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I'm sure you have all heard this before, but I really want to get my PPL. Have always wanted to for years but now in my mid 40's I have the money to do it. I'm not interested in flying for airlines I have always been into aviation. The next best thing I could afford was RC aircraft but now she has become so terrified of things she doesn't want me to do it. The strange thing is she used to love flying in small planes in her 20's her sister took her up in her boyfriends planes a bunch of times. Now she says for some reason she has a fear of many things now. I know flight training will take up a lot of time where I'm away from the house she will be thinking I'm going to die. Seems like to me most crashes in small planes are because people take risk like flying in bad weather, or planes that aren't kept up well.
I apologize in advance for the long post that follows... Sorry 'bout that. Crashes can happen to anyone. I received my Private certificate when I was still in high school, before I joined the Air Force and became a USAF pilot. (That experience only marginally helped me, in in some cases was a huge hinderance, but that's for another discussion.) I have several friends who are no longer alive, killed in light aircraft accidents, but in their case they were performing maneuvers that were inappropriate or illegal. (See link)
I briefly dated a girl in college who wouldn't fly with me, as her family was dead-set against it, no pun intended, as they were convinced we would die in a crash. Irrational fear? Not completely, the accident rate for GA aircraft is much higher than for commercial activities. Still, so many accidents occur because a pilot attempts to land in a crosswind too high for the aircraft, presses on through deteriorating weather conditions, performs maneuvers that are physically impossible and either impacting the ground intact or suffering structural failure, all of which point to overconfidence or foolishness (maybe caused by ego?) or maybe just a can't-happen-to-me attitude. Mitigated by proper risk controls, to be sure.
In my USAF flying we managed risk carefully. Those who did not sometimes ended up wrecking an aircraft, and if lucky they bailed out before impact. I know of several pilots who ejected after an engine failure, also a guy whose weapons detonated right after release during Desert Storm (he got to spend a few weeks as "guest" of Saddam Hussein) but those events are out of the pilots hands.
As for the question, I would say go for it, but it sort of depends on the relationship you have with your spouse. (Mine is OK with my aviating, although the irony is she worked extensively with aviation lawyers as a paralegal and knows how badly things can go for pilots and passengers in GA accidents, and doesn't much care for Cessnas, but she's OK with the T-34s she's flown a few times.)
Rent a 172 and let her ride in the back.
1) She won't be sitting at home worried about you while you are taking lessons.
2) If you DO manage to kill yourself she wouldn't have to worry since she will be right there with you.
I have been flying Cessna's and Pipers for the last 30 years.
SluggoF16 has been flying on the tax payers dime for most of his life and has had the advantage of having ground crews and continuous training and a strict operating requirements. This world has nothing to do with flying small aircraft. The pilot of a small aircraft has to take the responsibility of the maintenance, fueling, operations, weather interpretation, and ultimate decision to fly if the weather is borderline. A private pilot most also understand their own limitations for winds, visibility, and their own mental condition to fly. Small and lite aircraft require a greater skill in cross winds and turbulent winds then the heavier aircraft require.
SluggoF16 is correct in saying that small aircraft are more dangerous then commercial. I have always said that comparison is like comparing driving a car (commercial aircraft) to driving a motorcycle (single engine aircraft like Cessna's)
Flying is as safe as you want to make it, I have had several friends die in small aircraft, but in every case it was a accident waiting to happen. A history of doing dangerous things or not paying attention to maintenance. Fuel mismanagement is the cause of 50% of all small aircraft accidents. Fuel mismanagement can be from running out of fuel to not understanding the aircraft's fuel system. If you can make sure you always can get fuel to the engine you just eliminated half of all accident possibilities.
The actual training will be and should be the safest time to fly. The instructor will keep you from making any serious mistakes during training. You wife does not need to be concerned during the training. The instructor will not let you solo until he or she is confident. After receiving your licence is when the rubber meets the road and the safety is completely in your hands.
I remember my first flight after getting my licence was the eye opening flight of my life and something that I will never forget. There was no instructor sitting next me telling me what to do, no restrictions on where I could fly, no time of the day or night I could not fly. The freedom was unbelievable.
Only general aviation can give the total and complete freedom to the pilot. I have had commercial pilots park next to my aircraft and comment to me how they would love to have their own aircraft be able to fly where ever they wanted and when they wanted.
I have seen and done things that only private pilots can do like landing on 1500' grass strips in the middle of nowhere, to renting an aircraft in Hawaii and seeing the entire state from low altitude to landing and visiting all of the other 49 states ( including Alaska) and several places in Canada. Most of the places that my wife and I go to do not have commercial flights or for that matter very few private flights.
When I decided to learn to fly, I was completing a life long desire. I was 34 and decided that I did not want to be retired and wishing that I had learned how fly, life is to short. If you do not fallow through with learning how to fly you will regret it for the rest of your life.
My wife was very concerned about me flying so I paid my instructor to give her flying lessons and it worked, she stopped giving me a headache over it.
I'm sure you have all heard this before, but I really want to get my PPL. Have always wanted to for years but now in my mid 40's I have the money to do it. I'm not interested in flying for airlines I have always been into aviation. The next best thing I could afford was RC aircraft but now she has become so terrified of things she doesn't want me to do it. The strange thing is she used to love flying in small planes in her 20's her sister took her up in her boyfriends planes a bunch of times. Now she says for some reason she has a fear of many things now. I know flight training will take up a lot of time where I'm away from the house she will be thinking I'm going to die. Seems like to me most crashes in small planes are because people take risk like flying in bad weather, or planes that aren't kept up well.
Well, death is a choice.. but most people don't know that
In fact if you or her could believe that..? you'd relax more.. or feel better.. but yah.. it's hard energy to tackle.. (since everyone else believes the opposite etc.)
If you want to solve this don't see much choice more than to learn to relax a little through information or energy work..
Or just blindly do your passion.. and stop "worrying" or lowering your vibration to match your wife's fear
GA flying is as safe as you care to make it. If you take this seriously, train as needed, practice good judgement, and be realistic about your skills and the aircraft performance ... you can utilize this for many years of safe flying. Many folk I fly with don't have wives that will appreciate and enjoy the flying ... others have wives that can't wait for their next flight/flying adventure, some even got their own ticket so can appreciate and share the flying chores. I'd just as soon have my wife do most of the cross-country flying ... and she does, even kicks me out of the left seat just to assert that she's the real PIC for that leg of a trip.
Almost everybody I've known to pass away in a GA incident did so when in flagrant violation of common sense, their training, basic flight guidelines ... and this included folks with as much as 20,000+ hours in their logbooks as commercial pilots/instructors in GA. Stuff like flying a rare (& valuable) collectible WW2 high performance single seat fighter equipped for VFR into hard IFR conditions, or not securing a door before take-off and having it pop open just after lift-off which diverted their attention to trying to close the door instead of flying the aircraft to a safe return staying in the pattern and landing (a Cessna will make a bit of noise with the door ajar, maybe banging a bit, and the wind noise ... but it's still flyable and controllable) to fix the problem. (I've even been there in a 180 with worn out door latches/strike plates that wouldn't stay secured in a gusty cross-wind take off ... and it was a non-event). Or an instructor with get-there-itis who took off into icing conditions with an iced-up Piper Archer where all he did was clear a small spot to look through the windshield and didn't even broom off the wings or put the plane into the heated FBO hangar ($20!) at the strip to clear it before taxiing out ... the plane used up 5,600' of runway and he finally yanked it into the air where it stalled and pancaked right into the ground a hundred yards past the runway end (killed him and his wife). Or doing low altitude maneuvers with no room to complete them ... mostly guys without appropriate aerobatic training/skills or even a sign-off to do so at low altitude.
I haven't heard of many gross fuel mis-management incidents where somebody died, at least not anywhere close to 50% fo the fatal accidents that I've followed.
Get good training ... find an instructor that speaks your language and you'll have a good foundation to do this right.
now she has become so terrified of things she doesn't want me to do it. The strange thing is she used to love flying in small planes in her 20's her sister took her up in her boyfriends planes a bunch of times. Now she says for some reason she has a fear of many things now.
Trust me on this... you must deal effectively with this first, or your life will become a living hell. I had this happen with my ex, before she was an ex, and though she loved air shows and hanging around airports with me, and poking around small planes and experimental planes before we married and before I started lessons, but she went batsh** crazy once I actually got in the air, and became impossible to deal with.
It got so bad I had to give up flying for a while, until she became my ex, when I finally resumed.
Your wife has an irrational fear, perhaps a few, and nothing is likely to resolve her fears except mental health treatment. Absent that treatment you are unlikely to have a peaceful married life unless you give up your dream of flying.
I have been flying Cessna's and Pipers for the last 30 years.
SluggoF16 has been flying on the tax payers dime for most of his life and has had the advantage of having ground crews and continuous training and a strict operating requirements. This world has nothing to do with flying small aircraft. The pilot of a small aircraft has to take the responsibility of the maintenance, fueling, operations, weather interpretation, and ultimate decision to fly if the weather is borderline. A private pilot most also understand their own limitations for winds, visibility, and their own mental condition to fly...
I too have been flying GA, for over 36 years. About 900 of my 5300 hours, in fact. Mostly fixed-pitch Cessna and Piper aircraft (learned in a PA-28-140). And since retirement, I've been doing on-the-side pipeline-style flying, below 1500 AGL, about 80-100 hrs a year, mostly in a C-172L, sometimes in an Ercoupe (!). I won't fly if the weather is marginal, will divert without hesitation, won't perform any maneuver that physics says can't be done, and won't accept an aircraft unless it's 100% airworthy. That's what gets most GA pilots in trouble, any violation of those basic tenets.
The OP should find a reputable flight training center, may cost a bit more, but I have seen some certificate mills out there that teach to the FAA evaluation and not necessarily to the realities of flight. I was fortunate to have an instructor more concerned about teaching me to fly, safely and efficiently, and to learn from every flight. When I was a young pilot I flew a couple of aircraft from a private individual that were not in the best shape, and though certified as airworthy, would likely give the OP's wife reason to be fearful. I would suggest to the OP to pursue the dream of flying. My father-in-law did not take his own training much past solo, and now regrets it. His resentment is directed solely at himself, but I could see a great deal of resentment stemming from one's spouse denying a lifelong desire to accomplish something as fun as flight.
Your wife has an irrational fear, perhaps a few, and nothing is likely to resolve her fears except mental health treatment. Absent that treatment you are unlikely to have a peaceful married life unless you give up your dream of flying.
No there is another way!
But if it were me personally and this was my passion.. I wouldn't let anyone get in my way including "said wife" but again that's me...
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but most people don't know that 
