have, so if it is actually work-related, then i can respond to them later. Or i give them the piece of paper that says, "Please send email to this mail group, and we will follow up on your request" the email group is our work group which includes supervisor, for tracking and response of all requests we receive. funny how often they are reluctant to put it in writing. whereas actual work-related communication is fine being put in writing.
Another tactic i use with co-workers who perpetually complain is to say i've been given a big project and could sure use their help on it. My observation is that the people who complain and gossip are the ones who also seek to avoid doing work, so that usually gets rid of them.
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 05-11-2024 at 10:28 AM..
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