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DH said this woman was very profuse in her apology even though she did nothing wrong. She mentioned Asians (especially girls)sometimes look younger than they are. Then she told DH she too was Asian and she was often treated like a child when she was a teen. DH thinks part of this woman's profuse apology was acknowledging it might have been racially motivated but no one has mentioned the racial aspect at all.
Possibly. Or, she may have apologized because someone else in a group of which she was a representative had done something to offend a member of their community. In other words, she's apologizing on behalf of her group, even though she herself was innocent of any blame. It's like the gate agent apologizing to you because bad weather has delayed your flight. The bad weather is obviously not the agent's fault, but she would still apologize because a customer of the organization that she represents had been inconvenienced.
Again, I'm not saying that no way no how could it have possibly been a racist act. It indeed may have been. But there are alternative explanations to what happened, and in my opinion these explanations are at least equally plausible, if not more so.
People in this country are way too thin skinned in every way. Think their may be a course in kindergarten called how to be thin skinned in the 21 century. Rest of the world doesn't suffer from this malady.
People in this country are way too thin skinned in every way. Think their may be a course in kindergarten called how to be thin skinned in the 21 century. Rest of the world doesn't suffer from this malady.
My son gets the most racial profiling and discrimination of all my rainbow children. I don't know about this case, but it's hard not to be "thin skinned" when you see people treating your children badly because of their race.
This story...doesn't feel racist to me. Seems like a misunderstanding not a "I don't want Asians here" thing. But...I wasn't there.
Possibly. Or, she may have apologized because someone else in a group of which she was a representative had done something to offend a member of their community. In other words, she's apologizing on behalf of her group, even though she herself was innocent of any blame. It's like the gate agent apologizing to you because bad weather has delayed your flight. The bad weather is obviously not the agent's fault, but she would still apologize because a customer of the organization that she represents had been inconvenienced.
Again, I'm not saying that no way no how could it have possibly been a racist act. It indeed may have been. But there are alternative explanations to what happened, and in my opinion these explanations are at least equally plausible, if not more so.
And it's a coincidence that she herself is Asian. HER ethnicity means NOTHING except what people want to read into it.
And it's a coincidence that she herself is Asian. HER ethnicity means NOTHING except what people want to read into it.
And what does her ethnicity mean to you? It appears to me that you are reading into this the notion that the Asian woman, by virtue of being Asian, has identified the incident as racial. But that's not what I see from reading the OP's account:
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu
DH said this woman was very profuse in her apology even though she did nothing wrong. She mentioned Asians (especially girls)sometimes look younger than they are. Then she told DH she too was Asian and she was often treated like a child when she was a teen. DH thinks part of this woman's profuse apology was acknowledging it might have been racially motivated but no one has mentioned the racial aspect at all.
According to this, the woman felt that Asian females are often regarded as being younger than they are, and that she herself has experienced this. The OP's husband thought that the woman's apology was in part an acknowledgement that the incident might have been racially motivated. Note well: nowhere is it said that the Asian woman herself expressed the thought that it might have been racial; it was the OP's husband who came to that conclusion.
Perhaps I'm not the only one reading things into this.
OP specifically mentions it was someone looking to "exert some power" and that others in the meeting indicated the kids appeared old enough. So, no. No way that was this guy's concern.
The original post does not say "exert some power" that's a quote your post. If he felt it was unsafe or they were too young it was his concern. He obviously could have handled it better, but it doesn't detract from the possibility that his motivation is less sinister than many would like to attribute.
Someone I respect told me about this one time. Religious or not, I think it's good to remember:
“If a friend among your friends errs, make seventy excuses for them. If your hearts are unable to do this, then know that the shortcoming is in your own selves.†[Imam Bayhaqi, Shu`ab al-Iman, 7.522]
I think your daughters just experienced a jerk. Period. I don't see this as racial.
Have the kiddos take the fine gents picture and then you know who it is and can follow up with a detailed complaint to the appropriate HOA official that will carry some weight.
And what does her ethnicity mean to you? It appears to me that you are reading into this the notion that the Asian woman, by virtue of being Asian, has identified the incident as racial. But that's not what I see from reading the OP's account:
GO back and read my post #24. I'm AGREEING with you.
My daughter, also Korean and very dark, had an experience at a hotel pool in South Carolina. I am positive that race had to do with it. The hotel apologized, and to their credit, did not make any excuses.
Seriously? Many people consider it unsafe for young children to swim unsupervised. So one person decides to speak up and we can only assign a range of disturbing motivations? No wonder people don't want to get involved.
The rules allowed it so anyone that had a problem with the rules should have taken it up with the HOA, not the girls.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird
The first time my son was profiled and discriminated against was mother's day out when they told me that he was being too rough at play but they expected that from him with his race.
I am not sure this was racial at all, the might have just looked too young. But its worth following up
Agree, when you are actually part of what happened and know the territory, it makes a difference.
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu
Well the man did not apologize to our girls but he sent us e mail saying he should have asked their age and to tell the girls he was sorry.
The woman in the meeting (girls didn't see her) called DH to apologize profusely. She said she had no idea what he was doing and by the time she got out there the girls were gone. DH said she told him the girls looked old enough to her and she would not have run them off. Man just shrugged.
DH said this woman was very profuse in her apology even though she did nothing wrong. She mentioned Asians (especially girls)sometimes look younger than they are. Then she told DH she too was Asian and she was often treated like a child when she was a teen. DH thinks part of this woman's profuse apology was acknowledging it might have been racially motivated but no one has mentioned the racial aspect at all.
I could have guessed that is what he would have said. Vietnamese? For some that will be negative. In basic training, we had a girl from Hawaii and she was Japanese, keep in mind that we were at the age where our fathers fought in WWII. She had the worst time and some of the girls just outright told her what they thought of the Japanese. She had a hard time getting any help. I was astounded as my dad was in WWII but he taught us to never treat anyone the way I saw her treated.
Quote:
Originally Posted by karmathecat
If it felt like discrimination because of their race/ethnicity, it likely was. Don't let the whitesplaining deter you from following up on this. Racial profiling of our adopted children of color starts early.
Even white children who are adopted are profiled simply for being adopted in the first place, we have a son that is adopted and white. Racism is thriving in the US but usually in a passive-aggressive mode because racists have no backbone and that is why they feel threatened by other races. Not secure in their own skin.
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv my dayton
People in this country are way too thin skinned in every way. Think their may be a course in kindergarten called how to be thin skinned in the 21 century. Rest of the world doesn't suffer from this malady.
Are you a person of color? Have children of color that were adopted? Where do you draw your ability to think the children should have a thick skin because some adults have hate in the hearts?
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird
My son gets the most racial profiling and discrimination of all my rainbow children. I don't know about this case, but it's hard not to be "thin skinned" when you see people treating your children badly because of their race.
This story...doesn't feel racist to me. Seems like a misunderstanding not a "I don't want Asians here" thing. But...I wasn't there.
Yes, it is important to note that many giving opinions here have probably ever seen what discrimination looks like.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12
My daughter, also Korean and very dark, had an experience at a hotel pool in South Carolina. I am positive that race had to do with it. The hotel apologized, and to their credit, did not make any excuses.
Well, we would have to at least give the hotel more credit than the man would get since, lets face it, when confronted, most people with prejudices pull their heads in their shells and use some other excuse. When confronted it is always a "misunderstanding". I have seen SO many cruel things in my life when it comes to racial prejudice, you just have no idea and when it involves children................ I do wonder what is wrong with those people mentally, morally and/or spiritually that make them that way.
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