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We humans can go through a lot when we must. I was diagnosed with a huge brain tumor several years ago. My doctor told me to get my affairs in order because I probably didn't have long to live, even if he could find someone to perform surgery and I survived that, which he indicated wasn't likely. My daughter was 16 at the time and pretty shaken up. In consoling her I first stated that nothing was certain, that I might survive just fine, "and even if I don't there are worse things than dying." Then I realized how dumb that sounded, but it was how I felt at the time. Most of us cope with whatever life throws at us. It's not a matter of being brave or strong, it's just the way we're wired.
I did forever lose my sense of smell from the surgery. When I found out, the first thing I said was to joke about it. ("And here I just thought that my sh*t didn't stink."
It is helpful to hear all your stories, thank you for sharing and explaining the range of emotions that one goes through during terribly difficult ordeals.
I have a slightly different take on "If we do X, then the terrorists will have won." It was my impression that the various terror attacks have one goal- to stick a finger in the Western eye by hurting/killing as many people as possible. Period. Therefore, whether or not we return to shopping, or put up a memorial or not, or are cheerful or not, it's already over. They accomplished what they wanted- to cause harm.
After the tragic events in Boston, I can't help but feel uneasy to see most of the victims on TV project an image of: "it's all good-I'm all smiles here-thumbs up!" attitude. It can't be real. In my opinion it projects a bad image of Americans. Sure these are all sad stories, but mostly, the media is so quick to show pictures of victims smiling, makes me feel uncomfortable to see it over and over again. Almost every photo on the donation website for the victims is one of a smiling one. Why??? Why is everyone smiling???
Why can't we show the world that we have real feelings, tone it down a bit with the positive attitude, there is nothing wrong with that! I understand the victims need to think positive to overcome the pain, poor them, I cried for them so much. But think about how the world will see us. No matter what the terrorists do to us, we just keep on smiling like robots. Smiling, smiling, smiling!!! Where are the REAL expressions of sorrow, depression, sadness, shock. Those expressions do not show weakness, but REALNESS. Our society is so unreal, and others in the world see that, it makes me sad.
Because much of American society is centered around entertainment. Add in short attention spans
If the story is too negative *cough* real, then people will simply change the channel. You have to constantly keep the American viewer entertained.
The media also doesn't believe Americans can handle emotions. That's why real shots of War are not aired on mainstream media.
After the tragic events in Boston, I can't help but feel uneasy to see most of the victims on TV project an image of: "it's all good-I'm all smiles here-thumbs up!" attitude. It can't be real. In my opinion it projects a bad image of Americans. Sure these are all sad stories, but mostly, the media is so quick to show pictures of victims smiling, makes me feel uncomfortable to see it over and over again. Almost every photo on the donation website for the victims is one of a smiling one. Why??? Why is everyone smiling???
Why can't we show the world that we have real feelings, tone it down a bit with the positive attitude, there is nothing wrong with that! I understand the victims need to think positive to overcome the pain, poor them, I cried for them so much. But think about how the world will see us. No matter what the terrorists do to us, we just keep on smiling like robots. Smiling, smiling, smiling!!! Where are the REAL expressions of sorrow, depression, sadness, shock. Those expressions do not show weakness, but REALNESS. Our society is so unreal, and others in the world see that, it makes me sad.
Look what happened after Newtown, minutes afterward. Parents putting their kids on TV, the mothers (in that case, most often) brushing their hair aside to get a good look. Shameful.
Everyone wants their 15 seconds of fame. They are so thrilled to be on TV they forget who they are and what happened. What society has become.
I don't have a clue what your talking about. God forbid someone is trying to be on the positive side and show these terrorists that they didn't win. What are Americans suppose to do....mope around and fall into a depression and commit suicide? Are you an American?
I absolutely hate that the media wants to find those rare people that are so happy or at peace with everything after a a murder or terrorist act. Countless times you see these stories on the news of someone who has a family member murdered, or in this case with the Boston attack where people are saying they are not angry, they have forgiven the attacker. One example is the lady who is all over the news who was a professional dancer who lost her foot in the attack, she is very positive and up beat about it. What is wrong with showing people who are actually mad at the attackers for what they did? Is the media afraid to show this? Are people afraid to admit they are mad? If I were one of the victims, I would be so angry that I was unnecessarily injured- it's not like it was just a freak accident that could not be avoided, somebody purposely did this to me- no I would not forgive them, and yes i would be very, very, very angry about it! I'm sure most people are that way, but the media sure doesn't want to portray that side of the story, in this instance or any other.
I don't have a clue what your talking about. God forbid someone is trying to be on the positive side and show these terrorists that they didn't win. What are Americans suppose to do....mope around and fall into a depression and commit suicide? Are you an American?
Explain, the positive side of what?
We get our buildings bombed and we smile and say the terrorists didn't win. We gave up privacy rights, put cameras everywhere, established police forces few know exist but number like an army, lock down an entire city all in the name of security and then proclaim we're winning.
In total, the terrorists have probably engaged maybe a few hundred people and spent next to no money. In return we've spent trillions, changed our own society, lost thousands upon thousands of lives, called into question the foundation of what is considered "freedom". What a deal.
Winning what? Do you really think that some terrorists sitting in some hovel cares that Ms. Blonde is smiling on TV?
Winning which should lead to won. If you aren't heading to won, then start re-thinking the approach. If you say there is no longer a "won" then lets start being honest about things and stop saying there is winning.
When the USA declared honorable withdraws and that wars were no longer won but simply faded away, the idea of winning became nothing more than public consumption.
Two punks with pressure cookers cost us untold millions with consequences to our privacy yet to be realized. It cost them a few hundred dollars at most.
We get our buildings bombed and we smile and say the terrorists didn't win. We gave up privacy rights, put cameras everywhere, established police forces few know exist but number like an army, lock down an entire city all in the name of security and then proclaim we're winning.
In total, the terrorists have probably engaged maybe a few hundred people and spent next to no money. In return we've spent trillions, changed our own society, lost thousands upon thousands of lives, called into question the foundation of what is considered "freedom". What a deal.
Winning what? Do you really think that some terrorists sitting in some hovel cares that Ms. Blonde is smiling on TV?
Winning which should lead to won. If you aren't heading to won, then start re-thinking the approach. If you say there is no longer a "won" then lets start being honest about things and stop saying there is winning.
When the USA declared honorable withdraws and that wars were no longer won but simply faded away, the idea of winning became nothing more than public consumption.
Two punks with pressure cookers cost us untold millions with consequences to our privacy yet to be realized. It cost them a few hundred dollars at most.
Do the math.
I could care less what they did or how they feel. They can rot in hell for what they did. I'm all saying is you can't let some terrorist put you in a manic depression. You need to see that not everyone is a terrorist. There is more to life than a terrorist bombing. Smile because you are still alive even if your missing a foot. Life WILL go on assuming you weren't killed. It is tragic, but we can't succummb to some idiots who want to kill us everyday.
Human expression should directly correlate to human emotion and circumstance. It has nothing to do with not letting "them see they've won". They could CARE LESS. And I could CARE LESS of what they think.
This is not what I want my kids to see on TV after a tragic event: Adrianne Haslet 'Boston Bomber' Amputee Victim Casted For 'Dancing With The Stars': Former Dancer Not Scared To Dance With One Leg : News : Mstarz It sickens me to see this on TV. I am happy for the individual, but more respect should be paid to the ones who died by not correlating the Boston bombing events with television entertainment shows!!! That is just how I was brought up (I am a European for those who asked). I am positive that in no other country in the world at this time, would you see such prevalence of "feel-good" nonsense after a tragic event.
I am not smiling. It is too early. Lives were lost. People got hurt. Be compassionate, be helpful, be loving and optimistic, but get real.
Last edited by ResearchMom; 04-29-2013 at 12:36 PM..
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