Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I would hire an estate sales agency. Just let them liquidate whatever and leave the house so they can hold estate sales. None of that stuff is going to be wanted and it's too late to ask about it after all these years.
Rent an apartment
let the estate sale run it's course
sell the house
move along.
I am going through the same thing. Only this DH decided he was the dumper. Now I have to dig up the emotional roots I had planted. Stuff. Stuff. Too much stuff. I am still working my way through how to get rid of/sell these thins. I am 45 miles from everywhere, boonies. Ugh. But it will feel so good to once again be free.
Do like I did:
1. Buy a van.
2. Sell your house and everything in it except maybe what will fit in a 10x10 storage unit.
3. Travel the country unencumbered by all that stuff.
I have traveled 10,000 miles so far and plan to keep going.
Call the kids and tell them to come and get their stuff if they want it. They probably don't. Other than that, do what everyone else said. Get rid of it.
This plus
1800JUNK
Let them take it away. The more I get rid of the better I feel....
I believe you should always keep sentimental things unless you absolutely MUST get rid of them for financial reasons, can't afford a mover, etc. I did what you did after the death of a loved one - donating most of her stuff. I deeply regret it. Just leave the stuff shoved in a box if it is painful, but at least you will have it until the day comes when you won't feel any angst about parting with it.
I hate clutter, too. But in the case of divorce, death, etc., it is much different.
For years I've been debating whether to get rid of/unload much of the "stuff" I have: clothes I'll never wear, gadgets I'll never use, papers I'll never need. It's not the bane of my existence. I just, from time-to-time, look around and wonder about keeping all this stuff.
I waver between going whole hog, slash and burn, go bare bones down to nothing.....and.....the incremental "get rid of what I can today," then purge more when I'm ready, then more later, step-by-step, one day at a time method.
And, I guess since I'm still wavering, I must not be mentally/psychologically ready to get started......so I just keep thinking about it. And that's OK. I don't beat myself up about "small stuff" that aren't life-and-limb related. And if-and-when I declutter isn't that.
First, I was married with children but after 23 yrs my wife decided to move out followed years later with divorce. The boys are grown young men now and on their own. Everyone has moved away but me.
We had a pretty full life and she collected things that we had planned to keep forever: kids toy sets, toddler furniture, sport trophies,wedding, vacation and family albums and much more.
It's been 7 years of living alone in the house full of memorable things but I don't use them anymore and they are sort of painful memories of good times gone.
I've struggled with what to do with all this stuff that is collected in the attic and their rooms.
At the end of last year, I did finally just load up about 2 truck bed loads of stuff, mostly mine, and drop it at the goodwill. Afterwards, I felt pretty good.
By nature, I don't like clutter but I'm surrounded by it. I even have lots of stuff in the garage including tools and various shop supplies used over the years.
Sometimes, I wish I'd get back to the spartan lifestyle I live when I was young. You know, everything I owned could be thrown in the back of my enclosed bed of my pickup truck if I wanted to move.
I know and have read of the 3 month rule but I hate just throwing stuff away.
I notified my boys that they should get the stuff thats important to them or ask their mom if she wants it but they live across the state and the other lives 4 states away ;besides the boys have no where to keep it.
I'm at a struggle of what to do because it feels like an anchor around me with all this stuff I'm just keeping.
I want to feel free of all this stuff.
Throw everything you want or need in the back of the truck and move away.
Some things you can't even give away. I have a computer monitor which works, and has built in speakers.
So far I have been unable to give it away.
Office Depot has a recycling program. You buy a box at one of their stores; fill it up with your old technology items and bring to the store. It's a great feeling to off load things and know the stuff isn't going to a landfill.
I highly recommend "Rightsizing Your Life" by Ciji Ware- she addresses both the practical and sentimental aspects of letting things go. The best advice was to "curate" accumulations- snow globes, books, kids' schoolwork, etc. and keep a few that are meaningful and get rid of the rest.
I didn't bother too much with e-Bay- lots of things not worth it to ship. DH and I did have Junk King come a couple of times when we were downsizing.
My usual route is Free Stuff on Craigslist- they take just about anything but dirty scrap lumber and used electronics (TVs, old computers, etc.). It's a bit of a pain to list items, add a picture, etc. but I hate throwing stuff away. I put the item at the end of the driveway. What I've learned:
-List it just before you put the item out and say the first to arrive gets it. It's also courteous to delete the ad once you know the item is gone.
-I stopped holding an item aside for someone who could get it only, say, after 5 PM. Too many no-shows.
-If you list multiple items in separate ads and put them all out at once, frequently the first person to arrive just grabs it all. (I've used this tactic to my advantage by including small items I want to get rid of that weren't listed.) I vacillate between getting annoyed at their greediness and figuring that I got rid of things, which was my objective. I swear there are people who just drive around in a truck all day checking Craigslist. I just hope they find good homes for the things they take, rather than pitching them if they don't sell at a flea market the first week.
Two years after DH's death, 3 years after the downsizing, I'm still paring down (bit have to confess that I've bought a few books). It's been very freeing.
I'm actually a little envious that you have no one to tell you that you CAN'T get rid of something. LOL. I'm sorry for your situation but try to look at the positive that you can literally do anything you want to. You could get rid of it all and live in an RV if that's what you fancy. You could sell the house and find a smaller one in a new area or even the same area but a house with no memories and just a fresh start.
If you've already told your sons to come get what they want then likely it wasn't that important. My mother stored things for years that we kids ended up tossing because it was only important to us when we were 18 but not so much at 38 especially when it came time for us to find space for it.
At this stage you need to live for you and not be burdened by being the keeper of the memories for someone else. If you're on somewhat friendly terms with your ex you could ask her yourself if she wants any baby things or whatnot you might find but otherwise let it go to someone else who would appreciate them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
