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I'm sure you have all heard this before, but I really want to get my PPL. Have always wanted to for years but now in my mid 40's I have the money to do it. I'm not interested in flying for airlines I have always been into aviation. The next best thing I could afford was RC aircraft but now she has become so terrified of things she doesn't want me to do it. The strange thing is she used to love flying in small planes in her 20's her sister took her up in her boyfriends planes a bunch of times. Now she says for some reason she has a fear of many things now. I know flight training will take up a lot of time where I'm away from the house she will be thinking I'm going to die. Seems like to me most crashes in small planes are because people take risk like flying in bad weather, or planes that aren't kept up well.
This must be a common theme, as my wife has said the same exact thing over and over again. She also said I would kill myself if I bought a motorcycle. Truthfully I think the odds of survival are better in the plane.
I am the wife of a pilot. I knew he loved planes when I married him...he was an aircraft designer after all. I never had a problem flying until after experiencing 9/11, and then became terrified. I think for me it was the lack of control. My husband started by by flying gliders when we were on the east coast and now he fly's us all around in a V35. (Those planes are known as the fork tailed doctor killers.....My husband had a big talk with me when that was what we were looking at, so I wouldn't panic once I heard that phrase, and why it got that label) I was beside myself that something would happen, especially since we had small children and he was flying gliders, but at the same time I couldn't ask him not to do something he loved. Now i am comforted on the fact that if we loose an engine my husband is comfortable landing an engine-less plane, is good at calculating glide slope and distance and how to identity where to land out....not that I ever want to experience it first hand.
I think the biggest factors for my being comfortable flying now is time, knowledge and trust. I trust that my husband is a very good pilot. I've watched him fly and he is incredibly focused. He always monitors weather and alerts before we leave. He maintains our plane to the highest standards. We have on board weather and fuel analyzers. And he errors on the side of conservative, especially when we fly with him. We never have to "get there". That is the biggest rule. My husband has his IFR and keeps current and flies frequently to keep his skills.
I have slowly gotten an education along the way. I've asked a million questions. Sadly, so many of these accidents occur because of pilot error /poor judgement....and it is usually a series of events, not just one event. Training yourself to react in the wake of a problem is important. And forcing yourself to make smart, and sometimes hard decisions is the key. In all this time, we've only had one time where my husband landed early due to an unreported weather pocket and icing conditions. Yes it sucked that I had to drive 1.5 hrs to get him. I'll take that over dead husband any day.
Every time there is a report of a plane crash, I ask my husband to dissect the reports on what went wrong and why it won't happen to us. Sadly so many of these incidents are completely avoidable. Trading weight for fuel and then not having enough to do multiple landings in bad weather because you have to do the ILS and crashing... Pushing it and getting into fog, even though you are not IFR rated and crashing. These are times where you have to land before you get into trouble, wait it out or suck it up and rent a car. People can make bad decisions when they are panicked or stressed. A good pilot knows what most likely scenario'swould crop up on their route by careful weather monitoring/flight planning and have a plan in place to address them before they actually pop up. We always fly with full fuel. We can take less, but we've gotten good at strategic packing.
I am slowly learning what all the instruments do, and my husband is always talking me through what he's doing and why. He also addresses the bad (see above) and what we should do. The more I understand, the less scared I am.
Hope this helps!
Last edited by chrissyb52; 02-24-2014 at 07:10 PM..
I am the wife of a pilot. I knew he loved planes when I married him...he was an aircraft designer after all. I never had a problem flying until after experiencing 9/11, and then became terrified. I think for me it was the lack of control. My husband started by by flying gliders when we were on the east coast and now he fly's us all around in a V35. (Those planes are known as the fork tailed doctor killers.....My husband had a big talk with me when that was what we were looking at, so I wouldn't panic once I heard that phrase, and why it got that label) I was beside myself that something would happen, especially since we had small children and he was flying gliders, but at the same time I couldn't ask him not to do something he loved. Now i am comforted on the fact that if we loose an engine my husband is comfortable landing an engine-less plane, is good at calculating glide slope and distance and how to identity where to land out....not that I ever want to experience it first hand.
I think the biggest factors for my being comfortable flying now is time, knowledge and trust. I trust that my husband is a very good pilot. I've watched him fly and he is incredibly focused. He always monitors weather and alerts before we leave. He maintains our plane to the highest standards. We have on board weather and fuel analyzers. And he errors on the side of conservative, especially when we fly with him. We never have to "get there". That is the biggest rule. My husband has his IFR and keeps current and flies frequently to keep his skills.
I have slowly gotten an education along the way. I've asked a million questions. Sadly, so many of these accidents occur because of pilot error /poor judgement....and it is usually a series of events, not just one event. Training yourself to react in the wake of a problem is important. And forcing yourself to make smart, and sometimes hard decisions is the key. In all this time, we've only had one time where my husband landed early due to an unreported weather pocket and icing conditions. Yes it sucked that I had to drive 1.5 hrs to get him. I'll take that over dead husband any day.
Every time there is a report of a plane crash, I ask my husband to dissect the reports on what went wrong and why it won't happen to us. Sadly so many of these incidents are completely avoidable. Trading weight for fuel and then not having enough to do multiple landings in bad weather because you have to do the ILS and crashing... Pushing it and getting into fog, even though you are not IFR rated and crashing. These are times where you have to land before you get into trouble, wait it out or suck it up and rent a car. People can make bad decisions when they are panicked or stressed. A good pilot knows what most likely scenario'swould crop up on their route by careful weather monitoring/flight planning and have a plan in place to address them before they actually pop up. We always fly with full fuel. We can take less, but we've gotten good at strategic packing.
I am slowly learning what all the instruments do, and my husband is always talking me through what he's doing and why. He also addresses the bad (see above) and what we should do. The more I understand, the less scared I am.
Do it. It's very rewarding. It can become a money sink though... I personally don't know anyone who has died (or even had an accident) while flying. That's over a twenty yr span. Just learn as much as you can, always exercise good judgement, make conservative decisions. Be thorough and don't get complacent. Good luck!
One of my oldest friends and I used to do all sorts of things some may consider dangerous. Some were even legal. When he started seeing his now-wife, I saw that she lived her life in terms of fear level. If she wasn't sitting in a chair in her home, she had some level of apprehension about anything she did. It wasn't long before that affected my relationship with my buddy. 15 years later, and I think she has forbidden him to run, because he is more likely to injure himself. He does nothing exciting, and we do very little together any more.
It's the decision he made. It's not the one I would have made. Did I mention I'm middle aged and single?
Wow what a response thanks we don't have any kids and we both make good incomes I have a good policy though my employer because it is group life insurance I doubt they have a clause for GA aviation. My wife makes enough money that she wouldn't have problems with money. We do many things that I would consider dangerous she has been snowboarding for 25 years, and I in the last 3 year switched over from skiing to snowboarding. We took up scuba diving in 2010 she didn't like it I continued with it, but in 2011 I got the bends flying out 23 hours after diving yep the US airways flight had to turn around and land back at FLL we had to spend an extra week West Palm beach while I was in the hospital. This is probably where I think the her fear of me getting killed started with hobby's. The bend wasn't serious but it was neurological DCS and it could have been a lot worse. I found my body just doesn't handle nitrogen loading very well. I hope to start my training this year have to get rid of a few other hobbies first my wife says this might be a way to delay it but I really want to do this. We live in Phoenix, AZ so lots of clear weather days I'm looking for a good instructor with years of experience. There are a few schools near me but seems like the instructors are in their early 20's just wanting to build hours I think the term is wet behind the ear's instructors I took a few intro flights with one.
Wow what a response thanks we don't have any kids and we both make good incomes I have a good policy though my employer because it is group life insurance I doubt they have a clause for GA aviation. My wife makes enough money that she wouldn't have problems with money. We do many things that I would consider dangerous she has been snowboarding for 25 years, and I in the last 3 year switched over from skiing to snowboarding. We took up scuba diving in 2010 she didn't like it I continued with it, but in 2011 I got the bends flying out 23 hours after diving yep the US airways flight had to turn around and land back at FLL we had to spend an extra week West Palm beach while I was in the hospital. This is probably where I think the her fear of me getting killed started with hobby's. The bend wasn't serious but it was neurological DCS and it could have been a lot worse. I found my body just doesn't handle nitrogen loading very well. I hope to start my training this year have to get rid of a few other hobbies first my wife says this might be a way to delay it but I really want to do this. We live in Phoenix, AZ so lots of clear weather days I'm looking for a good instructor with years of experience. There are a few schools near me but seems like the instructors are in their early 20's just wanting to build hours I think the term is wet behind the ear's instructors I took a few intro flights with one.
Kell490: I learned to fly at Scottsdale (SDL), know a lot of 40 and 50-something instructors who instruct in the PHX area because they enjoy doing it, not because they're building time. DM me if you would like some more info and I'll contact them and see if they're interested, as the instruction gig is not their full-time job.
When I was in the Air Force I flew with a first-assignment pilot who was up for follow-on from his current forward air controller job. His wife was dead-set against him getting anything with nukes, so F-16, F-111, F-15E and the soon-to-be-phased-out F-4 were all out of the question. (Yes, it was about 25 years ago, MTV still played music, gas was a buck a gallon, etc) His spouse drove his career decison and he regretted it, as the aircraft he went to was phased out after Desert Storm as well. I don't know how his marriage was but the deep regrets he had gnawed at him when I saw him at Nellis three years later. Having someone dictate how you live leaves lifelong resentment. It sounds like flying is something you already enjoy. I would definitely go for it. (Caveat: if you don't own an aircraft, get renters' insurance as well. The owner's policy doesn't always cover the renter.)
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When he started seeing his now-wife, I saw that she lived her life in terms of fear level. If she wasn't sitting in a chair in her home, she had some level of apprehension about anything she did. It wasn't long before that affected my relationship with my buddy. 15 years later, and I think she has forbidden him to run, because he is more likely to injure himself. He does nothing exciting, and we do very little together any more.
